Bcole Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 When dating and deciding who is worth the effort & time, what are behaviors and signals that somebody is a player? Before they get the chance to play you! Trying to get a little insight from many different points of view. Men and Woman. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 When the guy is really smooth and everything he says and does is "right." Odds are he's had a lot of practice. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Sweet talking, promising you the moon very early on, being too intense at the start. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
sugarlove Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I once dated a guy who was setting off alarm bells in my head. 1. He had 2 phones and I was pretty sure he gave me the one he doesn't carry around as much 2. Took forever to return a text but when he returned it, he never apologise and carry on as per normal 3. say he is friends with ALL his exes 4. Smile too much 5. Very very smooth, words glide off his tongue like honey 6. Eyes darting around the room when he was suppose to be on a date with me 7. Doesn't pay attention to what I say, keep repeating his questions when he had already asked me that last time 8. Looks like he is God gift to women and acts like it 9. Personally, I don't like it when guys uses "honey, baby, gorgeous, sexy" on the first date. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Sweet talking, promising you the moon very early on, being too intense at the start. That makes a guy seem like a player? I had the impression that being intense in the start and talking about the future would make a guy seem desperate and needy. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 When you think every guy you meet is a player you need to stop dating and work on your own issues first. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 - Having more than one phone and appearing to struggle to manage them - Asking you what you are looking for in a guy - he wants to fit your ideal as best he can - Saying he wants you, is only interested in you, and apparently feeling quite intense from the start - Not rushing to have sex but making it clear he's attracted - he's probably got others girls on the go too - Calling off a meet for some reason - child ill, car broke down, called in to work unexpectedly - probably met another girl or wife has insisted he be home for something - You don't really know much about his background, where he lives, whether anything he has told you is true - check him out properly - Until you've met him with his friends or family, you only have his word to go on about his life - Speaking of how other women have hurt him, his ex wife, etc. - he wants you to be sympathetic, to feel drawn to prove him wrong about women - Lots of talk about how he is a hero in his life, a proper man. He might have been in the forces, college, or whatever. He knows this stuff impresses women. - Daring. He's likely to be daring, do a daring job, be confident and relaxed. He knows he can attract women and fool them. He also knows he's got women waiting for a call from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 That makes a guy seem like a player? I had the impression that being intense in the start and talking about the future would make a guy seem desperate and needy. If he's hot and does it, he's a player. If he's average or below, he's desperate. There's no such thing as a female player. Just flakes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sugarlove Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 It could be tips on how to cover your player tracks. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Or how to make women more interested in you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Best answer so far. Most of the stuff women are pointing out isn't player tactics, but guys who wish they were players. If he's really a player, he won't be making any obvious blunders. He will be confident, smooth, and be able to inspire plenty of chemistry. Some women are pointing out things that have attracted them to guys who turned out to be players. Those are the ones I'm paying the most attention to Of course there are many obvious blunders that guys should avoid doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Fascinating. Link to post Share on other sites
mattny Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 I could poke holes in this stuff for days. Too intense from the start? Yeah i do that sometimes. Thats just me. I get excited when i find something new (hobby or person) and i like to spend more time learning about it/her. Calls off a date at the last minute? I called 4hrs ahead once, picked up my car from the shop and the bill was 1200 bucks not 300 (was furious) so that left me wiped out for a week. Not rushing to have sex? But if hes intensely into you doesnt that mean he wants it now? So which is it? I can go either way on that but I prefer to wait.... Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 A woman who is self assured and self aware can usually identify a player by the discerningly ability of discomfort she feels. A player might try a line that he's practiced on a lot of woman. A woman who does not feel she has worth or value might accept player type behavior and his " lines" maybe music to her ears. A woman who is confident and smart might feel a " line" by a player odd, creepy and unacceptable. She might even pull him up on it. By then, the player might then think she's a bitch and call her a bitch to her face or to his friends. I don't attract players and players aren't attracted to me because often they know they can't fool me. One guy I went on a date with asked me after date one to go back to his house for a cuddle. When i said no that's not appropriate as I didn't know him, he told me he was looking for someone skinny to go out with anyway. I guess healthy woman with a healthy BMI didn't do it for him. Or the fact that I had enough confidence to not fall for his charms and insulting me ridiculously was the only thing he could think of to help him cope with his slightly injured ego. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JungleLover Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 I think a lot of these points can be confused with a person who is just very experienced in dating. Someone who has learned a lot from many mistakes in dating over many years could be suspicious for being a player when he is in fact just good at it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 I am a woman who likes players. They give good date. Probably because they have a lot of practice but hey if I get to be the beneficiary I'm OK with that. I also was a female player. Once he got hooked, wanted to get serious, I was outta there. Players are very smooth & everything they do is right. They make a lot of loving promises all of which are designed to make a woman fall into bed. They often dress well, are great dancers, can seemingly whip romance up out of nowhere. It's a heady web they spin. They also have short attention spans. They are flirty but not disrespectful to their date of the moment. Part of it feels too good to be true 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blade96 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 One guy I went on a date with asked me after date one to go back to his house for a cuddle" - I haven't met a player but everything I've heard suggests that you hold off on anything like that, for a time, and the players will haul ass because , well, they're players and want to play. That's how to weed them out. But yeah I think somedude gave the best answer. The guy who does everything right and doesn't really make a mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
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