musicalsteve82 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Physical features or having things in common? I'm curious. I know it's stuff in the brain, but something has to set it off. It doesn't just happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Combination of both, but more about personality and interests jelling than the woman just being physically attractive. Being able to talk and laugh together creates chemistry for me. Big bonus if the woman is adventurous, such as travel and physical activities. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Personality and common interests are much more important than looks for me. Cute is good enough. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Strength (physical or emotional) and protectiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
Danda Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I can't honestly say exactly and everything that entails setting it off in me, but I know the gist of it, I think. When it's happening I actually feel female when with the guy, as opposed to just a person. So for me I'd guess it's a lot of very primal sorts of things. I have codependent tendencies so I also recognize when those are going off, I feel almost motherly towards a guy and I can mistake it for romantic chemistry if I'm not careful (not to sound creepy, but it's pretty much true). It's a distinctly different feeling when I have legit chemistry with a guy. I see him differently and I feel different in my own skin when I'm around him. Respect is also a huge factor for me. What makes me respect a man has most to do with deeper moral and philosophical values that I harbor. If I can't respect a guy then chemistry will be impossible, because I won't see him as a man in the romantic/primal sense. I'm a pretty strong female, sort of a stereotype honestly, as I grew up with super dysfunctional parents and a younger sibling, so I always felt responsible for taking care of everybody. That's pretty much my default mode in every day life as an adult now (leader, protector, just all around "strong" and dominant). So I think I respond very heavily to a man that I can actually respect and trust enough to give up a couple reins, and who actually tries to take them. Then it's just a pinch of physical attraction and the same sense of humor, and it take offs. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
newlyborn Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 strength, intelligence, confidence, and kindness. i have met many men who whine or tell sad stories. i realize that this brings out the nurturing side of many women and/or gets women to let their guard down. but i actually get pretty turned off by hard-luck stories in early dating. either the man doesn't have himself together enough or he strikes me as manipulative. there has to be some base level of physical attraction. but, honestly, if someone is smart, witty, confident, and warm in their general disposition, i don't even notice if they are good-looking or not. i am too busy enjoying their personality. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 For me it's like talent...you either got it, or you don't. You can't create it, you can't develop it, you can't mimic it. It's just there with the right person, the way they make you feel, the connection you have, the way you experience things being with them. You can do the exact same things with someone else or even better, and it still won't feel the same. For example, you could on the most romantic trip in the world with someone...but chemistry won't just magically appear, the emotion, the mood, the "sparks" won't be present...yes, it will be all nice and well, and you could even have a really good time and enjoy yourself, but when you're with someone you have chemistry with, even the smallest most irrelevant things can feel romantic or mesmerizing. Compatibility on the other hand is very important, as chemistry is not enough within itself. Those things can alter the chemistry present for me, even if there's a great romantic and physical chemistry. Beyond the physical attraction, the way someones thinks and behaves can have a great impact on how you view them. But I wouldn't necessarily call that "chemistry" related. If you have trouble having instant chemistry with someone or establishing it, you need to be more open and free yourself from feeling like you have to fit a mold. I think having chemistry with someone is about being genuine, but you have to accept yourself and be genuine with yourself first IMO. That's when you can be genuine with someone else and have this very unfiltered raw chemistry. However, guys who players and even women...can create this facade and mimic certain behaviors in order to perpetuate certain ideas and emotions out of people, like if they are pressing the right buttons and entering the code to their emotions. So this can be faked, it just doesn't have the same raw genuine depth to it...one person will be much farther along than the person who is doing the playing, while the other person can be almost entirely disconnected...which leaves the other person confused and asking silly questions. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
shet Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Don't think it's ever happened - I'm 31 - don't believe in the entire concept, it's childish romanticism/mysticism people layer over the simple luck of mutual physical attraction to attempt to attach some kind of greater meaning. Look at the vague handwaving in just this thread alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 For me it's like talent...you either got it, or you don't. You can't create it, you can't develop it, you can't mimic it. It's just there with the right person, the way they make you feel, the connection you have, the way you experience things being with them. You can do the exact same things with someone else or even better, and it still won't feel the same. For example, you could on the most romantic trip in the world with someone...but chemistry won't just magically appear, the emotion, the mood, the "sparks" won't be present...yes, it will be all nice and well, and you could even have a really good time and enjoy yourself, but when you're with someone you have chemistry with, even the smallest most irrelevant things can feel romantic or mesmerizing. Compatibility on the other hand is very important, as chemistry is not enough within itself. Those things can alter the chemistry present for me, even if there's a great romantic and physical chemistry. Beyond the physical attraction, the way someones thinks and behaves can have a great impact on how you view them. But I wouldn't necessarily call that "chemistry" related. If you have trouble having instant chemistry with someone or establishing it, you need to be more open and free yourself from feeling like you have to fit a mold. I think having chemistry with someone is about being genuine, but you have to accept yourself and be genuine with yourself first IMO. That's when you can be genuine with someone else and have this very unfiltered raw chemistry. However, guys who players and even women...can create this facade and mimic certain behaviors in order to perpetuate certain ideas and emotions out of people, like if they are pressing the right buttons and entering the code to their emotions. So this can be faked, it just doesn't have the same raw genuine depth to it...one person will be much farther along than the person who is doing the playing, while the other person can be almost entirely disconnected...which leaves the other person confused and asking silly questions. Do you think chemistry can be one sided (one person feels it is off the charts while the other person feels mild or average sparks?) And can you feel great chemistry with a person who doesn't like or respect you? That is the question. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 an inquiring mind.....a guy who questions......and answers questions..... an adventurous spirit a person who likes inventing a reader a scholar a dont need the dollars..... compassion for humanity a love of life and all that is in it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dragonfire13 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 For me it's looks (don't have to be a hunk, but cute is good), friendly, well-spoken and well-dressed. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 It's probably chemical! Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
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