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Living with parents


darkenergy

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I'm currently saving up moving out of my parents' house in about 4 months, and I'm wondering if I should hold off on trying to date until I have my own place. It's really awkward explaining to girls why I still live with the folks at age 26, and when I bring it up, it seems a lot of women won't even consider dating someone with that living situation. Even though I have a job and my own car, I think not having a place of my own demonstrates to women that I'm not independent. I'm on a few dating sights right now, but I'm thinking maybe I should just disengage from the dating scene until I get this part of my life sorted out?

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Standard-Fare

It's pretty tough to try dating when you're living with your parents at age 26. Unless you have someone you're specifically interested in right now (who you think could tolerate the situation), it might be worth waiting to put yourself out there until you're at least closer to moving out. You want to be able to say "I'm getting my own place in a few weeks" and mean it.

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I would do as you are thinking but that is only my view - I am female and have a place of my own - but have dated men in their 40's who don't.

 

 

The last man I dated was 43 and still lived with his parents.

 

 

I didn't know this for a while. He covered it up.

 

 

I have paid my own mortgage and bills for years.

 

 

At 26..you are in the middle of things.

Have a goal..without a girl.

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I don't see any reason not to keep testing the waters while you work towards your own place, if you feel comfortable with that.

 

A lot of people in our generation (early-mid 20s) are in some jacked places right now. Boatloads of college debt and low-wage jobs, as examples. I have never lived by myself. I have always either been with roommates or relatives. I considered myself lucky when I got up to $13/hr at a previous job. Now I am back to a pinch above minimum wage after realizing that I am not cut out for CNA work. Basically ground zero all over again and will have to slowly try to climb ladders, probably one 25cent raise at a time.

 

I think for most people, wherever they're at in these regards shapes their perceptions considerably, unless they are hoping to ride some gravy train express with a wealthier partner or something. I'd date a responsible and hard-working guy who works at McDonald's but can't afford to live on his own, because I totally get that reality coming from my own.

 

But if you are going after women who have their own house and higher-paying jobs, then they might not be able to see your situation for what it is and instead might question your work ethics and if you're an under-achiever and so on.

 

So my advice is that if you want to date right now, go for it, but go for women who are in a similar boat so they can empathize with your situation. Otherwise yeah you might want to wait a bit.

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Listen, times have changed. If you can milk staying at home for a while longer and save up more money, you'll be better off longer term. There's quite the difference between someone who lives with their parents and plans on staying there versus someone who situationally lives with their parents and plans on moving out on his own.

 

Why not start dating now? By the time you get into the thick of it, you'd already be moving in.

 

If you not having your own place is a deterrent for women and they can't see past that one thing, you are better off anyway.

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Standard-Fare
There's quite the difference between someone who lives with their parents and plans on staying there versus someone who situationally lives with their parents and plans on moving out on his own.

 

Well, I think every adult who lives with their parents has the hope in mind of moving out. (Unless they're a total freeloader or derelict.) But the problem is sometimes that plan can take months or years to orchestrate, way longer than intended. And yes, the situation does make dating difficult.

 

So unless there's a DEFINITE plan on the horizon, like "I've signed a lease for a place that starts in March," it may be easier to hold off on dating.

 

Just one woman's opinion. I lived at home for a while in my mid-20s and found dating impossible. It felt like my parents were in my business, and it sucked to always have to go to the guy's place.

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Silent_Shadow
I don't see any reason not to keep testing the waters while you work towards your own place, if you feel comfortable with that.

 

A lot of people in our generation (early-mid 20s) are in some jacked places right now. Boatloads of college debt and low-wage jobs, as examples. I have never lived by myself. I have always either been with roommates or relatives. I considered myself lucky when I got up to $13/hr at a previous job. Now I am back to a pinch above minimum wage after realizing that I am not cut out for CNA work. Basically ground zero all over again and will have to slowly try to climb ladders, probably one 25cent raise at a time.

 

I think for most people, wherever they're at in these regards shapes their perceptions considerably, unless they are hoping to ride some gravy train express with a wealthier partner or something. I'd date a responsible and hard-working guy who works at McDonald's but can't afford to live on his own, because I totally get that reality coming from my own.

 

But if you are going after women who have their own house and higher-paying jobs, then they might not be able to see your situation for what it is and instead might question your work ethics and if you're an under-achiever and so on.

