He's afraid to lose me as a friend, and he just did.

[idek12]

Okay so, this is a very long complicated story, so I'm going to try to condense it as much as possible. So, this guy and I have been best friends forever. I always knew he had a bit of a crush on me, and I know for a fact that he's liked me a few times. I look exactly his dream girl (who's an actress), and he's always said I'm completely different from ever girl he's met. We kissed in 10th grade, but he was too afraid to ask me out. Now it's 11th grade.... He was in a relationship for 8 months with a girl that he really liked, but they had a lot of relationship issues. He's the type of guy that has to have a girlfriend.....

 

Whenever he got into fights with his girlfriend, he would want to talk to me and this other kid who's like his best guy friend, so we'd hang out and he'd complain about her to us. At this time i didn't like him. I would complain about the fact that guys don't ever seem interested in me, and he'd say, " Shut up. You know you're super attractive. Everyone knows it. Any guy would want to date you, you could get anyone you wanted."( Which was nice of him to say, but i wasn't fishing for compliments, I'm not like that, i was just confiding in my friends) While we would hang out as friends he would play with my hair, try to like force feed me (lol, i dont know why), play with my hands, and he'd pick me up and spin me around. He was so sweet, but he had a girlfriend!

 

Eventually they broke up due to obvious reasons. But he did act bitter about it, calling her names and such even though he didn't start the name calling, he participated.He broke it off because he was trying to fix their relationship, but she acted as though she didn't care. They also broke up a week after I told him that I liked him (he asked me who I liked).

 

At first he didn't know what to do. She kept texting him things like, "I can't breathe without you" and weird stuff like that. He ignored it all and thought she was crazy. He then started showing even more of an interest in me, but it was kinda the same as before because before he would say I was a 10/10 and things along those lines. He said that he wanted to wait a while before we actually really dated dated because he didn't want me to be a rebound, and he didn't want to hurt me. Meanwhile, we did hang out and he would kiss me, and he texted his friends these paragraphs about how amazing I was and stuff, and it was nice, but he still occasionally would mention his disgust for his ex to his friends which kinda bothered me honestly. He respected my space also, but then he found out that he needed to have brain surgery! yeah….

 

I was the first to know all the details of the surgery, and I was the one that he opened up to about it at first. Eventually his anxiety got so out of control that he convinced himself that he was going to die. He started pushing me away, and bringing his ex in.... He didn't want to see me, but he didn't mind seeing his ex and hanging out with her!! The 5 minutes I saw him before his surgery I hugged him, and he physically pushed me away....... He said he wanted me as a stress free friend for awhile.... I was hurt, so I texted his best friend. His friend said that he's ambivalent when it comes to me. He switches between "she's perfect, I've never met anyone as amazing as her" to "I can't date her. She's my best friend, I can't lose her if it doesn't work out"... He also told me that he is "leaning towards his ex now", as in he likes her. The night of his surgery, I was a total bitch, but I was hurt, and uninvited him to prom. He said he understood and never wanted to hurt me. I told him, "just take your ex", and he responded with, "she has a date".... YEAH. I refuse to talk to him now.

 

Our mutual teacher said he's been acting weird lately and to give it time. She said he cares about me a lot, but I don't know. She said he's been pushing his good friends away, and he's been acting WAY different and hangs around with kids he never was friends with.

 

Meanwhile he told his ex about me uninviting him to prom, and she spread it around to anyone who would listen. People keep coming up to me and making rude comments. Meanwhile, she's trying to be all buddy buddy with me, and she's trying to get me to confide in her and be friends with him again!!! I'm so confused. This probably doesn't even make sense, I'm so tired. But I appreciate it. I don't know what's going on. I feel like he never cared. Someone please help me sort through this. Thank you so much!!!!

[mummyjonno]

Okay so, this is a very long complicated story, so I'm going to try to condense it as much as possible. So, this guy and I have been best friends forever. I always knew he had a bit of a crush on me, and I know for a fact that he's liked me a few times. I look exactly his dream girl (who's an actress), and he's always said I'm completely different from ever girl he's met. We kissed in 10th grade, but he was too afraid to ask me out. Now it's 11th grade.... He was in a relationship for 8 months with a girl that he really liked, but they had a lot of relationship issues. He's the type of guy that has to have a girlfriend.....

 

Whenever he got into fights with his girlfriend, he would want to talk to me and this other kid who's like his best guy friend, so we'd hang out and he'd complain about her to us. At this time i didn't like him. I would complain about the fact that guys don't ever seem interested in me, and he'd say, " Shut up. You know you're super attractive. Everyone knows it. Any guy would want to date you, you could get anyone you wanted."( Which was nice of him to say, but i wasn't fishing for compliments, I'm not like that, i was just confiding in my friends) While we would hang out as friends he would play with my hair, try to like force feed me (lol, i dont know why), play with my hands, and he'd pick me up and spin me around. He was so sweet, but he had a girlfriend!

