ebt100 Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Hello all, I'm just curious... a friend recently told me that "money" is the number one reason for divorce. To cut to the chase: if one person is insanely frugal and the other person isn't, is that an irreconcilable difference that precludes the two people from having a good relationship throughout life? Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 It depends on if the two can compromise or not. But yeah, money and sex are big divorce factors. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 I've heard that the big 3 are sex, money, and family. I think you have to be on the same page with regard to all three of these matters - or easily and happily willing to get on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Probably, the word 'insanely' is instructive, no matter which side of the spending/saving midpoint one falls. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Try to think of it as a difference in values. Certain people value money in their own way. What usually happens in my experience is that people marry and merge their bank accounts. Since they value money differently, a frugal man is slighted when his wife spends his money. Likewise, imagine working and handing over your entire paycheck over to your frugal spouse. There's plenty of room for resentment. I've learned how important it is to maintain a certain level of independence in any relationship. I think creating separate bank accounts is a good idea. The better idea is to search for people with similar values. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TXGuy Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 To cut to the chase: if one person is insanely frugal and the other person isn't, is that an irreconcilable difference that precludes the two people from having a good relationship throughout life? If the other person who 'isn't' is frugal, but not insanely so, it might work. If the other person is even just a bit of a spendthrift (or moreso), then it has little hope. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 It can work if you let the better money manager be in charge of the finances but just make sure that the one who isn't in charge is okay with the way the budget is decided. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 It depends on which part of the spectrum the 'not insanely frugal' person is. Someone who enjoys a nice dinner now and then is 'not insanely frugal', but still very different from someone who spends thousands of dollars a month on entertainment. Also some 'insanely frugal' people are very frugal with their own expenditure but happy to have a partner who is slightly different. Some can even be very generous towards others, just frugal by themselves. Too many factors. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 If the person who isn't insanely frugal allows the other to control finances, it won't be so bad. People that are very careful with money often grew up under difficult circumstances. If the partner can understand and accommodate that, it can probably work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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