SunnySide0418 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Being exclusive and being in a relationship? To me, if you're exclusive you're in a relationship and only seeing each other. Yet, I've seen posts on here that refer to them as not the same. Please give me your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
maradona Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Being exclusive is like being F friends but only between you too don't sleep with anyone else no emotions no attachments Relationship is same thing with emotions and attachment 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 You can be exclusive but not fully committed to a relationship yet....in other words you just met and have decided you aren't seeing other people because you just don't know each other well enough yet. When you're in a relationship, you're obviously exclusive. In other words, you can be exclusive without being in a relationship but you'll always have exclusivity with a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 (edited) Being exclusive and being in a relationship? To me, if you're exclusive you're in a relationship and only seeing each other. Yet, I've seen posts on here that refer to them as not the same. Please give me your thoughts? If you subscribe to the dating approach that breaks dating for a relationship as an end goal into stages, exclusivity is the period between casually dating and becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. It is, usually, the time when intimacy is happening and both parties have decided to focus on each other and get to know each other on a deeper level. It is not a commitment to a long-term relationship, it's about exploring that possibility. Each party should understand that, if one or the other decides that after they've come to know the other one better that they aren't compatible for the long-term, that they will move on. It's about managing emotions and expectations to minimize the risk of being hurt or getting hurt as you move through the process of finding a suitable mate. It is wise to have exclusivity when a couple starts being intimate and that both parties understand the purpose of declaring exclusivity, because some people think that once they become intimate, they are automatically boyfriend and girlfriend and to make sure both of them are on the same page. You should have a conversation with whomever you are dating as to what they expect or want when you've become intimate. Just make sure you both agree that's all. Edited March 18, 2015 by Redhead14 3 Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Being exclusive means you're not going to see anybody else. Being committed means you'd watch their dog, take them to the airport, etc etc Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Some people will feel like the dating in stages thing is methodical, mechanical, business-like. But, it's about establishing a foundation for a possible life long commitment. There's a lot at stake. But more than that, it establishes good, clear communication between two people early which is hugely important for a healthy relationship. It kinda forces them to address sticky issues fairly early and to see what each persons communication style is going to be like going forward and it allows each party to "take the temperature" of a relationship periodically, rather than go down a long road only to find that the other person isn't all in anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 If a woman hints at being exclusive, and I want the same thing agreeing to it, in my mind we're now in a relationship. That is what being exclusive means IMO. But the "exclusive" talk is never usually initiated by a woman until at least 2-3 months in. So by then, exclusive and relationship mean the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Agree with others on exclusivity and relationships. Just my 2 cents on progression. 1. Dating: means you are fitting each other into your lives. If you are free and she is free, then you might go on a date. Default presumption: time spent apart 2. Relationship: means you are experiencing life together. You're making room for each other in your lives. Default presumption: time spend together 3. Committed Relationship: means you are building a life together. You start making longer term plans. Joint purchases and investments. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
DoesntGetIt Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I disagree with a lot of these. A relationship is simply a connection you have with another person, from a dictionary: 3. an emotional or other connection between people: If you are in anything with someone you are in a relationship. Casual, seeing other people, not spending lots of time together is one type of relationship. An exclusive, spending a lot of time together is another. Marriage is yet another. Even friendships are a type of relationship. In other words, relationship as a word covers a LOT of things. Exclusive just means that you two are only seeing each other. It is what people generally strive to turn their initial relationship into at some point, or go their separate ways. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 (edited) Being sexually exclusive doesn't necessarily mean you are in a 'relationship'. Guys will always want a girl to be sexually exclusive with them. It doesn't mean that they see her as more than someone to have sex with though. I think girls frequently misunderstand this and think exclusivity means they have a boyfriend. It just means you are not allowed to have sex with anyone else. Unless the guy agrees with you that you are both in a relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend, and that you can publicise this to friends and family of both of you, you are probably not in a 'relationship'. Edited March 19, 2015 by spiderowl Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 You can have a relationship with as many people as you can juggle. If you haven't talked about exclusivity and committed to only date each other, you are not exclusive and either can date other people. Sometimes guys don't mind if you think you're exclusive because then they are technically not cheating if they are sneaking around seeing other women while you're at home being faithful. So don't stop dating unless you have had the talk about exclusivity. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 The way I see it, a relationship is a noun. It's an actual thing that one creates with another. Exclusivity is just an adjective, it's a descriptor word. It just means that neither of the people are having sex with anybody else. Just because two people are exclusive doesn't mean that they are in a relationship. It's very possible for two people to be friends with benefits and are not sleeping with anybody else. It's also possible to have a relationship where the people involved are not exclusive. This is usually called an 'open relationship.' The common standard is an exclusive relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Being exclusive and being in a relationship? To me, if you're exclusive you're in a relationship and only seeing each other. Yet, I've seen posts on here that refer to them as not the same. Please give me your thoughts? Every combination of Rock, Paper, Scissors (Well) includes a relationship. If rock and paper were exclusive, then the game would not tend to go very... er, well This is very basic stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I disagree with a lot of these. A relationship is simply a connection you have with another person, from a dictionary: 3. an emotional or other connection between people: If you are in anything with someone you are in a relationship. Casual, seeing other people, not spending lots of time together is one type of relationship. An exclusive, spending a lot of time together is another. Marriage is yet another. Even friendships are a type of relationship. In other words, relationship as a word covers a LOT of things. Exclusive just means that you two are only seeing each other. It is what people generally strive to turn their initial relationship into at some point, or go their separate ways. There are varying opinions about what does and does not constitute a "relationship" and that is the reason for having a clear picture for yourself of what you are looking for and having an approach that you use consistently and what each part of a developing relationship means to you. It's important to make sure the other person understands that and that they are in agreement. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnsonBaby Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Being exclusive is like being F friends but only between you too don't sleep with anyone else no emotions no attachments Relationship is same thing with emotions and attachment This is the right answer . Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 This is the right answer . Yep, it's about managing expectations and emotions during that period. It's basically, a test drive to see if you are compatible enough for an attempt at a long term relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Being exclusive is like being F friends but only between you too don't sleep with anyone else no emotions no attachments Relationship is same thing with emotions and attachment Rocks, Paper, Scissors, (and Wells) do not have any emotions or attachment to one another... and F'ing is very clearly attaching (didn't they teach you these things in school?) Link to post Share on other sites
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