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Fell hard for another girl...


whodat11

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So here's what happened. I've been with my girl for over 4 years. I was always pretty happy or at least content with her. I always just wondered what else was out there, but ignored that feeling since I just thought it was GIGS. Recently she went out of town for about two weeks. I didn't miss her. I hung out with friends and had a great time. The major problem comes in here.

There was this girl I knew beforehand and I had already felt kind of a connection with her. We ended up hanging out with all our friends and got closer to each other. Eventually, we started hanging out just the two of us.

I wasn't trying to "get it in" or anything, I was just enjoying spending time with her. Eventually our feelings for each other grew and we let each other know. We hung out a few more times after that but then I had to break off from her since I do have a girlfriend and I did not want to cheat. The thing is now, I really regret it. And this isn't me trying to decide on whether or not to pursue her, I already lost that chance. She was pretty hurt when I broke things off. But this all made me wonder, if I could fall so hard for someone else and miss them this much (I'm hurting pretty bad), does that mean my girlfriend is not the one for me? Or is it maybe just GIGS, limerence, or something else in which the feeling will wear off.

 

Little details: My girlfriend and I are pretty different personality wise and interest wise (music, hobbies etc.). This other girl and I are pretty similar in every way. I would say with big values and goals, my girlfriend and I are slightly closer than this other girl and I, but not too much. Views/outlook on life though, this other girl and I are really similar.

With my girlfriend, I am happy to see her. I have a good time with her, but often I find myself trying to hang out with friends more. I do love my girlfriend, which is why I broke things off with the other girl.

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I don't get it...

 

You say you "love" your gf, but 4 years and no marriage? What are your ages? Are you guys holding off cuz you're in school or something?

 

Anywho, if you and your girlfriend of 4 years do not certain things in common, you enjoy your time away from her - yet you love her?

 

Ok....

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@Gloria25

We met in highschool, we're both 21 and in college.

She treats me right and we've been through a lot together. I do enjoy being with her, but for awhile, I've been itching to have some time away from her with friends and whatnot. The reason I am still with her is that I feel like these feelings might just be what happens as relationships age. I know the excitement and all fades, I just don't know what it's supposed to feel like when it does since this is my first solid relationship with someone that treats me so well.

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Also, I never really had any serious doubts about this relationship until I met the other girl. I know it's wrong, selfish, and a real gamble to leave someone for someone else, so I didn't do that.

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@Gloria25

We met in highschool, we're both 21 and in college.

She treats me right and we've been through a lot together. I do enjoy being with her, but for awhile, I've been itching to have some time away from her with friends and whatnot. The reason I am still with her is that I feel like these feelings might just be what happens as relationships age. I know the excitement and all fades, I just don't know what it's supposed to feel like when it does since this is my first solid relationship with someone that treats me so well.

 

Well, there you go...You are probably just "used" to having the company.

 

If you are looking for someone for the long term, you have to decide what you need in a mate. If you are happy with the way someone "treats" you (I have no idea what that means to you), then I guess with this gf you're gonna have to give up on being with someone who shares similar music, tastes, etc.

 

But you two are so young and in college, this is the time where you shouldn't take dating so seriously and use the time to figure out what you want/need for the day you "do" decide to settle with a mate for life.

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Also, I never really had any serious doubts about this relationship until I met the other girl. I know it's wrong, selfish, and a real gamble to leave someone for someone else, so I didn't do that.

 

But you did have doubts, "I aways wondered what else is out there" that is doubt. At your age and stage in life this is normal and to be expected. This is a life lesson for you, just don't become that guy. Be honest with your girlfriend and tell her how you feel. Stay there will be pain involved. Its still better then stringing her along and hoping it will get better.

 

Your young, she is young maybe your right for one another, maybe your not. The one thing you know for sure is its not right for you NOW.

 

Here is the thing, you've already crossed the line by engaging and staying engaged with a young lady that you have an emotional connection with. Cheating is far, far more then sexual or intercourse. Cheating also includes gaining an emotional connection that takes away from your partner, you have done that.

 

It maybe time to end the relationship, it shouldn't matter if you have a chance with the other girl or not. What matters is you feel like there is something better out there, allow her the chance to have someone who thinks she is that something better. Its hard, but if you truly care for her, let her go. Be that guy, the one who is honest and open with those you care about.

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My biggest fear with this is that my mind is just jumbled up with the thoughts of this other girl and that if I do end things with my girlfriend, I'll really regret it.

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you're too young. break up and explore. i was with my college bf for 5 years and think it was better if we broke up earlier. we are friends now.

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