Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 My girlfriend is being a pain. She is so paranoid that I am going to see my friend who she is having a fight with that she makes me send her messages when I arrive or leave any location. It is really becoming annoying and causing issues. What can I do to stop her from doing this? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) My girlfriend is being a pain. She is so paranoid that I am going to see my friend who she is having a fight with that she makes me send her messages when I arrive or leave any location. It is really becoming annoying and causing issues. What can I do to stop her from doing this? "I'm not checking in with you at every moment. You are my girlfriend, not my mother. Don't like it? Bye." You are a MAN. Supposedly. Act like one. Dude, this relationship had disaster written all over it. I know you prefer sex with a real womandas opposed to masturbation, but at what cost? Your dignity? That's too high a price to pay. Edited April 4, 2014 by pickflicker 3 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 This again.... Dude your relationship has more red flags than communist China. It's not worth the trouble anymore she's a brat. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 I appreciate what you guys are saying, but a hot girl like this is difficult for most guys to get. She also has a very sweet side, I guess you wouldn't Know it because you have only heard the negatives, but I can really see us together long term. Of course we are having issues but I would prefer to resolve the issues rather than splitting. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Do share the good side, tell me what are her qualities. Don't tell me how hot she is because I know that. Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) Well, it's your funeral. Do you knew when it's normal to "check in" with someone? When it's 3am, you're pissed, and catching the train home alone. That's what me and my gf's do. . You're willing to let this girl treat you like crap, because she's hot. Wow. There's a recipe for eternal happiness. Edited April 4, 2014 by pickflicker Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I appreciate what you guys are saying, but a hot girl like this is difficult for most guys to get. Ugh. By putting up with this, you're giving her the message that it's okay for her to do what she wants, because she's hot. Her behavior won't magically change. She knows she can get away with it. So do you want things to change, or are you just gonna sit back and let her behave how she wants? Because if you are gonna let her keep acting like this, there's literally no advice anyone can give you that's gonna help. You gotta decide for yourself whether you are okay with putting up with crap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 Do share the good side, tell me what are her qualities. Don't tell me how hot she is because I know that. There are a lot She has a great way with people, she is very kind... I'll give you an example... when we were just friends my parents had to put down our cat as he wasn't doing well And getting old. It was a very sad event. She gave me such a big hug and kissed me on the head. She is also the first to offer to help someone if they need help. She helped me when I first moved into my apartment. Recently when a friend of ours was depressed she made me call him and organise an event with him. She is very caring. She remembers everything that I like and buys very thoughtful gifts etc. Since we started dating she also sends me the sweetest messages, always says she loves me and is just generally very affectionate. She is just a lovely person personality wise. How can I even think of dumping someone like that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Since this is the dudes 1st GF, and he lost his virginity to her, there is no chance in hell he is going to walk away. Medium.Lumo You need to tell her something that says you acknowledge her hurt or whatever but you are you're own person and you aren't going to check in to her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Since this is the dudes 1st GF, and he lost his virginity to her, there is no chance in hell he is going to walk away. Medium.Lumo You need to tell her something that says you acknowledge her hurt or whatever but you are you're own person and you aren't going to check in to her. I really really don't wish to see him in the break up section as a dumpee that's all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 She gave me such a big hug and kissed me on the head. Recently when a friend of ours was depressed she made me call him and organise an event with him. She is very caring. ? I just don't get it. She's amazing because she hugged you. Really?? That's it? A friend was depressed and she made YOU call him. She didn't do that herself. She made you do it... Why are you crediting her for something YOU did. You're the one that put the effort in... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I really really don't wish to see him in the break up section as a dumpee that's all. Of course. But that's not really worse than walking away from her right now. He needs to learn how to stand his ground without threatening to end the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) OP, it's simple. The next time you're going out without her, tell her once, where you'll be, before leaving. Then turn off your phone. Any person with a basic moral compass, would do what she does. Those people are everywhere. Edited April 4, 2014 by pickflicker 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 My girlfriend is being a pain. She is so paranoid that I am going to see my friend who she is having a fight with that she makes me send her messages when I arrive or leave any location. It is really becoming annoying and causing issues. What can I do to stop her from doing this? Hm, I dono, talk to her about it? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 OP, it's simple. The next time you're going out without her, tell her once, where you'll be, before leaving. Then turn off your phone. Any person with a basic moral compass, would do what she does. Those people are everywhere. I want to clarify, I meant the supposed "nice" things she does for you. It's not special behaviour. The checking up on you, that's what your mum does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 I just don't get it. She's amazing because she hugged you. Really?? That's it? It was a sweet gesture. You had to be there. A friend was depressed and she made YOU call him. She didn't do that herself. She made you do it... Why are you crediting her for something YOU did. You're the one that put the effort in... Well he was having gf issues so a girl calling him wouldn't have been appropriate... even though they are friends it was a sensitive time. Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I just don't get it. She's amazing because she hugged you. Really?? That's it? A friend was depressed and she made YOU call him. She didn't do that herself. She made you do it... Why are you crediting her for something YOU did. You're the one that put the effort in... +1 she sounds clingy and controlling. No amount of hotness should ever make you someone's "pet" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 +1 she sounds clingy and controlling. No amount of hotness should ever make you someone's "pet" I'm not sure what you mean by this. Hot girls don't need to be clingy! How do you define "clingy"? Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I'm not sure what you mean by this. Hot girls don't need to be clingy! How do you define "clingy"? Clingy - always checking up on you and making you report back... That is clingy and controlling. No one on this planet should report to anyone. Be they hot or not. No amount of hotness is worth that. Bit clearer? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I'm not sure what you mean by this. Hot girls don't need to be clingy! How do you define "clingy"? The "hot" ones tend to be the ones lacking in the most confidence. Hence, the clingyness. Not me though. I'm gorgeous and confident 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 Clingy - always checking up on you and making you report back... That is clingy and controlling. No one on this planet should report to anyone. Be they hot or not. No amount of hotness is worth that. Bit clearer? Yes. Thanks. I have to admit I don't like reporting to her like this, but until I think of a way to stop it I can't do much about it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 The "hot" ones tend to be the ones lacking in the most confidence. Hence, the clingyness. Not me though. I'm gorgeous and confident Why do you think this? According to threads on LS hot women have more confidence than other women and it's the guys that are too afraid to approach because of their hotness. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Simple. Explain why her behaviour is inappropriate. Tell her one time where you're going. Then, stop checking in with her. If she loses her mind, that is her problem. Not yours. What she's doing is controlling and unacceptable, in my opinion. I wouldn't tolerate that for a second. Only you can decide if you like that in your relationship. Why does she get so bent out of shape about this particular friend, anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Yes. Thanks. I have to admit I don't like reporting to her like this, but until I think of a way to stop it I can't do much about it... The way to stop it is to tell her you won't do it anymore it's that simple. If she gets upset or hurt that's her issue not yours. You aren't a convict you are her lover.. Your lady needs a reminder of this Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Yes. Thanks. I have to admit I don't like reporting to her like this, but until I think of a way to stop it I can't do much about it... Oh, come on now. Of course you can! You can take your backbone out of her hands and tell her to grow up. By checking with her like she's your warden and mommy, you're telling her it's ok. If you go along with it, you can't really complain about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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