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How far is too far for dating? And what driving distance do you consider an LDR?


kaylan

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For me, an hour commute is my hard limit when it comes to dating someone. And I usually only seek out women that far away if I happen to be in the area for some plans. I normally usually search for women within 45 minutes of me.

 

And like most people, I much like a smaller commute but will do the hour when it comes to a girl I really get along with (like the gal Im currently seeing).

 

What is too long for you? And when do you call it a long distance relationship? I think that once its over an hr, and it becomes less easy to see each other once or more a week, then I call it an LDR. So for me over an hour I start seeing as long distance.

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Well, I live in Los Angeles, where 10 miles' distance can be considered "long distance," lol.

 

My guy lives about 18 miles away from me; about forty minutes by car. I don't have a car though, so I take the train as far as I can, then he picks me up, so that's about an hour for me and 20 minutes for him. So, it's not awful, but some people marvel and how we "do it." When I get access to a car, we see each other much more frequently.

 

I wouldn't go much further though, not with my current situation.

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Well, I live in Los Angeles, where 10 miles' distance can be considered "long distance," lol.

 

My guy lives about 18 miles away from me; about forty minutes by car. I don't have a car though, so I take the train as far as I can, then he picks me up, so that's about an hour for me and 20 minutes for him. So, it's not awful, but some people marvel and how we "do it." When I get access to a car, we see each other much more frequently.

 

I wouldn't go much further though, not with my current situation.

HA! Thats nothing. How do your friends think thats far?

 

Back when I was younger and living in NYC, one of my girlfriends during high school went to school 35 minutes away by bus...and lived an hour and a half away by bus and/or train. If I had a car back then it would have been 35 minutes driving still.

 

I dont understand why people would marvel at such short realistic distances like 18 miles. I guess people are lazy and think options are endless.

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I think 'cause traffic can be so bad here. To get to his place from mine by car takes 40 minutes minimum. During heavy traffic, it can take 1.5 hours or more. To compare, my mom lives in Oregon, 80 miles east of Portland, and it takes her less time to drive there. In most places, 18 miles is really nothing. Here, it can seem like a slog. It's a good thing we like each other, lol.

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I'm pretty much identical, 45 mins for definite, an hour for something special. No more. What's the point? In that time I can get to a swathe of UK southeast coast or southern greater London, or London proper on the train.

Edited by shet
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organizedchaos
HA! Thats nothing. How do your friends think thats far?

 

Back when I was younger and living in NYC, one of my girlfriends during high school went to school 35 minutes away by bus...and lived an hour and a half away by bus and/or train. If I had a car back then it would have been 35 minutes driving still.

 

I dont understand why people would marvel at such short realistic distances like 18 miles. I guess people are lazy and think options are endless.

 

You don't get it because you don't live in Los Angeles. 10 miles in LA is far. I work 10 miles from home. Takes anywhere from 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours to get to work depending on traffic.

 

And in LA options are endless. Another thing you wouldn't understand. So many people don't need to drive so far when there could be thousands of people in a 2 mile radius.

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I definitely wouldn't consider an hour's driving as a LDR - some people take that long to commute to work on a daily basis.

 

I'd probably go with 2-3 hours driving, or a plane ride as 'LDR'.

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You don't get it because you don't live in Los Angeles. 10 miles in LA is far. I work 10 miles from home. Takes anywhere from 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours to get to work depending on traffic.

 

And in LA options are endless. Another thing you wouldn't understand. So many people don't need to drive so far when there could be thousands of people in a 2 mile radius.

Did you ignore my entire post? NYC is notorious for traffic. And its well known how much women there complain about dating options. For a single guy, NYC can be heaven.

 

I do get it because I grew up in a city with terrible traffic and with lots of dating options. People are simply lazy and spoiled...hence my post saying its not a big deal.

 

Once I got older and realize that options dont always mean youll find someone suited for you easily, I dont take large numbers for granted. But even when I was a teenager who had no car, a good amount of options, and I still would sit on public transit for a long time to see a chick I really liked.

