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Girls, do you lose interest in a guy if he behaves awkwardly?


you_can_not_see_me

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you_can_not_see_me

this question is aimed at women on the board.

 

 

Have you ever found yourself losing interest in a guy who you initially found physically attractive because he acted awkward and or not very confident?

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Yes. If they were young, I'd have maybe put them on the back burner for a few years so they could practice acquiring swag on someone who didn't have such grandiose requirements in that department.

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Themanwithaplan

If she's that shallow to begin with, you deserve better. Being nervous or "awkward" happens to all of us at some point in our lives.

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TigerLilly78
i got a story. hot girl was dating a geek for 7 months who was kind of awkward. she was waiting to have sex which he accepted. one day they were at a bar. i sweet talked her and that night i was screwing her. his awkwardness gave me an opening.

 

Some times I really wish LS would add a "Dislike" icon...

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acrosstheuniverse

It totally depends really, I am fine with people being nervous on the first couple of dates, or behaving awkwardly then. But if someone's permanent character trait is awkwardness then even if he eventually began to get comfortable with me (and I think I would hold out for that with the right person who has the mix of shared interests, chemistry, looks I find appealing) I would worry that it would cause problems for us in the future, being unable to socialise as a couple without him saying something to seriously offend others, embarrass us, not being able to relax on an evening out with others for worrying about how he was coping, ya know? I prefer having a partner who's confident in himself and socially skilled enough for us to be able to go out with either of our friends or families and to be able to hold his own at least enough to make polite conversation and make effort even if they're not charming the whole room.

 

My current boyfriend is a real charmer, he's confident and funny and really intellectual. I love being able to go out with him, somehow he's actually the louder and more dominant one in groups than me, which I've never had before! With my best friend and I new men we take out with us usually can't get a word in edgeways, but he was matching us which was new and extremely attractive. Her new boyfriend is really, really shy and quiet, a little awkward. First time I met him he barely said a word even when I was trying to ask him questions about himself and all that. I remember her saying 'I just wish you all could know the same Dan that I know when we're alone together'.

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No, I think it can be adorable especially if I am attracted to him. I always think when people are a bit nervous its because they care about the impression they are making. Or they are suspicious and hiding something lol.

 

I don't mind if he is lacking in confidence as long as he doesn't run himself down and is not bitter or whiny about it. Honestly I have dated very few who are lacking in confidence though and too much is a turnoff.

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you_can_not_see_me

Girls I am not talking about the guy being awkward and shy on the first meeting, I mean a guy who is consistently nervous or is unable to show his interest properly.

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you_can_not_see_me
If she's that shallow to begin with, you deserve better. Being nervous or "awkward" happens to all of us at some point in our lives.

This isn't a thread about judging people, it doesn't even relate to me necessarily. I am just curious if social awkwardness turns women off enough to cross of a guy they might have found attractive.

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If she's that shallow to begin with, you deserve better. Being nervous or "awkward" happens to all of us at some point in our lives.

 

True, people don't have the patience these days and just so easily write people off for the most minor of behaviors. I would ask why they are behaving in such an awkward fashion though.

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Wel i wouldn't call it "shallow" if someone writes the person off for being standoffish aka their personality doesn't suit

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todreaminblue
Girls I am not talking about the guy being awkward and shy on the first meeting, I mean a guy who is consistently nervous or is unable to show his interest properly.

 

 

if i was dating him i would be patient and do what i do best which is actually initiate conversations and keep them going......i would persevere because the heart of me is extremely awkward and shy and takes a while to feel comfortable enough...... ...i am not however shy all the time.....when i need to step up i do ....i would do that for a guy who was shy.....i feel that effort, compassion and time is all that is needed.....but

 

 

getting a shy guy to make a move first is the hardest thing...knowing if they even like you that way even harder.......or maybe i am forever only able to attract players...... so the guys who ask me out are supremely confident..but mostly players which depresses me a little....i like shy guys........ my heart relates to sensitivity, and those are the guys who dont often make a move.....deb

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Girls I am not talking about the guy being awkward and shy on the first meeting, I mean a guy who is consistently nervous or is unable to show his interest properly.

