Not sure what's happening

[Gavichal]

I have this friend that I've gotten pretty close to lately, and she seemed very interested in something more than friendship. However, in the past couple of weeks, she's gotten a little shy around me and I get tons of mixed signals from her, all the time.

 

We hang out, usually in groups. The first time we hung out, things went great and she definitely seemed interested, but now, she's shy and backed off a little.

We talk most days. Sometimes everyday for a couple weeks, and other times, we'll be silent for a few days. But its generally been good, but again, she's backed off a little via texting too.

 

About a week ago, she was trying to guess who I liked, and she jokingly said herself, I came clean and told her that I liked her a lot, and at first, she was surprised and taken aback, saying she had no idea, etc (even though I've been dropping hints and flirting for a while)...

She changed the subject and started talking about other stuff before she asks me why I like her. I told her why I think she's amazing and she was extremely flattered. She said "Now I don't know how to respond " and was grateful about what I had to say. It was also clear that what I said put her in a very good mood, and her texts perked up and were a lot better.

However, she didn't say how she felt about me...

 

Since then, she's still been talking to me. She texted me for about a week straight and invited me to hang out again, however, I noticed she was a lot shyer and nervous around me, ESPECIALLY when her friends were around (She talked to me okay when we were alone, but she still seemed quieter and nervous).

We didn't speak as much because she was talking to her friend all the time, and she gave me a shy little hug when she left.

 

So, we've still been talking and meeting, but she never brought up me liking her. Sure, its only been about a week and a half, but I thought she should at least tell me where she stands. On top of this, her mixed signals, the sudden interest, and the backing off and getting shy has left me confused. Any ideas or advice from you guys would be appreciated!

[michellew]

If her texts perked up and became more frequent after you confessed your feelings, that is a good sign. Plus she invited you to hang out after. Also a plus.

 

Not sure about the shy part though. :/ When I like a guy, especially if he's really good looking, I get nervous around them as well. However, it is only temporary until I become more comfortable around them.

[smackie9]

Have you officially asked her out on a date??? Tip: girls like a guy to take the lead (confidence), so you better stop questioning it and step it up.

[GemmaUK]

You may have missed the boat but you should ask her for a date. An actual date.

But do it now or you will miss the boat completely.

[Gavichal]

If her texts perked up and became more frequent after you confessed your feelings, that is a good sign. Plus she invited you to hang out after. Also a plus.

 

Not sure about the shy part though. :/ When I like a guy, especially if he's really good looking, I get nervous around them as well. However, it is only temporary until I become more comfortable around them.

 

The opposite kinda happened with her. She seemed comfortable but then became shy and nervous in the past couple of weeks.

But yeah, I took the continuing texting and hang outs as a good sign, especially because people I know have confessed to her in the past, and she'd ignore them from that point onward out of awkwardness.

 

Have you officially asked her out on a date??? Tip: girls like a guy to take the lead (confidence), so you better stop questioning it and step it up.

 

I asked her if she wanted to go to the fair with me next week, and she agreed. Does that count?

I know she's been wanting to go with me for a while, but the last time I asked, she couldn't make it.

 

You may have missed the boat but you should ask her for a date. An actual date.

But do it now or you will miss the boat completely.

 

That's what I'm scared of. Missing the boat.

However, as I mentioned above, we're set to go to the fair together.

[smackie9]

 

 

That's what I'm scared of. Missing the boat.

However, as I mentioned above, we're set to go to the fair together.

 

Did you stipulate that is date and not just hanging out together?

 

And yes asking her to the fair does count.

Edited July 12, 2014 by smackie9

[Gavichal]

Did you stipulate that is date and not just hanging out together?

 

And yes asking her to the fair does count.

 

I didn't call it a date. I just said "Hey! Fair's in town next week, fancy going with me?".

However, she knows I've been wanting a date with her for a while.

[smackie9]

I didn't call it a date. I just said "Hey! Fair's in town next week, fancy going with me?".

