After date time/place are set, how much to do YOU communicate before the actual date?

[drdre]

Generic scenario:

 

You meet someone (online, via friends, whatever) and you go on a first date. You like them, you feel like you've hit it off reasonably well. You then schedule a second date. Now the question is, between the time you set up the 2nd date and the actual date, how much do you text/call? Let's say the date is 7 days away.

 

In one hand, I feel like not texting/calling at all for 6-7 days may come off as lack of interest in my part. In the other hand, I hear often that texting/calling is a way to get them on a date. Once you've got the date, you should just wait and build a relationship there, in person. On top of that, there is the whole "being too eager/needy thing" to consider at the early stages.

 

What do you guys think?

[ebt100]

Me: If they text me, I respond. But I don't usually initiate text conversations. And I don't "call" in general, but that's just me.

 

 

In my experience, though, some people have drastically different expectations on this.

[Sweetnothing]

If I haven't met them in person yet I kinda hang back and let him text me first, but I'd say there's nothing wrong with chatting them up maybe every other day to keep the interest there. You don't wanna overdo it so stick to the basic rules of only sending one text at a time and patiently wait for them to reply until you send another. Don't send anything like "hey what are you doing?" Until you're actually in a relationship. Send them something funny or interesting about every other day. Being flirty via texts helps the dates go smoother I've found.

[drdre]

Btw, Im a guy so I was asking from a guys perspective with the understanding that Im expected to initiate things more often (if not exclusively) in the beginning but I'd love to hear womens take on this as well!

[drdre]

If I haven't met them in person yet I kinda hang back and let him text me first, but I'd say there's nothing wrong with chatting them up maybe every other day to keep the interest there. You don't wanna overdo it so stick to the basic rules of only sending one text at a time and patiently wait for them to reply until you send another. Don't send anything like "hey what are you doing?" Until you're actually in a relationship. Send them something funny or interesting about every other day. Being flirty via texts helps the dates go smoother I've found.

 

Thanks for the reply! What is some of the best flirty/funny texts you've received?

[halfcrazed_i]

I appreciate it when the guy tries to strike up conversations in between dates. Sort of to check in or to say hello. That way, being on the second date doesn't make me feel like I haven't seen him in a week or so (it feels more natural, and conversation tends to flow better this way).

 

Try to check in with her once a day or once every two days. Also to show her that you're really interested in her. And if she becomes comfortable with your routine, maybe she will start initiating the texts.

 

My advice, go for it. I like it when guys do.

[halfcrazed_i]

Thanks for the reply! What is some of the best flirty/funny texts you've received?

 

When my bf and I started dating -- he would forward me some funny articles or photos and he puts messages like "this reminds me of the time we talked about ____"

 

Or he would text "I saw a mint green car just now. I could imagine you judging the person inside it for choosing that color"

 

Stuff like that. Let her know that you're thinking about her -- and that you were listening to her when she was talking to you during your first date.

[Sweetnothing]

Unfortunately all of my dating prospects recently haven't been that great so I can't find any examples of good flirty texts in my inbox, but just basically find ways to sneak into the convo that you think the other person is attractive without going over the top. Girls are a big fan of the "this made me think of you" texts as someone else mentioned. So for instance you could say "hey gorgeous, (band she likes) played on the radio at work just now and it made me think of you"

[bene]

If I have a second date scheduled in 7 days and I don't hear from the guy all that time, I would consider it lack of interest and I would even doubt if he will show up to the date.

 

Some lighthearted communication between dates is not clingy or needy, it is establishing that you are interested in the person. Send some link to an article or some joke about something you talked about, share some youtube song link or just say "hi, how are you doing" - anything simple and harmless just to be on the radar and show that you are interested.

 

Don't worry, being too eager or clingy means talking about marriage after first date or lurking around their house or blowing up their phone with hundred text messages, not keeping up basic communication.

[hasaquestion]

Generic scenario:

 

You meet someone (online, via friends, whatever) and you go on a first date. You like them, you feel like you've hit it off reasonably well. You then schedule a second date. Now the question is, between the time you set up the 2nd date and the actual date, how much do you text/call? Let's say the date is 7 days away.

 

In one hand, I feel like not texting/calling at all for 6-7 days may come off as lack of interest in my part. In the other hand, I hear often that texting/calling is a way to get them on a date. Once you've got the date, you should just wait and build a relationship there, in person. On top of that, there is the whole "being too eager/needy thing" to consider at the early stages.

 

What do you guys think?

 

What happened to you Dre? I thought b****** ain't **** but hoes and tricks.

[drdre]

What happened to you Dre? I thought b****** ain't **** but hoes and tricks.

 

HAHAHAH, awesome.