 

Eventually they broke up due to obvious reasons. But he did act bitter about it, calling her names and such even though he didn't start the name calling, he participated.He broke it off because he was trying to fix their relationship, but she acted as though she didn't care. They also broke up a week after I told him that I liked him (he asked me who I liked).

 

At first he didn't know what to do. She kept texting him things like, "I can't breathe without you" and weird stuff like that. He ignored it all and thought she was crazy. He then started showing even more of an interest in me, but it was kinda the same as before because before he would say I was a 10/10 and things along those lines. He said that he wanted to wait a while before we actually really dated dated because he didn't want me to be a rebound, and he didn't want to hurt me. Meanwhile, we did hang out and he would kiss me, and he texted his friends these paragraphs about how amazing I was and stuff, and it was nice, but he still occasionally would mention his disgust for his ex to his friends which kinda bothered me honestly. He respected my space also, but then he found out that he needed to have brain surgery! yeah….

 

I was the first to know all the details of the surgery, and I was the one that he opened up to about it at first. Eventually his anxiety got so out of control that he convinced himself that he was going to die. He started pushing me away, and bringing his ex in.... He didn't want to see me, but he didn't mind seeing his ex and hanging out with her!! The 5 minutes I saw him before his surgery I hugged him, and he physically pushed me away....... He said he wanted me as a stress free friend for awhile.... I was hurt, so I texted his best friend. His friend said that he's ambivalent when it comes to me. He switches between "she's perfect, I've never met anyone as amazing as her" to "I can't date her. She's my best friend, I can't lose her if it doesn't work out"... He also told me that he is "leaning towards his ex now", as in he likes her. The night of his surgery, I was a total bitch, but I was hurt, and uninvited him to prom. He said he understood and never wanted to hurt me. I told him, "just take your ex", and he responded with, "she has a date".... YEAH. I refuse to talk to him now.

 

Our mutual teacher said he's been acting weird lately and to give it time. She said he cares about me a lot, but I don't know. She said he's been pushing his good friends away, and he's been acting WAY different and hangs around with kids he never was friends with.

 

Meanwhile he told his ex about me uninviting him to prom, and she spread it around to anyone who would listen. People keep coming up to me and making rude comments. Meanwhile, she's trying to be all buddy buddy with me, and she's trying to get me to confide in her and be friends with him again!!! I'm so confused. This probably doesn't even make sense, I'm so tired. But I appreciate it. I don't know what's going on. I feel like he never cared. Someone please help me sort through this. Thank you so much!!!!

 

 

Ditch the friend and tell his ex to get lost.

 

Far too much drama for someone so young.

[idek12]

I just don't know what was I a rebound? Did he actually like me?

[todreaminblue]

Sometimes friends don't act the way we are used to them acting, they don't say the things they usually would or act totally out of character to the friend you believe that you know.....

 

I am normally spot on with my friends i can tell when they are sad or glad or i can feel how they are feeling and i give them space if they need it......and sometimes they just rock me with confusion about why exactly am i their friend normally this is when they say or do something that really hurts.......and its hard to deal with because i would never do it to them.....

 

ending a friendship is one thing that i would never do ad i have only ever done it once.....which i am recanting and apologising for.... ...as a friend...it means you take the good with the bad times...the tears and the laughs...even if those tears were due to being friends with someone and they caused the tears....if you are a true friend you take the tears,you take a little distance and process the bad and remember the good.You don't drop friends off like luggage you can discard........

 

 

my suggestion take some time, your friend is going through a bad patch.....don't hold a grudge against someone who is unwell and acting differently....you will regret doing so, if something happens to him, it will be too late to say that you miss his friendship, or you think he is sweet and special like you said...if he sucked you wouldnt care.......you wouldn't be writing here.......you are hurt understandably so.......i do know how you feel,

 

the whole things sucks for you and it probably sucks right now for your friend too.....he isnt happy and you know it and neither are you...if he comes back..(and i really do believe true friends if meant to be a true friendship, come back always, no matter the time or place, you cannot keep people apart who are meant to be together, god makes sure......)..what type of friend are you, are you the true friend or a fair weather friend.....your choice ....your friendship..god will do the rest...love all the good and bad, in sickness and in health is fro everyone you truly love and care about, bruises and bumps along the way make you appreciate good times) .....or choose not at all.....i dont think or feel you will be happy to not be in his life at all but it is your choice.....

 

I hope your friend comes back soon, i believe he will, and i believe you want to and will be there for him...best wishes.....deb

[Omei]

Who cares if he liked you, you saw what he was like in a relationship, the name calling and constant complaint of her to friends you wanna replace the girl and be the one hes always crying about? Not saying their troubles are just all him but how he handles it is def not within the privacy or speaking communications with a partner, this is how partners slowly get friends and family to dislike who they're with, You hear bad things about someone often enough you will think they're really that terrible, You wanna be the next so called terrible gf?