I've acted needy with a girl friend i really like, and we haven't talked for a week.

[CaZM]

Hey guys and girls

 

 

So, this girl has always been our friend in college for 2 years, but she spent all her time with her boyfriend. Turns out he broke up with her in December. So in our vacations she started to hang out more with us, like to drink, or movies, play video games, or whatever (here in Brazil vacations are in december-february).

 

But we started talking, like everyday, and hanging out with our friends, and around february i started having feelings for her, but i played it cool, because she sometimes talked about her break up, so i thought i should wait until she showed a sign that she was ready for a new relationship.

 

 

She inveted me to some parties, but always with other friends.

One time we went to a party on campus and she drank too much (she almost never drinks) and wasn't feeling well, and she kept saying to me "I'm sorry for being this bad, i don't usually drink", and we sat on a bench with our friends and i put my arm around her shoulder and she rested her head on my shoulder/chest, and hugged me tight, and slept a little bit later, and i took care of her until we left.

 

But there were always mixed signals, i never knew for sure if she liked me as a friend only, or she also had feelings.

 

Finally on valentines day (June 12 here), she invited only me to a party.

 

 

 

I got excited and planned on telling her how i felt. Here things get wierd.

 

 

I bought an Arctic Monkeys t-shirt (she loves them), and made a comic strip with a lot of inside jokes, and at the end i wrote about how important she became to me, and that i really liked her.

 

 

 

The party was lame, so there was no right mood. I gave it to her when we were going home, and left.

 

The next week she started acting weird, and barely talked to me online, but in college she acted normally, but neither she or me mentioned that gift.

 

 

I was going to travel that weekend, so when Friday came, I sent her a Facebook message saying that we didn’t really talk about what happened that day and that I did’t say anything, and she didn’t too, so I didn’t know if she liked the gift, and that I felt she was kind of “away” these last days, and said that I was sorry if that made things awkward.

I tried to be playful and not make a big deal about it.

 

She replied a couple of day later, saying that she was actually waiting for me to talk about it and that she was confused about what I meant, because I wrote “happy valentine’s day”, and that we were just friend, and that she didn’t want me to get things wrong.

 

Then I came back to town, and replied to her. I said that since we are friends, I just wanted to tell her how I felt so things didn’t get awkward later.

I also did tease her a little bit by saying that I said “happy valentines day” because it was valentines day, if it was Earth day, I would say “happy Earth day” or something

 

But then I explained to her that I thought that party would be a good moment to express my feelings, and that I liked her, and that the comic strip was a cool way I found to say that.

Also that our friendship means a lot to me and I don’t want it to be ruined by that.

 

She said, playfully too, that it was cool of me to talk to her about it, and that I didn’t do anything wrong, and that it’s normal to feel nervous about these things and so on.

She didn’t made clear at any point the she wasn’t interested. What you guys think? At this point i guess she would've been pretty clear if she wasn't interested AT ALL.

 

 

Since then, she talked very little with me online, and I started acting needy. I always sent messenges, one after another, about random things, and she took a lot of time to reply.

I started to freak out from inside.

Besides, when she “stopped” talking to me, she started talking to another guy from our class like all the time, and I kept feeling worse, because she didn’t laugh at the same things she laughted with me before, she seemed to have lost some interest, IDK…

 

Then, last Thursday we took the same bus from college, and we barely talked, she seemed a little unconfortable, but the little we did talk she was interested. It was weird.

 

So when I got home, I wrote her on facebook chat that since that thing on Valentine's day I felt we were more distant, and that I miss the way we were earlier this year, I miss our friendship, and that I feel that sometimes I annoy her too much, and that I think we should talk about it sometime. And asked her to let me know when she could talk.

 

And since then, nothing. We don’t talk face to face, or text, or chat, we see each other in class, but only say “hi” and “bye”, and sometimes when we are talking with our friends we talk to each other but short conversations only (she started talking to me in this case).

 

I feel like this week with no contact is good actually. I was acting very needy, and since we stoped talking I’m hanging out with other friends, started doings other things to fill my time, I’m more social, plus there’s that thing that some time away can give a person time to miss another, so overall, I’m OK with it. Even though I can’t take off my mind that feeling that she might be interested in another guy, and that I may never have a chance with her again.

 

My hopes are that after this time with no contact we start talking again and go slow, with me being a "new me", more confident, the guy I was earlier this year.

 

I can’t just move on from this knowing that it was all my fault, and that i screwed things up by being needy for a long time (a long time before the valentine’s day thing).

I want to make things right and go back to being her friend and escalate things slowly and naturally, because I really believe we can make us work.

 

This week will be our last week of class and I’m willing to keep a distance from her until it ends.

 

But I don’t know if I should, or if I should go talk to her, or just start talking normally again, or wait for her to come talk to me, I really don’t know what to do, and how should i act when we start talking again.

 

I just know that I want to set things straight until our vacations start, so we can go out, and do things we planned earlier to do on our break.

 

Sorry for the huge text, but I had to open up and talk about it. I already feel more relieved after writing this. Hope you guys can help me out

 

Thanks!

[kolleamm]

It's simple, you interpreted her friendliness as attraction. I can't tell you how many times I feel for that one. Of course she didn't bring up the note, she wants to pretend like it never happened.

 

It's time to start looking for other girls.