I got flamed for cancelling a date

[rana-rana]

Yea ppl he flamed the **** out of me after dating for like a month LMAO.

 

I cancelled the date last night for 2 reasons. A). because I had to stay a few extra hours at work and B). because I was sort of testing him to see if he was really a psycho deep down.

 

Not saying its right or whatever but that's just how I do things u see?

 

Like during the times we started dating he was mad quick in trying to make out with me and ****. I'm like 'papi slow down, I'm not going anywhere lol'

 

So when he was crazy quick in making another date with me just 3 days in after our last date, to me was a RED FLAG!

 

My friend also thinks he might just be trying to get in my panties and I'm gonna slow things down to see how he handles it.

 

He didn't handle it well at all ppl. Most guys don't.

 

He the 3rd guy to act stupid after I cancel just 1 date. I even said lets just reschedule and he wasn't hearing it.

 

He just flames me about how I wasted his time, how he ain't gonna chase me because he knows that's what I want and some other ****.

 

None of this is true. Well maybe a little LOL.

 

I need to know from all u loveshack users if there's other foolproof ways to test a guy to make sure they genuine without them losing their cools?

 

I'm not trying to play games all day but I don't wanna be used either if I make it easy.

 

It don't feel so good.

[Diezel]

What did you expect? You're testing people. Why not trying to stop be a "flake" and just say you aren't interested?

 

If how you are doing things "u see", aren't working then why do you keep doing them? It's obviously NOT working.

 

If you want people to be genuine with you, maybe you should start by being genuine with them. Don't rationalize "playing games" by saying you don't want to but this is how you operate. You are part of your own problem.

 

If a guy is trying to set a date for 3 days after the last one, just say you can't, and offer an alternative date for a few days after. We don't mind being offered an alternate date, but don't set a date and then flake just to "test to see if he is psycho". All three might legitimately have something wrong going on, but there is also a common denominator and maybe the way you are handling all of this isn't the best either.

[MissBee]

I really wouldn't suggest you testing someone. It's manipulative and immature and that behavior is what will probably make them act out than if you'd not bother to do it at all. Using behavior you don't like to avoid potentially being toyed with is counterproductive.

 

Date slowly if you're worried. In time things are revealed. But to lie, cancel dates as tests and other stuff is just frustrating and immature and I would hate for a man to "test" me in those ways.

[Easyguy14]

Yea ppl he flamed the **** out of me after dating for like a month LMAO.

 

I cancelled the date last night for 2 reasons. A). because I had to stay a few extra hours at work and B). because I was sort of testing him to see if he was really a psycho deep down.

 

Not saying its right or whatever but that's just how I do things u see?

 

Like during the times we started dating he was mad quick in trying to make out with me and ****. I'm like 'papi slow down, I'm not going anywhere lol'

 

So when he was crazy quick in making another date with me just 3 days in after our last date, to me was a RED FLAG!

 

My friend also thinks he might just be trying to get in my panties and I'm gonna slow things down to see how he handles it.

 

He didn't handle it well at all ppl. Most guys don't.

 

He the 3rd guy to act stupid after I cancel just 1 date. I even said lets just reschedule and he wasn't hearing it.

 

He just flames me about how I wasted his time, how he ain't gonna chase me because he knows that's what I want and some other ****.

 

None of this is true. Well maybe a little LOL.

 

I need to know from all u loveshack users if there's other foolproof ways to test a guy to make sure they genuine without them losing their cools?

 

I'm not trying to play games all day but I don't wanna be used either if I make it easy.

 

It don't feel so good.

 

 

Judging from your icon photo your only going to get men interested in just taking you to bed, at least for now while your young/attractive. It might be the company your keeping is also a reason why your finding these guys all the time. As for other ways to test men to see if they're genuine I only see being upfront. That would help but its not foolproof. Its hit or miss.

[Jules Dash]

I have nothing against someone who flames someone for cancelling a date within the first few dates as long as they understand that it will be the end of that dating relationship. I don't have anything against it because of people who try to test others or should probably never made the date in the 1st place. 9 out of 10, someone will deserve the flame.

[Erised]

There's no place in mature relationships for testing the other person. Be real, trust they are too, and move forward.

 

Now, if it was merely you had to work, then yeah, it's weird if there was no understanding. However, you confessed you were testing him and I'm sure that came across.

[Danda]

I test people and don't mind admitting it. I don't think it's immature at all. You get burned and/or frightened enough times and you start to be wary of certain things, and you realize that one brief, harmless test could help you dodge some major bullets. I don't see most things in black/white, though. I think there is a difference between gauging how someone reacts to a normal yet inconvenient thing one time, before **** gets serious, and trying to provoke an upset reaction. The latter will keep trying because they want the upset reaction.

Edited January 4, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator