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what do I do?


Cathy812

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Hello I have a date at twelve o'clock today which I am getting a train to. The guy has been very keen for a while. However last night I was with my dad who was very ill and I tried calling this guy and texting he didn't reply I just needed someone to chear me up he saw my two what's app messages but didn't reply. I messaged him this morning to ask if we where still on for today should I still go he said yest he can't wait for tomorrow. He messaged me on facebook and as I said yest can we postpone it was a joke because straight after I said I am joking and that's when he didn't pick up his phone or texts. He said he had made plans with his son to go to the cinema and would text me later on he used to put lots of kisses on these messages none :/ what do I do??

 

cat x

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If this is going to be your first date. I think your joke back fired.

 

I d message him again to be clear thaty youre still on but you were kidding about postponing your date.

 

That said. If I was on the other shoe. I think someone saying to postpone a date would be flaking. I certainly wouldnt think it as funny.

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I think I was just scared cos all my exs tret me bad he said do u want to c me again he said probs, but a bit busy atm will text me tonight and he then deleted the tag on fb which I put yest about seeing him today and looking forward to it. So he said he wants to c me again but then he deletes tht tag. And about a couple of weeks so not long hes been very keen what should I do to resolve this?

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So listen to him to what he says. He will TEXT YOU tonight so stop analysing everything.

 

Maybe you should acknowledge your job was unfunny and apologise. If he counter offers to see you again then he`s interested. If he doesnt count offer for another date then you apologise and make it up to him for another date and promise him you wont make another joke next time.

 

Case closed. Resolved. NEXT! lol

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Should I listen to what he says when he said he would message me tonight then I really like him and he said he likes me I just worry ive messed it all up now :/

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todreaminblue
Should I listen to what he says when he said he would message me tonight then I really like him and he said he likes me I just worry ive messed it all up now :/

 

i think you should apologize youhave upset him and he didnt think your "joke" was funny and neither were you joking you said you are scared.....it wasnt a joke you are afraid and you wanted him to feel like you didnt really care abotu the date tomorrow.........you succeeded in that.........so be honest with him about everything its the only way is to not play games ....embrace your fear, admit your insecurities and then you can work on them by getting to know the guy better.... and be honest.....best wishes....deb

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I messaged him apologising with him saying he will be message me tonight and would like to c me again tht must be gd right? I just have to wait it out now :) what should I do if he doesn't message me should I message him or wait for him to message me?

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Ok he has been so into me messaging morning texts calling me and because I got cold feet boom he seems really into me so I am hoping he does message me. He was really keen like texting and snap chatting me loads and saying he was looking forward to seeing me. One more question when I said do u want to c me another day he said probs. Bit busy atm. Ill text u tonight- does that mean hes busy with his son today or does it mean he's busy in general for a while. The first option sounds better I just hope he's not making excuses to blow me off what do you guys think he meant?

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maybe -- and this could be just my thought --- he was actually going to the movies was all -- as a guy remember ladies -- don't read in to it to much - we don't text 24/7 and yes we go to the movies -- if we date and your are texting too much -- well you will be more than placed on the blocked senders list / we won't text back --- ask how was the movie and move forward

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Ok so you think after I said can we postpone he asked his son if he wanted to go to the cinema and then when I changed my mind it was to late because he had already planned something what do you think?

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Cathy

 

I have read this thread 3 times & I honestly can't figure out what you are trying to say.

 

My understanding is that your father is dying. You left 2 messages for this man/date on a What's App but although he saw them he didn't reply. On facebook you asked to postpone your date, I'm assuming because your father is ill. Then you messaged him again in the morning saying your FB post was a joke & he said he can't wait for tomorrow. There were lots of emoticons (which BTW mean nothing).

 

So now your date is off because he made other plans. He has said he "probably" wants to see you some time in the future.

 

I think you are trying to figure out where you stand. Is that correct?

 

Your 1st priority needs to be your dying father. I can wholly under stand why a new guy doesn't want to get involved in the middle of a family tragedy.

 

Next you need to work on your communications skills. If your messages are anything like what you posted here, no wonder the guy's confused. Punctuation is your friend. Being consistent is also helpful. Understand sarcasm & jokes do not translate well on text, e-mail, FB or apps. Don't use them. If the nature of what you are saying needs context to be understood, call, don't text.

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Hello the story is my dad has been ill for sometime the guy I was going on a date with works with people with parkingsons last night my dad had a bad turn he was ok an hour after. So to not scare this guy off I said I postponed and then said I was joking and I was looking forward to seeing him. This is because my dad was better. The guy still wont message back and his phone goes straight to this person is on another line. I don't know what to do he said he would text tonight but hasn't and he said when I said can we do it another day he said probs just a bit busy right now ill text you tonight but does that mean his future days are busy or that he was busy when I texted him?

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It means he was busy when you texted him. He also may not be sure when you cancelled then tried to reinstate the last date.

 

You should not have said you were joking. You need to be clear & honest. You cancelled because you father was ill but then became available when he rallied.

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I whatsapped him this

 

I have to be honest with u mark I said postpone cos my dad had a funny do and I didn't want the first time that u saw me I would be upset after I said it I felt bad for cancelling on u so I tried to say yes I wanted to go out with u my dad became better over night so by time tomorrow I was all happy and smiley to come and meet u I just didn't want u to think I was fobbing u off with a stupid excuse when actually all I really should of done is be honest its upset me all day and I blacked out I got rushed to a and e I am ok when I came bk I found out a have got a new full time job.

You deserve the truth and I should of told u bt I didn't want your sympathy. I am really really sorry mark I really am I really want to see you. I do like you anjd I know you can handle the truth about my dad being really ill. I feel awful I really do please forgive me I am really trying to make this up to u mark I hope you had a nice time with Alfie he's so lucky to have a dad like you :) give us another chance please bbe xxxxx

 

I told him the whole truth so I hope he can give me another chance what should I do next just wait?

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He's seen it but he hasn't replied what should I do??

 

You should leave it alone. I think your message sounded very desperate. And if he doesn't respond to it, you need to let it go. You've said all you've needed to say.

Edited by Zahara
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Made he just needs some time away a bit of no contact

 

I think it would also help to better articulate your messages and posts. I believe d0nnivain mentioned punctuation. I had to read your message to him more than once to understand what you were saying. You could have cut that message to a few sentences and conveyed your thoughts without sounding desperate and clingy. Work on your comunication.

 

Also, out of nowhere you now mention to him you were so upset that you blacked out/went to emergency room/new job? It almost seems like you're creating stories and fishing for sympathy and attention. It's difficult to follow what's actually going on.

 

Yes, leave it alone and if/when he is ready to reach out to you, he will. There is nothing more that you should do on your part.

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It really is hard to understand and follow you. It would be easier if you used punctuation and wrote out your words and had full sentences.

 

Nevertheless, I can tell you really want to go on a date with him, but I have had a girl do exactly what you did to him and when that happened to me I completely ignored the girl and stopped talking to her. It's not that I was being rude, but if someone flakes on a date we have set up then I know that person is not worth my time.

 

I suggest setting up another time and place for a date. And don't flake. Maybe you'll get lucky and he will come. Good luck.

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Hes blocked me of fb and whatsapp I am gutted now what do I do next :/

 

It means that he does not want to further communicate or be accessible to you.

 

There is nothing you can do. You have to let it go. I'm sorry.

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Ye I know he definitely changed his tune he was super keen before

 

Who knows what changed his mind. Maybe all the drama and the story telling made a negative impression. Maybe your last message came off too strong. Maybe he was never really invested because "super keen" doesn't always guarantee it's going to progress.

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