he told me he is still in love with his ex

[luckyone]

"I really like you, but I'm still in love with my ex, I'm not sure what it is going to take for me to get over her". Those were his exact words... I hear it over and over in my head everytime I start feeling close to him.

 

They dated for 2 years, broke up because of distance, dated off and on for the last 6 months. She broke things off with him. Then a couple months later he met me. They were still talking on the phone until recently. We have been dating about 2-3 months. He told her he met someone and didn't want to talk to her anymore. I guess I should feel good about that right?

 

Here's my problem. I don't want to be with someone that would rather be with someone else. I really like this guy. I have been thinking about him a lot. It hurts me and makes me a little angry that while I'm developing feelings for him, he's still thinking about his ex. I'm sure he has feelings for me too, but I think that he should be over her before trying to start something with me. I asked him if he would take her back if she wanted to, he couldn't answer that question.

 

What do I do? Should I get out now and tell him to call me when he figures out what he wants? Should I continue to see him exclusively hoping he will forget about his ex. Should I see him, but continue to date other people? Any other better suggestions?

[littlelaxer]

heres a story almost close to urs...................

 

A couple years ago, there was this guy who dated a girl for a couple years. She broke up with him becuase she just didnt feel the same love as they used to or something. I met him a couple months later and we dated for about three months. I know it seems like a short time but three months was a big deal for me. I truly cared about the guy......Then one day OUT OF THE BLUE he said that she still had his heart and that he cant help that. They ended up dating again. 4 days after we broke up to be exact! I was very hard for me because he was not only just breakin up with me, but he was jumping right back into his old relationship, and i knew he was happy and i was left behind all sad.

 

I know u really care about him but u have to look at the big picture here and the big picture here is ur feelings. He is didnt answer u when u asked him if she came back if he would take her, and thats not cool for you. It hard for me to say that cause acutally my ex broke up with me recently and when people ask me thta question and i dont answer really deep down im thinking, i would take him back.

 

Im not tryin to put ur whole situation down at all. Im just lookin out for you cause i have been ur spot before and it stinks! Who knows maybe with time his feelings will totally go towards you, but at the same time its not fair to you right now....

[bluechocolate]

yes

[katty]

Just kidding sweetie but if you check out my earlier post we are almost on the opposite sides. My 2 yrs. r/s just ended b/c of long distance and he met someone in the 2 months that we have been broken up and now is engaged to her and she is living with him. Whatever you decide sweets know that the most important person to look out for is YOU. If is likes you but he loves her then you can at least get out without too much pain. Just do look out for #1 and refuse to come after any other ex or anyone. Post and vent all you need to. It does help. I have been crazy with grief and posting has helped me. Good Luck

[DJ_Dork]

THESE ARE MY RULES.

 

1. If the person has not had a relationship for more than 6 months: GREEN.

2. If the person has not had a relationship for 3-6 months: YELLOW.

3. If the person just got out of a relationship for less than 3 months: RED.

 

How do you know? Ask the person. Even if the person might be lying ("Oh, we broke up 9 months ago when it was actually just 9 days ago" from the person saying it.. it means the ex means little to the person and that's a good thing.)

[katty]

I forgot to ask but are you still dating this guy? If so I would suggest you keep your options open b/c he obviously still has some unresolved issues with ex. Wouldn't want you to exclude your self from someone new who wouldn't be still stuck in the past. Take Care

[luckyone]

I am still dating him... I posted this to try and get some feedback as to weather I should continue to see him. I think I will try to continue to see him, but try to keep my options open. It is hard to stop my feelings from developing though. I'll try to hang out for another couple months. If he hasn't come around by then, I'll have to move on.

[katty]

Only you know, just be careful with that heart of yours. Don't let it get to involved until he is able to be available to you 100%. How would he like it if you told him you were still in love with your ex? Anyways just be careful, and keep a little bit of space between you guys until he is completely over her. I just say this b/c it hurts like he-- once you fall for them and it takes forever to get over.

[ziggue]

If you hang out with him for a couple of more months your feelings may grow stronger for him. Whatever you do don't get too attached to the guy. There is nothing worse then being with a guy who doesn't know what he wants in a relationship.

[dizi]

Hi Luckyone~

 

I have to agree with Blue , wholeheartedly. Sometimes when you break up with someone and find out that they are with someone else and are happy, you can get jealous and want that person back, even if you know it wouldn't work out. My fiance's ex did that BIG time! His ex might be going through that, and that might be what's bothering him.

 

"...I think that he should be over her before trying to start something with me. I asked him if he would take her back if she wanted to, he couldn't answer that question. "

 

You pretty much answered your own question... I know you have feelings for him, and it will be difficult, but it is best to leave and let him figure things out before you invest too much of yourself...Hopefully he will eventually decide that you are the one he wants to be with! Give it time and take care of yourself...