Am I the only one, or do you struggle talking when moving about?

[Teknoe]

So, on my date last night, I felt dinner went fine. Conversation was fine. Not earth shattering, but I am a sit down and talk kind of guy. Always have been. What I suck at however is talking while moving about. After dinner we walked around the mall, and I just felt uncomfortable and wasn't sure what to say. When I was talking, my date was moving around the store and I moved with her trying my best to carry on the point I was making. It was difficult as hell, lol.

 

I kept wishing she would stop.

 

I really am not used to making conversation while walking around the mall or something of that nature. A hike or walk I'm better at, but the mall... ugh. I don't know if it's because I'm non-materialistic or what. But I just struggle with this aspect.

 

What do you do... make light comments at stuff you see? Or do you ignore it and bring up other topics.

 

At one point she tapped me on the shoulder and said "Tek, you're asking questions that are too personal. Come on, let's talk about shallow stuff."

 

I just didn't know how. I am an old soul in that I like deeper conversations, and I do it best when I'm sitting down 1 on 1 with someone. I struggle to talk on the move.

 

Is this the case for anyone else? I hate when people want me to go to the mall. I dread it because somehow, I never know what to say while walking through the mall. Hell, I barely go to the mall at all on my own.

 

For the record though, despite how much I felt I bombed the walking part of my date last night, apparently, she was still digging me, as by the end she asked if I saw her as a friend or as GF material. She said she really enjoyed my company and would like to do it again.

 

I see her as just a friend and was getting tired of walking around the mall trying to force a conversation with someone I wasn't interested in. When she let me go at 9:30 (we just walked to the area where my car was parked) I let out a huge sigh of relief, lol. I just wanted to get home at that point and be to myself and my own forms of entertainment

 

But yeah, I seem to never know what to say when the action gets moving. When on foot, I just walk around, looking for something to say, and hope the girl doesn't think I'm a dimwit. I don't know why but sitting down I feel so much more confident and able to have a solid conversation. Get me moving and suddenly I'm just lost.

 

Gosh, please tell me you struggle with this too.

 

Or better yet, how to get better at this if you once went through this, but then improved.

[rester]

Is it the moving around part you struggle with, or just being in a mall? Why did you to to a mall on a first date? I don't go to malls and definitely would not go on a date to a mall, so I can see why it could be uncomfortable.

 

I generally enjoy walking so a walking date would be fun for me, but not walking around a mall. I always feel bad for guys that have to go clothes shopping with their wives and girlfriends.

[Teknoe]

Is it the moving around part you struggle with, or just being in a mall? Why did you to to a mall on a first date? I don't go to malls and definitely would not go on a date to a mall, so I can see why it could be uncomfortable.

 

I generally enjoy walking so a walking date would be fun for me, but not walking around a mall. I always feel bad for guys that have to go clothes shopping with their wives and girlfriends.

 

I think mainly it's the mall. I always feel super self-conscious walking around in a mall. Funny, because during my late teens and early 20s I worked 4 jobs in the mall. It's just not a place of interest to me. Everything I want I already have, so I just see a bunch of stuff at the mall I have no interest in buying, or even examining.

 

The date was technically at a strip mall. It's a very fancy place actually. It's the go to place on Saturday nights with live music and fancy restaurants. But seriously, meh. I spent 50 bucks on two small items. Gosh, I could have eaten for 1/5 the price and enjoyed the food much better. Anyway, I hate walking and talking at the mall. I never know how to make conversation during mall walking.

[Frank2thepoint]

So why didn't you suggest sitting down and talking? Or why not suggest walking and talking somewhere else besides the mall?

[Assasda]

If you dont feel like to talk.

Dont talk

You dont have to be mad about it

[CaliGypsy]

The thought of a date taking me to the mall is horrifying. I agree it's an awkward place to try to get to know a person .

[Teknoe]

The thought of a date taking me to the mall is horrifying. I agree it's an awkward place to try to get to know a person .

 

Yeah I don't think I'll ever do that again. Lesson learned!

[PogoStick]

I'm guessing you have some anxiety issues?

 

At a mall, or any public setting, an easy conversation technique is to just be observational. Think a bit like a child. Talk about what you see, hear, smell, feel. Walk into a store and tell her, wow I like how the fabric feels on this dress. Point out something colorful that catches your eye. Comment on the smell of the coffee or bakery.

 

Eventually that should trigger other thoughts from one of you. She might respond, that reminds me of the best cinnamon roll I ever had was in the rocky mountains when I went skiing. Now you have a new subject to pivot.

[Shepp]

Yeah, I think Pogo's on it basically!

You need to kind of tie at least some of the conversation into what you actually doing, seeing, hearing, in the present. Once your rolling obviously it can go anywhere like any other conversation but I guess I can see why walking round somewhere with someone who's asking you stuff but making no reference to the place where you were could kind of give you the feel they were a little... bored? or not too keen on being there.

 

 

Think a bit like a child.

Luckily not something I have an issue with :lmao:

[PogoStick]

It's the idea of not having a filter. Children tend to speak their thoughts. Ohhh that's pretty! You smell good. Wow, he's tall!