However, she knows I've been wanting a date with her for a while.

 

 

Good enough. If things go well ask her out for a more formal date. Best of luck

[Wisecrack]

Two words - Kiss her.

[Gavichal]

Two words - Kiss her.

 

Totally up for this if the opportunity presents itself and things are romantic enough between us.

There's a lake with boats at the park where this fair is. She's wanted to go on a boat ride with me, so if we're there, and it feels right, I'll go for it.

[spiderowl]

I don't get the impression that she dislikes the idea of this moving forward. If she was trying to put you off, I think she'd avoid hugs - anything physical in case it gave you the idea she was interested in you in that way. My feeling is that now she knows you like her as more than a friend, she's wondering when you'll make the next move. I suspect she's nervous about that. It's a big change in a formerly platonic relationship.

 

To check that she is not against this relationship moving forward into romance and all that entails, try making little physical moves to test the waters. Hold out your hand to help her up the stairs, that kind of thing. See how she responds. If she takes it and lets you guide her, then she may be more into you than not. If she backs off and prefers to help herself, then be aware she's turned down a physical contact, however minor.

 

Other things you could do to test her out is to see if she will go on a 'date' with you. Mention going on a date to 'something' and see if she is happy to join you. If she backs off and starts saying she's busy or ill or whatever, it could be she's not happy with the idea of 'dating' you but prefers to see you as a friend.

 

I wish you well with this, it's an exciting time.

Edited July 13, 2014 by spiderowl

[Gavichal]

I don't get the impression that she dislikes the idea of this moving forward. If she was trying to put you off, I think she'd avoid hugs - anything physical in case it gave you the idea she was interested in you in that way. My feeling is that now she knows you like her as more than a friend, she's wondering when you'll make the next move. I suspect she's nervous about that. It's a big change in a formerly platonic relationship.

 

To check that she is not against this relationship moving forward into romance and all that entails, try making little physical moves to test the waters. Hold out your hand to help her up the stairs, that kind of thing. See how she responds. If she takes it and lets you guide her, then she may be more into you than not. If she backs off and prefers to help herself, then be aware she's turned down a physical contact, however minor.

 

Other things you could do to test her out is to see if she will go on a 'date' with you. Mention going on a date to 'something' and see if she is happy to join you. If she backs off and starts saying she's busy or ill or whatever, it could be she's not happy with the idea of 'dating' you but prefers to see you as a friend.

 

I wish you well with this, it's an exciting time.

 

Thank you! I'll definitely try this out when I'm with her next. Hopefully, there's plenty of oppurtunities for this at the fair.

 

I should mention, she's never been adverse to touching me. In fact, she'd initiate a lot of contact before this shy phase.

Sure, she touches me when we speak and she hugs me, but one of the first times we spent time together, before she was shy, she'd play with my hair, give me her hand to help her up, rest her head on my shoulder, walk and sit extremely close to me. That kinda thing.

 

Of course, she's stopped with a lot of that now...

[smackie9]

Thank you! I'll definitely try this out when I'm with her next. Hopefully, there's plenty of oppurtunities for this at the fair.

 

I should mention, she's never been adverse to touching me. In fact, she'd initiate a lot of contact before this shy phase.

Sure, she touches me when we speak and she hugs me, but one of the first times we spent time together, before she was shy, she'd play with my hair, give me her hand to help her up, rest her head on my shoulder, walk and sit extremely close to me. That kinda thing.

 

Of course, she's stopped with a lot of that now...

 

I hope this isn't a case of severe friend zoning....

[Gavichal]

I hope this isn't a case of severe friend zoning....

 

I wouldn't think so. We're friends, but not THAT close. And I was also aware of, and actively tried to avoid the friendzone thing. (It's happened to me before...)

 

Anyway, that particular time we were together, there were a lot less people and it was a lot more intimate. And it was also before a couple of rough patches in her life, so I'd have attributed her attitude change to that.