LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 (edited) I'm a simple chick. I live my life pretty decently. I'm modest, reserved, don't ever dress like I'm going on the stroll...educated, have a career, spiritual (grew up in church), strong family ties, always try to do good by others, yet, I feel like the universe is punishing me. For instance, there's this guy after me now: He stares at me without looking away until I become uncomfortable. He rolls his eyes at me (wth) Will flirt w/ other girls in front of me and look at me to see if I care (?) Always finds ways to be in my presence - just plain old annoying I feel like he wants me to ask him out..in other words, in my spirit I feel like he's trying to pressure me into being aggressive. He has shown interest in other nice little ways but I kinda overlooked it because I'm not interested Never really interested in this guy but now I take notice because he has become an irritant NO, we are not in HS. We are actual adults over the age of 25. I don't have a lot of experience with guys/relationships...do you think they sense that? In any event, I just want most of them to leave me alone as they are usually players, fatherly types (think they can tell me what to do) or creepers like the one I mentioned above. What can I do about this? To change this type of attraction? I am fairly quiet w/ males in general and don't engage much. Maybe they think I can be taken advantage of? Maybe they think I'm weak? However, I find the moment I speak up for myself and put them in their place they back up but still try to punish me. Advice? Edited April 11, 2015 by LoveIsABattlefield36 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Well, usually it is because you are either too tolerant or you are too nice to show them that you disapprove. To change things and keep the dreck out, don't agree to any type contact with guys you know are unsavory. Don't have the attitude, well, he hasn't done anything to me yet. Just have the attitude you have no reason to let unsuitable people into your life. Tell them no. Don't ever tell them, "I can't right now." Just NO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted April 11, 2015 Author Share Posted April 11, 2015 Well, usually it is because you are either too tolerant or you are too nice to show them that you disapprove. To change things and keep the dreck out, don't agree to any type contact with guys you know are unsavory. Don't have the attitude, well, he hasn't done anything to me yet. Just have the attitude you have no reason to let unsuitable people into your life. Tell them no. Don't ever tell them, "I can't right now." Just NO. Thanks preraph. I know guys see me as an easy target. I pray everyday that God will give me greater self awareness because I lack clarity in how I'm actually carrying myself. Guess it doesn't help that I'm pretty shy too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 Any other ladies have this experience? Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Being shy is okay (really, it's who you are, right?), but you may want to work on being assertive. The two aren't mutually exclusive. If all you're really after is to put these sorts of guys off (lmao at your list btw), one thing that can help is having a 'game face' - a face that is generally pleasant but gives back nothing of substance to an onlooker and nonverbally says "don't f*ck with me." My face looks a bit like that, but I can turn it up ("seriously, don't f*ck with me, at all") by dialing down the smile a notch or turn it down ("don't be scared") by dialing the smile up and brightening the eyes. Practice that look in the mirror. Seriously. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 If you come across as naïve or inexperienced, some men will either take advantage of this (creeps and players, some of the "fatherly" types) or they may simply be attracted to the good girl type or wholesome girl next door type. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 Being shy is okay (really, it's who you are, right?), but you may want to work on being assertive. The two aren't mutually exclusive. If all you're really after is to put these sorts of guys off (lmao at your list btw), one thing that can help is having a 'game face' - a face that is generally pleasant but gives back nothing of substance to an onlooker and nonverbally says "don't f*ck with me." My face looks a bit like that, but I can turn it up ("seriously, don't f*ck with me, at all") by dialing down the smile a notch or turn it down ("don't be scared") by dialing the smile up and brightening the eyes. Practice that look in the mirror. Seriously. Thank you so much! My sister told me the same thing. I desperately need a game face...desperately!!! I truly believe I look too sweet and innocent for my own damn good! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 If you come across as naïve or inexperienced, some men will either take advantage of this (creeps and players, some of the "fatherly" types) or they may simply be attracted to the good girl type or wholesome girl next door type. Ok, but how do I tell the difference? That they are genuinely attracted to me and don't wish to use/abuse me for their own selfish reasons? I know generally you have to give yourself time to get to know people before you can suss out their agenda, but, are there any say, preliminary signs to look for? Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Guess you're just screwed. Time to join a convent. Link to post Share on other sites
LizardRex Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Don't have an answer for "fatherly" types, but "creepers" and "players" are going to be attracted to the majority of women they come across. That's part of what makes them "creepers" and "players." But this is not important. You cannot change who finds you attractive, but you can change what you find attractive. As long as these aren't the men you're going after, pay them no mind. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Read my signature below... Link to post Share on other sites
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