CadeYeager Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Many of you might think this is a long-shot crazy question but here goes: Back when I was in the 7th grade (age 11) I dated this girl. We were "in love", infatuated, etc. Whatever you wanna call it, we were into each other. The relationship lasted for a year. Her father had a job which he commuted out of the state a lot. Upon recieving a promotion he decided to relocate by moving. So naturally... we broke up due to distance. I believe to this day that if she did not move, we would still be together. With that said... we are both now 21, we haven't spoken since, and she lives in another state (1 state over). Yeah, awkward. It's not like I've thrived on the thought of her all of these years. I dated plenty of other people, but I've always been open to reconnecting with her. I DO look back and enjoy the thought of her. Nothing bad happened, and we just ended because of elements outside of our control. Hmm... who knows. Maybe I'm fooling myself. Link to post Share on other sites
torturedartist Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Many of you might think this is a long-shot crazy question but here goes: Back when I was in the 7th grade (age 11) I dated this girl. We were "in love", infatuated, etc. Whatever you wanna call it, we were into each other. The relationship lasted for a year. Her father had a job which he commuted out of the state a lot. Upon recieving a promotion he decided to relocate by moving. So naturally... we broke up due to distance. I believe to this day that if she did not move, we would still be together. With that said... we are both now 21, we haven't spoken since, and she lives in another state (1 state over). Yeah, awkward. It's not like I've thrived on the thought of her all of these years. I dated plenty of other people, but I've always been open to reconnecting with her. I DO look back and enjoy the thought of her. Nothing bad happened, and we just ended because of elements outside of our control. Hmm... who knows. Maybe I'm fooling myself. I didn't see a single question mark in your post, or anything resembling a question. Let me assume your question is: should I proceed? Answer: what you do you have to lose? Either it works with her, or it doesn't. You'll have your answer and you can lay your question to rest. She's no different than any other woman, except that you knew what she was like 10 years ago in this case (which incidentally, may not be at all what she's like today). Go for it! Just don't be a stalker in the way you get in touch with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Zeurich Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 you call that girl your ex? you were just one year with her. But how do you know she still with you if she did not move to another state? How you so sure about things? There one thing very certain in this world that is uncertainty. Focus on your life and goals just be your self you might find the right person when the time is right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Just proceed with the knowledge that she's now an adult and she will be a total different person (some things you remember may remain) then when you knew her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I'm not really going to classify a 7th grade crush as a past relationship. Hopefully both of you are now adults. Start with a clean slate but enjoy the fact that you have a shared past. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CadeYeager Posted August 12, 2014 Author Share Posted August 12, 2014 I'm not really going to classify a 7th grade crush as a past relationship. Hopefully both of you are now adults. Start with a clean slate but enjoy the fact that you have a shared past. Yeah, I had some trouble as to how I was going to label the "relationship." How would you recommend opening up a new connection? As stated before, I haven't spoken to her in many years. I know this type of thing doesn't normally so any advice is welcomed. I don't think I'd actually perdure her, but it's fun to think about the possibilities of it. Link to post Share on other sites
JungleLover Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 A 21 year-old is much different than an 11 year-old. This approach won't be much different than approaching a coworker. You were kids when you saw her last and it won't hold much weight as adults. I can't help but to wonder about the motivation of a person randomly reaching back 10 years into their past that traverses their childhood for this but, hey, I have seen much crazier things. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Are you FB friends or on any other social media? Start there. Everybody likes a trip down memory lane. If you can find a way to close the distance before getting together suggest a meet up when you are in the same place. If you are never going to otherwise be in the same place, don't even bother. I initially missed the part where you haven't been in touch over the past decade. Your idea that if her father hadn't relocated that you would still be together is a fantasy. You actually have no idea what kind of a person she turned into but I guarantee she's not your 7th grade memory any more. It's more likely than not that you will be sadly disappointed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CadeYeager Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 I initially missed the part where you haven't been in touch over the past decade. Your idea that if her father hadn't relocated that you would still be together is a fantasy. You actually have no idea what kind of a person she turned into but I guarantee she's not your 7th grade memory any more. It's more likely than not that you will be sadly disappointed. Good points. I dunno, I just would like to believe that things would've turned out well for the both of us. We had no problems, then again, we were only 11 so there aren't many outside factors to worry about at the time. But yes, we are friends on Facebook. From what I see she's turned into a great person. She seems very humble, not a party girl, about to finish college like myself. I'm aware that this isn't a very realistic goal lol. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Do you have any reason to be where she is or can you at least come up with a plausible excuse? Reach out & say -- hey I'm going to be near your city on blah blah long weekend. Can we grab a drink / coffee / dinner Friday night & catch up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CadeYeager Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 Do you have any reason to be where she is or can you at least come up with a plausible excuse? Reach out & say -- hey I'm going to be near your city on blah blah long weekend. Can we grab a drink / coffee / dinner Friday night & catch up? Sure! She occasionally comes back to our hometown to visit one of her best friends. But the only thing with that is that she is there for a friend, so I wouldn't want to impede. But I could possibly just ask her that it's no pressure and if she feels as if she has time on her visit to tall me? She goes to UT and I'm at UGA, so you can see the distance problem. School starts back up for the both of us soon so we'll be stuck in our locations. BTW thanks for the help d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 You're welcome. Since she comes back to visit her friend, throw something out there like Hey, next time you are in town visiting [friend] maybe I can hang out with you guys if I wouldn't be intruding. It'd be fun to see you again. Link to post Share on other sites
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