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Awkwardly crushing hard


DoingMyBestest

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DoingMyBestest

This might be a little long...you have been warned.

 

So, I met this girl on a social networking site, saw her once in person at an event for this site, we got along and exchanged phone numbers. I thought she was incredibly cute, but she had just gotten out of a relationship, so I gave it some time.

 

That was three months ago. Now, a week ago we ended up hanging out as her place, I suspected just as friends. We ended up having an incredible time and I stayed at her place talking to her and laughing for hours and hours. When I said I had to go she dove in and kissed me passionately, it was great and we made out for quite awhile. We had some awkward moments, but it was kind of cute awkward and pretty funny. I eventually said, "I really should go now before this goes further".

 

The following Friday, we meet up and go on an official "dinner date". Again it was great! Lots of laughing, a great time. We ended up back at my place, drank a few beers and ended up sleeping together. Now, she made me really nervous, as I haven't felt this way in a long time :love: and I got a little performance anxiety. She took it really personally at first, but I explained what I was going through, we worked through it and had lots and lots of sex. She was definitely satisfied, but the beer got to me and I eventually had to call it quits haha.

 

She stayed over, and when we woke up we had morning sex. I came in like...a minute and a half. Sort of embarrassing and I didn't want to leave her hanging so I went down on her and she claims it was the first orgasm she has ever had from oral. We cuddled for awhile, made out more, I got hard again and she straddled me, rubbing herself on me and using her hands. It felt amazing and I almost came quickly again...feeling embarrassed still from the first time, I flipped over on her back and then kinda panicked cause I wasn't sure what to do next, performance anxiety again, lost my boner again, she took it personally again. She then got really quiet and unfortunately this was like 10 minutes before she had to leave...so she got dressed, quietly and I kissed her goodbye, quietly :o.

 

A few hours later she apologizes for how things left off and we sort of resolved it a little through text messages. I think I am really writing this out just to get the anxiety and embarrassment out of my system. I'm not sure what kind of responses I'm expecting here. Maybe looking for reassurance that I didn't screw things up? I'm 24 and she is 20, so I feel like she took it personally because she is maybe a little less experienced? Anyways, we are currently making plans for next weekend and I really hope it goes well. I guess any advice on how not to be nervous about it being awkward again and what do to do if this happens again would be appreciated.

 

Thanks! (and sorry for the length...and all the details :p)

Edited by DoingMyBestest
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Sounds like you both are having awesome sexy-fun times, with the occasional awkward moment, which is normal.

 

It's also very common for women to take it personally when a man suddenly can't perform. We grow up with all of these ideas of men like you're all a bunch of horny robot rabbits with no insecurities, anxieties or issues of your own when it comes to sex. I don't think the topic of performance anxiety was ever once brought up in all of my sex ed experiences over the years. Instead we teenage females were just constantly warned that boys/men would turn into mindless ****ing machines at any given moment and do everything in their power to get into our pants, and so we had to be ever vigilant and ready to avoid dying of AIDS during a first date.

 

So if she doesn't quite understand male performance anxiety, just keep reassuring her and maybe send her a couple good articles to prove that you're not just full of **** lol.

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Advice on how not to be nervous about it being awkward again and what do to do if this happens again?

 

Never let them see you sweat. If it happens again or you can't get it up, just think "oh, well" and try to please her in other ways such as oral sex which you tried.

 

It will only be a problem if you freak out and give up completely. Just act like it is no big deal and start taking your lips to other places on her body. If you climax after a minute, time to go down town. If you can't get it up, time to go downtown. If you are physically fatigued, time to go downtown. Add other activities as needed and you will be fine.

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DoingMyBestest

Thanks Danda!

 

You're so right about sex ed. I never really realized that until just now. Thanks for the perspective! It also unfair to us dudes because we then think we there's something wrong with us because we aren't being a "mindless ****ing machine" haha. I'm sure I'll get past it, it just took me off guard since I thought I had already moved passed this sort of anxiety.

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