Daisydance Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I've had an invitation to a wedding evening do in September, me and my boyfriend will have been dating over 8 months by then. So tonight I asked him if he would like to come. Some of my really good friends will be there and I'm sure they will make an effort to make him feel welcome. His response was hmm I don't think so, I'd feel really awkward at a party where I didn't know anyone. So I said its really going to be informal disco and a hog roast kind of thing and im sure it won't be awkward at all once you've met everyone. He replies by saying he doesn't think he's ready to meet everyone yet. Its not an issue that I go by myself. I'm just disappointed that after 8 months he doesn't feel ready to socialise with my friends. We have only really bumped into the occassional friend when out and about we haven't gone to any parties together. I know I am more social than he is. He meets up with his friends maybe once a month whereas I'll have stuff arranged with my friends at least once a week. I don't think I realised just how anti social he was. Has anyone been in this situation before? Does your boyfriend really need to spend time with your friends? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I didn't care if my BFs spent time with my friends but I did care if they refused to accompany me to weddings & such. Is there any way you can introduce him to some of your friends before the wedding? Would that make him more comfortable? Personally I have approached similar situations by point blank saying something like I was looking forward to going to this with you as my date. I will do my best to make you feel included & I know my friends will enjoy your company. I'm having a hard time understanding why you won't make an effort to go with me. From where I sit, it feels like I'm not important to you. If that is not the case, please help me to understand why you don't want to go. If we're going to be together at some point you will have to deal with these people. What's wrong with now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Sounds like he is just not that outgoing which is unfortunate, I can see where that might be unattractive as well Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 He doesn't care to put that energy out. Any other things in the relationship that isn't ideal? This would make me question the relationship. It seems like it's more about known as a couple than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Im sorry to hear he`s not willing to participate in your friends wedding. In fact how disrespectful. However it is up to him but it might be he`s getting cold feet and still trying to work out what he`s wanting in this relationship. You guys remind me of my friend. He was out going and wanted to party all the time and his wife was more quieter and the more reserved type who liked to stay at home. They were like chalk and cheese when deciding what to do over the weekends. To answer your question. For the relationship to move on and grow. Yes he will have to meet your friends. Its called socialising and intergrating into your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I think eight months in, you have the right to push on this a little bit. You're obviously ready to let your friends get to know this guy. He should be happy about that, not resistant. It's a red flag. Let him know it's important to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxmusical Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I'm surprised your bf still haven't met your friends in a social gathering after being together for 8 months. Yes, I believe your bf should meet your friends. As another poster said, it's integrating him into your life. Sorry OP, I read your other threads about him. It sounds like he's not as into the relationship as you are. If a man truly wants to make a relationship work, he'd put in the effort. I'm not a social butterfly but my bf is. But I still put effort into going to social events that his friends/colleagues organized even if I've never met them before. Why? Because I know it makes my bf happy. You should have a talk with your bf. Let him know that him meeting your friends means a lot to you, that it makes you happy. Assure that you'll be by his side during the wedding so he won't feel left out. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Did you remind him there would be free booze? That's really the only reason guys go to weddings 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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