havocser Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Have you ever done this? I'm feeling a little bad but I think me leaving was warranted, this guy bought me a stupid expensive bouquet of flowers before the first date and we had our date last night and he was super touchy and clingy with me. I told him I had to go to the washroom and hopped in a cab and went home. He's been texting me and I don't know what to say, do I tell him the truth that he was just too clingy and came on way too strong or do I let him down nice and lie by saying I got sick or something Link to post Share on other sites
Molly Hooper Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Why say anything at all? You are obviously not interested, and if he is still interested then I think there may be something wrong with him because having your date ditch you in the middle of the actual date is a pretty clear indicator of lack-of-interest. I've never done it. I've been on an awkward/uncomfortable date - but nothing I couldn't handle for two hours. Link to post Share on other sites
adiamond Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Alright, if you straight up ditched him and he still wants you, I would let him know straight up that you are not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 he bought u flowers which some girls think is really sweet 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Put this poor fellow out of his misery. Directly tell him (via text or email or phone call) that you're not interested in dating him. I mean, you're not interested in dating him so there's no reason to lead him on to believe he has a chance to date you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 he bought u flowers which some girls think is really sweet Maybe if he showed up w/o flowers and asked her upfront if she had enough to cover half of the bill for the dinner/date, this thread would not have existed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Have you ever done this? I'm feeling a little bad but I think me leaving was warranted, this guy bought me a stupid expensive bouquet of flowers before the first date and we had our date last night and he was super touchy and clingy with me. I told him I had to go to the washroom and hopped in a cab and went home. He's been texting me and I don't know what to say, do I tell him the truth that he was just too clingy and came on way too strong or do I let him down nice and lie by saying I got sick or something This post was my LAUGH of the day because I actually did something like this back in 1999 lol The girl was just a weirdo and I had to get away Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Im surprised that he even contacted you after you left. He sounds deseperate 1 Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 (edited) You're feeling a 'little' bad? Wow your behaviour was so rude and thoughtless, and now you post a thread asking what to do? I can't believe the rudeness of people these days. No thought at all for what another person might feel. So you were uncomfortable on the date - you cut it short by telling him. That is what you should have done. And no, I've never done it. Have had some bad dates, the worst being when the guy also brought me a present - a rose. I saw the date through to the end, and when he asked about meeting again, I was honest and told him I wasn't interested. Edited December 7, 2014 by green_tea 10 Link to post Share on other sites
amkxoxo Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 He sounds extremely desperate. Any guy who is touchy on a first date probably wants sex early on. Or he may be super inexperienced and be trying way too hard. Either way you ditched him. I've never done it but if you felt your intuition is right then it was right. I'm not saying this to be rude but I have all of these friends that complain when guys text them and they don't want them too. The dreaded "he won't stop". When did texting become something that happened in person? He can't see your face, know what your saying, or know if you even got it. Then don't answer. You clearly never want to see him again so why text him? Ignore. He will eventually stop. If you don't wanna read them then delete them as you get them. You did what you did for a reason. Stick with it. Link to post Share on other sites
MercuryMorrison1 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Guy sounds desperate, because honestly if you ditched me like that? I sure as hell wouldn't be trying to contact you afterward. You really can't expect people to believe you didn't know that what you did was wrong, I know you're older than five. Now if you felt threatened by this guy in any way whatsoever then that change's the playing field some, but I think it's safe to say that everyone here has at some point or another experienced a bad awkward date that made them wish they were anywhere but where they were. But discomfort alone doesn't even come close to warrant just walking away without even telling the guy. You behaved selfishly, you choose to just pack up and leave without his knowledge, to avoid the confrontation, of telling him you are not interested...I know you're a woman...But I mean it when I say...GROW A PAIR, you would have saved this guy a lot of trouble if you had just told him early on that you weren't feeling it, thanked him for his time and moved on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 My self-esteem would fall at a all-time low if a woman left me in a restaurant without telling me she is leaving lol Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 havocser, You created this problem by acting downright mean and now you want advice? Send him one text asking him not contact you any more, then block him. I've walked out on quite a few dates because the guy concerned was disrespectful/rude but I always said why I was leaving - (because I didn't take abuse). Next time treat the guy as you would like to be treated. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 So what did you end up doing? Girl, that was pretty low down. I've had some pretty iffy dates, but I've NEVER just up and left, and if I had, clingy behavior would not be a cause. Abusive and rude? Yes. Clingy and desperate, no. I'm curious, too, to know what he's texting you. Is he upset? Wondering where you are? Asking you back? I would NOT tell him he's too "clingy and touchy." You tell him you're not interested and admit that you handled that badly and apologize and wish him well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 So what did you end up doing? Girl, that was pretty low down. I've had some pretty iffy dates, but I've NEVER just up and left, and if I had, clingy behavior would not be a cause. Abusive and rude? Yes. Clingy and desperate, no. I'm curious, too, to know what he's texting you. Is he upset? Wondering where you are? Asking you back? I would NOT tell him he's too "clingy and touchy." You tell him you're not interested and admit that you handled that badly and apologize and wish him well. no need for her to even respond at this point 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 would it be clingy if she really liked him? i dont think she was ever into him before the date or excited to see him. if she was then she would have loved his flowers and him touching her. iv touched my dates and kissed them before. she was never into him. Link to post Share on other sites
bunnyboileri Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 I have the same situation and find it just difficult to say I am not attracted to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 I'm feeling a little bad but I think me leaving was warranted, this guy bought me a stupid expensive bouquet of flowers. Wow...geeeee...you're a REAL catch. :rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
soyou Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Your behavior was rude, disrespectful and unacceptable. I'M A WOMAN AND READING YOUR POST MAKES ME FEEL PISSED!! Respecting people is the 1st thing you should learn as a human being. He's a human being as well. How could you do such a thing to somebody who likes you enough to go on a date with you and buy you flowers? If you dont like him, you can speak up and tell him that you are not ineterested and would like to end the date/go home. What goes around comes around. One day somebody will ditch on you the same way you do to this guy. And i'm sure as hell how miserable you will be!! With such behavor, I dont want to give any pieace of advices but **** off, seriously!! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 I would probably just send a quick text to say you're not interested. To be honest though, he wasn't respectful of you if he was super touchy so just getting out of the situation was quite possibly what I would have done too. Flowers or not, his super touchiness wasn't respectful so I'd say you're even. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 This post was my LAUGH of the day because I actually did something like this back in 1999 lol The girl was just a weirdo and I had to get away My self-esteem would fall at a all-time low if a woman left me in a restaurant without telling me she is leaving lol I wonder how the "weird girls" confidence was after you ditched her..No OP ive never been so rude to ditch a date and I wouldn't its not that hard to just excuse yourself and be honest after all.. Link to post Share on other sites
Chemist Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 I think you were wrong to leave him at the restaurant like that. Not wrong to leave, wrong to leave like that. It shows an extreme lack of character if you can not simply say that you are not enjoying yourself and want to leave. ****, just lie to him and say you're sick. Rejection hurts enough as it is, but sitting foolishly in a restaurant waiting for your date to return that never does is ultimately an intense amount of hurt that I am sure he did not cause you by sending you flowers and being clingy. Unless he was groping you, then his touching is nothing that warranted anything less than honesty. You should text him an apology for leaving him like that, and then say you're not interested in meeting again. Maybe give him a reason why so he can think about it and improve for the next girl he goes on a date with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author havocser Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 I see some people have an issue with how I handled this.. We finished our date at the restaurant - which was going just fine. We ended up at a bar afterwords and he got fairly drunk. He was grabbing my legs and putting his arms around me and at one point touched my breast. Way too clingy of behaviour for me so I left because I was upset. He's been texting me an apologizing, I've yet to respond but I think I'm just going to text back and tell him that it's good he knows his behaviour was unacceptable but that I am not interested. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 In our defense, those are not details you provided in tell first telling of your story. To say someone is touching your inappropriately is a lot different than simply saying they're touchy and clingy. It shades the story much differently. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author havocser Posted December 7, 2014 Author Share Posted December 7, 2014 That's what I consider clingy. It was our first date and he was all over me. Definitely not a man that I would ever be interested in. I should have added more detail but I was really not looking for anything other than what to say to him. Link to post Share on other sites
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