 

I'm a very confident woman. I've been told I'm fairly alpha & I have always been attracted to men who are more alpha then me so consistently shy, awkward types don't do it for me. I would like to think I'm a nice person & that I give people a chance. I'm likely to shield someone from a bully but if didn't think a man was strong enough to deal with me, it's unlikely I'd give him a chance romantically. I have been told by guys that something I did or said, gave them the courage to ask me out but a man who can't step up to the plate & take charge won't hold my interest for long.

 

When I met my husband one of the things I love about him & I say it over & over again is that he is strong enough to let me be weak. Since I am a control freak for me to find somebody I'm willing to follow was extraordinary.

 

Bear in mind I am way more high maintenance in that respect then a lot of women.

 

If you are struggling to be able to "show your interest properly" & over come shyness you can learn to improve in those areas. It takes practice. If you care to share a specific example, perhaps we can give you pointers.

 

Some basics include making eye contact, being genuinely interested in what the other person has to say, smiling & listening. If you can manage to initiate hand holding or a kiss all the better. It'd unlikely that you are always shy; after meeting someone & becoming comfortable around them you should feel calmer, no?

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One thing I noticed in the responses is that it's about the level of awkwardness that people are willing to tolerate. A normal level or typical first date jitters is acceptable, but if socially awkward, horribly shy guy, I bet money on it, it's a turn off for the majority of women.

 

Guys there are times a girl can't help the way she feels around someone who is awkward or too shy. It would be no different if us ladies give you guys s hit for not giving fat chicks a chance.

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I wouldn't mind an awkward guy. Then again, I'm extremely awkward with pretty serious social anxiety. (Anyone else near-hyperventilate at the thought of making a phone call or talking to someone new? No? Oh...) I feel like I would get along better with a shy guy. I could understand why he acts the way he does and he would understand me.

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Girls I am not talking about the guy being awkward and shy on the first meeting, I mean a guy who is consistently nervous or is unable to show his interest properly.

 

I think a fellow being a bit nervous and awkward at first can be endearing, showing his sincerity. However, if we're talking about dating for months and he never gets any less nervous, despite my consistency in expressing my feelings and eagerness to create a mutually supportive environment... yes, at a certain point that's going to get old. I'd feel he doesn't trust me personally and/or has deep-seated psychological issues with emotional intimacy. Maybe if he was willing to be open about it and work through it, but a relationship partner can't be a therapist.

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you_can_not_see_me

I think the problem with this question and how most posters are answering it is that they/you think about it in imaginary and theoretical way rather than realistic and practical terms. My question isn't whether you would find a decent looking shy guy cute if you were placed in the same room.

 

In the real practical world every decent looking girl has a few guys who are interested in her and I think in that situation most women will give up on the socially awkward guy and go with the more social guy rather quickly. especally if the socially awkward guy start making her feel uncomfortable.

 

That's my take on it personally.

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This is problem I have.

 

I'm pretty alright looking. I'm not socially awkward by any stretch of the imagination but I rarely talk to random people , unless we are already interacting ,( busoness transaction, they started a conversation )

 

 

If that would make a girl run, her loss.

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In the real practical world every decent looking girl has a few guys who are interested in her and I think in that situation most women will give up on the socially awkward guy and go with the more social guy rather quickly. especally if the socially awkward guy start making her feel uncomfortable.

 

You are correct. Very few people are going to try to get to know somebody who's behavior makes them feel uncomfortable.

 

What exactly is it that you think you do that makes others uncomfortable? Again if you give us more concrete examples perhaps LS can hep you stop doing that.

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you_can_not_see_me
You are correct. Very few people are going to try to get to know somebody who's behavior makes them feel uncomfortable.

 

What exactly is it that you think you do that makes others uncomfortable? Again if you give us more concrete examples perhaps LS can hep you stop doing that.

I am not socially awkward in general, I m actually pretty talkative and take the lead in groups quite often.

 

But when it comes to expressing interest in a girl its an entirely different story. I do instinctively fear rejection, so when I go to talk/interact with a girl I find attractive there is always a tug of war between being afraid to show overt interest and actually wanting to pursue the girl and in many cases it leads to things becoming less natural and awkward, sometimes I can even come off like I dislike the girl even though I am really into her.

 

This has lead to a lot of cases where it initially seems like a girl is very interested, but as the weeks and months drag on and

I don't effectively get closer to the girl, she seems to lose interest.

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