 

So my advice is that if you want to date right now, go for it, but go for women who are in a similar boat so they can empathize with your situation. Otherwise yeah you might want to wait a bit.

 

If only more girls were as open minded like you, where I live my freaking coworkers look down upon me, especially girls who could be deemed hypocrites cause they don't live alone, yet can't comprehend why I don't have enough money for my own place cause I'm working 39 hrs a week for a little over 9$ an hour, work twice as hard as these spoiled middle class people who have everything handed to them and had two parents growing up. Me and my bro were always poor and had a single mom who's sickly now and had to undergo a quadruple bypass major heart surgery---and yet people look down upon me for not wanting to abandon her and pay some bills? Every month this sassy girl inquires whether or not I'm getting my own place and I try to explain it's just not possible at this point, we still only recently got out of debt. Also my friends are not roommate material, they live with parents as well and most don't even have jobs yet, which is odd considering we're all in our 20s and some of them even have their bachelor's degree.

 

My point is, if you get along great with a girl and show that you are slowly saving money and taking steps towards having your own home, then she shouldn't write you off when considering all the information. Hell she should even look down on people who accumulate a huge amount of student debt and don't know how to budget, to me, that's more of a red flag. As long as you pull your own weight, pay bills, do your own laundry and don't rely on mom and dad to bail you out on every little thing, you should be fine granted the girl in question is not a judgmental type. I see no reason why you should hold off on dating, I see guys who are essentially unemployed and live with their parents, thugs basically, dating girls like clockwork and they eventually move in with them, so as long as you're confident in yourself and your own abilities, you shouldn't have too much trouble with the girls who don't care about money.

 

If you can afford it and not wind up in debt and still manage to generate revenue, then sure move out and of course strive towards that, yet don't do what most people do and just move out for the sake of moving out. With the economy and job market being what it is now, I very rarely see people living on their own nowadays that early on. There's always roommates and people building up debt. Not everyone can be fortunate enough to acquire a well paying job, we take what we can get.

 

So I concur, find girls you can consider your equals, those who can empathize with your current situation. Quite often I see people who expect their partner to be making twice as much as them, which is just really odd. If a girl who makes about as much money as you scorns you for your current situation, then you're pretty much better off, dating people who cannot comprehend the true value of a dollar is a very disheartening experience, regardless of how hot they are, it just isn't worth it at all in the long run.

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Just one woman's opinion. I lived at home for a while in my mid-20s and found dating impossible. It felt like my parents were in my business, and it sucked to always have to go to the guy's place.

 

 

I moved out at 19, moved back at 20 until I was 22.

 

 

I never moved back except for a week in my late twenties, looking after my Pops when he came outta hospital after 6 months.

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I lived at home for a while in my mid-20s and found dating impossible. It felt like my parents were in my business, and it sucked to always have to go to the guy's place.

 

Yeah, this is pretty much the dynamic I'm experiencing. Although I do appreciate my folks letting me stay under their roof while I work on my graduate degree, I really feel ready to be out on my own doing my own thing.

 

I really appreciate all the well-thought and respectful replies on such a sensitive topic.

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I moved out when I was 17. Sure, I grew up to be pretty independent, but I also shot myself in the foot financially because at such a young age, I was paying rent for myself...

 

Did it build character? Sure.

 

But no different than if I had done it by age 22 and maybe had saved up a bunch of money in the process. I don't even remember any of the women that I casually dated before the age of 25. So why not?

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I would do as you are thinking but that is only my view - I am female and have a place of my own - but have dated men in their 40's who don't.

 

 

The last man I dated was 43 and still lived with his parents.

 

 

I didn't know this for a while. He covered it up.

 

Wow. I have a friend who suggested going on dates, but not mentioning my living situation to a girl until later. Which, to me, feels a lot like covering it up.

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If only more girls were as open minded like you, where I live my freaking coworkers look down upon me, especially girls who could be deemed hypocrites cause they don't live alone, yet can't comprehend why I don't have enough money for my own place cause I'm working 39 hrs a week for a little over 9$ an hour, work twice as hard as these spoiled middle class people who have everything handed to them and had two parents growing up. Me and my bro were always poor and had a single mom who's sickly now and had to undergo a quadruple bypass major heart surgery---and yet people look down upon me for not wanting to abandon her and pay some bills? Every month this sassy girl inquires whether or not I'm getting my own place and I try to explain it's just not possible at this point, we still only recently got out of debt. Also my friends are not roommate material, they live with parents as well and most don't even have jobs yet, which is odd considering we're all in our 20s and some of them even have their bachelor's degree.

