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How to interpret these signals


Pistol pete

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Hi Guys/Girls

 

I have a few questions regarding how to interpret female body language and generally why women do the things that they do.. (I am a guy after all)

 

I'll give you a bit of a back story.. I moved to a different department at work around two years ago and instantly noticed a pretty girl milling around the office, instantly liked her.. around two weeks later she gets moved.. where you might ask? Right next to me... score.

 

As it turns out, not only is she cute, but she's also just a lovely girl.. fun to chat to etc and I deliberated for around 2-3 months whether to ask her out or not. In the end I decided (based on previous experience) not to.. as I didn't want to risk ruining the atmosphere in the workplace. I also ended up meeting someone else and decided to focus my attentions on pursuing that relationship (that relationship ended a couple of weeks ago leaving me free as a bird)

 

Fast forward to present day.. last week she quit in order to focus on moving to London. So now I'm thinking, what the hell.. why not go for it? There's not gonna be any office awkwardness if she says no.. and although we're friendly, I wouldn't exactly say there was an 'important' friendship to ruin.

 

Now to the interesting bit.. I am absolutely **** at reading women.. haven't got a clue.. but I feel that there have been a few signs that she might be interested, I was wondering if you guys had any thought as to if there might be. I've added a list below of what I think are plus and negative points.. Also for the record, I'm 29, she's 28.

 

 

Pros


  • Regularly engaged in conversation - how my weekend was/what I got up to etc

  • Accepted a lift home from office nights out a couple of times, when other options were available.

  • Started going through my CD collection in the car

  • Constantly busting eachother's balls, everything I gave out, she gave right back to me..!

  • Would often mutter things at her desk, in order to invite questioning as to what's up

  • Always was very playful at work, for instance we'd always mess about pinging elastic bands back and forth and we'd make each other weird ornaments out of stationary.

  • On one night out, we were walking as a group to a restaurant after work (her leaving meal actually) with around 10-15 people. I said to the group.. "I'm just gonna stop off at my car to put my bag in the boot, anyone else is welcome to dump some stuff in there?" Immediately she says that'd be helpful.. no-one else comes. When we got to the car she then changed her mind and said she didn't need to put her bag in there. I grabbed my insulin (diabetic) and bits and pieces and she offered to put it all in her bag for me.. which I thought was weird because that's what all my ex-girlfriends have done! :s

  • Prior to another night out, I mentioned that I didn't wanna get to the venue early and sit with people I dislike, so I asked the group of people who I do like to text me when they get there.. so I know whether or not to go in.. she immediately got her phone out to take my number before anyone else had a chance.

  • There would be times when we were messing about where her hand would touch mine, when really it didn't HAVE to.

  • When we talked at work she'd always turn her chair to face me.

  • She's always very supportive of what I can do at work.. for instance, I'm good with computers and she'd always ask me for help if she had a problem with Excel crashing or something.. and then would say 'oh you're too good to be working here, you should be in IT!'

  • Most people at work have always noticed that there was a bit of a spark between us, sometimes people would joke that when we were messing about, we were a bit like an old married couple

  • Back when I first considered asking her out.. we were talking on a Friday afternoon and she mentioned that she had a lot of uni work to do at the weekend. I mentioned, "if it gets really stressful, I'm probably gonna take my dog for a walk in the countryside on Saturday, if you fancy a break let me know". She replied on Sunday in regards to the offer, saying that she was busy studying all weekend, but if the offer extended to another time, she'd be up for it

  • I once mentioned to her that I was interested in going to watch my local hockey team, but some friends had let me down (by not inviting me!) and she mentioned that she sometimes goes with one of her male friends that she usually goes with (this guy is kind of in love with her and is the definitive clinger/friend zoned loser) and would I like to come.. Which I did.. and it was a fun evening.

  • Ok now this last one may all have been in my head, but still.. about 1-2 months ago, someone jokingly asked me if I had a gf (I keep my personal life to myself, no-one knew I wasn't single) and when I said, yes I have one thanks.. I noticed that she kinda went quiet and generally sort of looked disappointed.. started texting on her phone

 

Cons


  • I mentioned that I liked her to one of the other females at work (one of her best friends there), who said.. 'yeah I've always known you liked her' and it seems as though the girl in question has never talked about me in that way, but she did say that she is a bit of a closed book and is very private about her personal life.. doesn't share much. Her friend also advised me to go for it, as she's also always had a no dating colleague rule and that she 'deserved someone nice'.. which suggests maybe she usually goes for the bad boy type.

  • As I've said, she's a lovely person.. maybe this is just how she is to everyone?

  • She's had my number and been a friend on fb for almost 2 years and never initiated conversation, but then maybe she's shy?

 

 

Anyways, a few of us are organising a cinema trip soon.. will be myself, her and 2 other girls.. I'm hoping to sit next to her and be a bit flirty.. maybe have a bit of a wrestle for the arm rest or something.. and then arrange to drop the other girls off first.. and ultimately ask her out for a drink/trip to the pool hall.. something fun where there's no excuse to have to talk about work etc, (I am wary of doing this). I also need to make it pretty clear that it's a date and not going out as friends.. is there a good way to do this without specifically using the word date?

 

I also have to take into consideration that she's currently looking for a flat and job in London, I know she's got a lot on her plate so maybe this isn't the best time?

Edited by Pistol pete
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Nothing you've written gives a clear indication that she likes you more than as a good work friend she can joke around with. It could go either way.

 

But I can tell you she knows you like HER, since you had that conversation with one of her best work friends. Female friends will definitely share that type of info with each other. So some of the flirtation you're sensing could be stemming be your coworker's awareness that you're into her/liking the attention (whether or not she likes you back.)

 

The biggest detail that's standing out to me is that she's about to move . Is London anywhere near you? If not, why would this be a good time to try to start something with her?

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The biggest detail that's standing out to me is that she's about to move . Is London anywhere near you? If not, why would this be a good time to try to start something with her?

 

I live about an hour's drive/train from London, the idea is to get the ball moving whilst she's around here, that way it'll be clearer if it's worth pursuing over the slightly longer distance.

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Ask her out.

 

She will either say yes or she will say no. But if you approach it in a light hearted (but be clear what your intentions are...) way you have nothing to lose.

 

It does sound as though it could go either way.

 

Good Luck!

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I live about an hour's drive/train from London, the idea is to get the ball moving whilst she's around here, that way it'll be clearer if it's worth pursuing over the slightly longer distance.

 

Well, if that's the case, it sounds like you have a limited window of opportunity, so you might as well seize the day. Ask her out! See what happens.

 

If you don't do that, chances are you will naturally lose touch anyway when she moves to London. There will be no real opportunity for this in the future.

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Well, I asked!

 

Said she would love to go out.. 'as friends', apparently she's into some other guy so it wouldn't be fair..

 

Nevermind, at least I won't have to wonder now :)

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