Infusion Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 My girlfriend and I have been going out for a little over a year, but now she is living 8 hours away for university. We've agreed to keep our relationship exclusive even though she's going away and might interrupt with our relationship. Before she left, we met, said goodbye, and I gave her a present and a letter which I have written earlier. However, she was also seeing her friend that day (someone who she regards as her best friend). Her friend and I have had a long history of conflicts. Actually, to be precise, she hates me, but I have nothing against her. It all started out as a big misunderstanding, but she never got past that and hates me unconditionally now. Anyhow, she and I have only talked a couple of times, and we both know essentially nothing about each other. Now, she intervenes between my girlfriend and I every now and then. In the past, she has ripped up my prom photo and deleted pictures of me off of my girlfriend's computer. Just a few days ago, she saw the present I gave my girlfriend and decided to throw it out of her car. She then ran over it and the present was completely ruined. Let me add that I never see her anymore, and this was told to me by my girlfriend, and I know she was not lying about it. I asked her if she got mad at her friend for doing that, and she said yes. However, nothing ever seems to matter to her friend because she knows that there are no consequences for doing what she did; maybe my gf getting angry for a little while, but everything is fine after that. Now, my girlfriend has very few friends, but all her friends are great friends to her. This is even more true because she does not get along with her parents (they are foster parents), and it was because of the arguments between her and her parents that made her want to go far away for university. I understand that her friends mean alot to her, but I cannot pretend nothing happened every time. What if the next present I give her is one of a kind? How can I afford to have her friend just throw away something like that? I have complained to my girlfriend about these past incidents, but every time I talk about her friend in a bad way, she would not say anything and would try to ignore my comments. As well, her friend always suggested her to break up with me. My girlfriend never listened to her though, but instead tells her that I am just a friend to stop hearing her friend's pestering comments. I know for sure that she is only saying that to her friend for that very reason, since she tells me about eveyrthing all the time, and there had been times when I was there with my girlfriend when her friend called. From their conversation I could tell that she is trying to make it seem as though I wasn't there with her. I want to suggest to my girlfriend that she shouldn't talk to her friend any longer because I cannot stand her, everything her friend does makes me feel so angry. However, I dont know if that is such a good idea, taking into consideration that my girlfriend and I are not going to be seeing each other for a while, as well as the fact that her friends mean a lot to her. I dont want to be selfish, but there has got to be a solution to this problem. Can anyone help? Link to post Share on other sites
cdn23 Posted September 9, 2004 Share Posted September 9, 2004 well, i got a friend w/ the same situation and the only thing he did was tell his gf to choose between him and her ex-best friend who was really a bitch! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infusion Posted September 9, 2004 Author Share Posted September 9, 2004 what happened in the end? did she leave her friend for him? Link to post Share on other sites
cdn23 Posted September 12, 2004 Share Posted September 12, 2004 yeah she did.... the only thing she says to her ex-friend is hi.,,, nothing else, i know that cuz im her new best friend... but u know?! if she really likes u shell do the same thing.... and for example i would let a girl do this to my bfs gift or talk **** about him and stuff!!! this is not called a friend! i thik she is jealous of ur gf with u..... maybe before they had more time to hang and stuff...... whatever..... but i got a question........ what did u first do to her? y did she get mad at u?! in my best friends case her x-friend used to talk **** about her boyfriend just because the guy she liked didnt like my friend boy..... welll, it a long story, but I AM hella friends w/ both of them now.... my best friend and her boy... i hv hella fun together Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infusion Posted September 14, 2004 Author Share Posted September 14, 2004 Nothing really, she basically misinterpretted the situation when my gf and I got in a fight one time. Even my gf admiited that it was her fault the fight occurred. My gf was talking to her at the time and she told my gf that it shouldn't matter how I feel- that it should only matter how my gf feels. Because my gf felt bad about what happened, her friend blamed the whole fault on me even though it was't my fault we had a fight. That night my gf just left her and didn't talk to her until a while later. However, the thing is, my gf told me she'll leave her friend only if her friend asks her to stop seeing me, or if their friendship is conditional on that. She also said that if I asked her to leave her friend, then she wont, and instead she'll leave me. Is this normal from a gf who loves you? Is there something wrong with this logic? Link to post Share on other sites
cdn23 Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 well, iono, sometimes it depends what kinda friend this one is........ if she really helps or hv fun w ur girl... if theyre friends since kids, u know.... ur girl might not wanna separate from her... but yeah/// its hard to know..... anyways one thing i can say: ur girl should defend u when this girls talks **** about u.... she cant just let the girl do whateer she thinks she can Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infusion Posted September 15, 2004 Author Share Posted September 15, 2004 Yeah, she tells me that she always defends me when her friends talk badly about me, but I probably cant see her go as far as leaving her friends for me. I guess it's very unfair, her friends don't even know me and they make presumptions about me based on things my gf talks to them about. On the other hand, I never tell my gf how much I hate her friends (for treating me like dirt even though they don't know me), but they still continue to talk about me derrogatively. I found it very insulting. Link to post Share on other sites
cdn23 Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 how old r u? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infusion Posted September 16, 2004 Author Share Posted September 16, 2004 I'm 19 and my girlfriend is 18, if you meant that literally Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 This doesnt sound good I'm afraid especially since its a ldr now. She should be defending you and not tolerating that crap from a so called friend. Link to post Share on other sites
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