 

My point is, if you get along great with a girl and show that you are slowly saving money and taking steps towards having your own home, then she shouldn't write you off when considering all the information. Hell she should even look down on people who accumulate a huge amount of student debt and don't know how to budget, to me, that's more of a red flag. As long as you pull your own weight, pay bills, do your own laundry and don't rely on mom and dad to bail you out on every little thing, you should be fine granted the girl in question is not a judgmental type. I see no reason why you should hold off on dating, I see guys who are essentially unemployed and live with their parents, thugs basically, dating girls like clockwork and they eventually move in with them, so as long as you're confident in yourself and your own abilities, you shouldn't have too much trouble with the girls who don't care about money.

 

If you can afford it and not wind up in debt and still manage to generate revenue, then sure move out and of course strive towards that, yet don't do what most people do and just move out for the sake of moving out. With the economy and job market being what it is now, I very rarely see people living on their own nowadays that early on. There's always roommates and people building up debt. Not everyone can be fortunate enough to acquire a well paying job, we take what we can get.

 

So I concur, find girls you can consider your equals, those who can empathize with your current situation. Quite often I see people who expect their partner to be making twice as much as them, which is just really odd. If a girl who makes about as much money as you scorns you for your current situation, then you're pretty much better off, dating people who cannot comprehend the true value of a dollar is a very disheartening experience, regardless of how hot they are, it just isn't worth it at all in the long run.

 

Well work environments can easily form cliques and a hive mind mentality, so you don't want to base your dating outlook on your group of coworkers' opinions and personalities. People tend to empathize with what they have experienced, themselves. Not always the case, and also luckier people when it comes to the birth lottery can be empathetic and wise, as well. If you're often surrounded by judgemental Negative Nancies, though, you just have to make sure you don't let them paint a picture of the whole world in your mind.

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I'm the same age as you and living at home - albeit probably a lot further away from living alone than 4 months! :(

 

I don't date at all, I'm trying to get some sort of independence. So I reckon you're doing the right thing holding off - at least because that's what I'm doing :laugh:.

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JuneJulySeptember
I'm currently saving up moving out of my parents' house in about 4 months, and I'm wondering if I should hold off on trying to date until I have my own place. It's really awkward explaining to girls why I still live with the folks at age 26, and when I bring it up, it seems a lot of women won't even consider dating someone with that living situation. Even though I have a job and my own car, I think not having a place of my own demonstrates to women that I'm not independent. I'm on a few dating sights right now, but I'm thinking maybe I should just disengage from the dating scene until I get this part of my life sorted out?

 

26 is only a few years removed from college. A lot of women themselves live at home at age 26.

 

That said, having your own place will definitely help your game. Women that age are generally looking to party and have fun and having a place where you can invite people/girls over will be a huge boon.

 

That may set you back some in terms of saving for a place, and that is up to you whether you think that is worth it. Roommates can also make it much cheaper.

 

It's a two sided thing really. Women in their 20s feel that guys that live at home are not as fun, and women in their 30s who think guys who live at home are just unsuccessful losers. Haha.

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Wow. I have a friend who suggested going on dates, but not mentioning my living situation to a girl until later. Which, to me, feels a lot like covering it up.

 

Don't cover it up.

At your age you have good reason to live with your parents.

 

 

At 38-47 of age, my last 3 ex's should have taken responsibility for themselves by that point I think.

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I'm currently saving up moving out of my parents' house in about 4 months, and I'm wondering if I should hold off on trying to date until I have my own place. It's really awkward explaining to girls why I still live with the folks at age 26, and when I bring it up, it seems a lot of women won't even consider dating someone with that living situation. Even though I have a job and my own car, I think not having a place of my own demonstrates to women that I'm not independent. I'm on a few dating sights right now, but I'm thinking maybe I should just disengage from the dating scene until I get this part of my life sorted out?

 

If u have a job and a car why would they be interested in dating if they know you are in the process of leaving? If I was still able to date living at home without a car then you should definitely be able to date

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JuneJulySeptember

I missed the part where you were saving up to leave. If so, then yea, just hold on for 4 months. What's the big deal?

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