Edited by kaylan
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organizedchaos
Did you ignore my entire post? NYC is notorious for traffic. And its well known how much women there complain about dating options. For a single guy, NYC can be heaven.

 

I do get it because I grew up in a city with terrible traffic and with lots of dating options. People are simply lazy and spoiled...hence my post saying its not a big deal.

 

Once I got older and realize that options dont always mean youll find someone suited for you easily, I dont take large numbers for granted. But even when I was a teenager who had no car, a good amount of options, and I still would sit on public transit for a long time to see a chick I really liked.

 

Sorry, my bad.

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A LDR to me is not a 1 hr drive. If you live in the same city you are not in a LDR. A town commute for me at rush hour would be an hour and I live 12kms from the CBD.

 

I'm with Elswyth.. at least 2-3 hrs drive or a plane ride. A different town/city at least.

 

Think of all those poor folks who have oceans and different time zones to deal with.

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A LDR to me is not a 1 hr drive. If you live in the same city you are not in a LDR. A town commute for me at rush hour would be an hour and I live 12kms from the CBD.

 

I'm with Elswyth.. at least 2-3 hrs drive or a plane ride. A different town/city at least.

 

Think of all those poor folks who have oceans and different time zones to deal with.

Im in the burbs. So an hour drive is usually 45 miles and several towns and a couple cities distance as well.

 

And for the people who choose to date across time zones and oceans? Thats their fault xD

 

lolz jk. Good on them if they can work it out. I couldnt deal with such distance. I dated a girl from Arizona when I was 16 after meeting her in my home city during her vacation meeting family. I learned young that such distance doesnt work for me.

Edited by kaylan
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To me an LDR would be a different state, or a different part of the state. Something that makes it impractical to see each other more than every couple of weeks or so.

 

When I met my Ex wife, she was a police officer in NYC and I lived in Ohio. We'd only manage to see each other twice a month or so before we ended up living together. Hmm..look how well that worked out.

 

As an aside, I don't know how you folk can stand living in those big cities! Yuck... so many people, so much traffic and noise. My brother lives in Orange County, and not a big city either, and it's just so crowded. I can't wait to leave almost as soon as I arrive!

 

Give me my 1/2 acre yard and the deer to wake up to in the morning over car horns and concrete any day. I live close enough to the city - Cleveland - that I can get all the "culture" I want, but still escape fairly quickly to the quiet I much prefer.

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Having loads of space doesn't bother me

 

Id date anyone in Canada and anyone in USA those are my distance limit

 

I agree one hour is nothing my mother drives two hours into town for work and two hours back Mon-Fri

Edited by Omei
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To me an LDR is 4+ hours away or requires a plane.

 

I prefer when the person lives within an hour or so without traffic.

 

Between 1-4 hours away isn't an LDR but is a p.i.t.a. and geographically undesirable.

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acrosstheuniverse

Honestly, I don't know what I would consider 'long distance' particularly... possible the distance where it's almost impossible to get to your partner at short notice that day without rearranging stuff like work shifts, so if both parties drive, then three hours or more might be considered long distance... any more than that and you're going to struggle to get to see someone, and drive back to your life, on a day where they need you. Sure, people can drive five hours after work to see someone and then five hours back through the night, and people DO that for someone they love all the time. But I wouldn't want to put myself through it.

 

I don't know, I would be wary dating anyone who was more than an hour away (even that I would be wary), unless it was intense and special enough that there were plans to move to the same place together in the near future. I find it too much pressure dating someone five hours away, every meeting having to be a sleepover instead of getting to know them over a coffee or a drink after work. And as the relationship escalates it's natural to want to spend more time together, have more sleepovers, when it's long distance there's very little spontaneity, you miss the person so much on a night, and so forth.

 

I'm sure there'd be guys out there I'd do it for, for example my current boyfriend if we became long distance now, I'd do it. But when it comes to meeting new partners online, dating, if someone was an hour away I'd mull it over and if they were any further away, I doubt I'd even bother meeting.

Sure, I could have been ruling out someone amazing for me... but there are amazing people everywhere and I've never struggled to find partners in my city.

 

I guess it's long distance when your partner has an emergency and you can't be there for them. For me.

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