20 Year Old girl with 16 year old guy

[Freewill]

Okay so basically I was checking out this guy, and he was checking me out. So I approached him and started talking with him. Turns out he's 16 and I'm 20. We could just be friends but this could turn into something more, and I was wondering if this is wrong.

 

I'm attracted to him, but at the same time I think back to when I was 16. All I wanted was to enjoy life with my friends and I want him to do the same too.

 

I've only had 1 short conversation with him, so should I wait until I get to know him better before i start to freak out abt this?

[kaylan]

Realize that 4 years at your ages is a pretty decent gap in terms of life experience and dating. I think Romeo and Juliet laws might work in your favor depending on the state, but Im not sure. Id personally say be friends and wait until he is 17 at least.

 

Where are you from anyways? If 16 is the age of majority where you live, Id say go for it and have fun.

Edited March 24, 2014 by kaylan

[Noproblem]

He's 16, it's illegal.

 

Sucks to find the only guy you clicked with turned out to be a minor..

 

I feel you, but don't invest in him.. He's still so young ...... Let him be.

 

Or you'll end up hurt emotionally and directly when a stranger find out; this really could get you in trouble.

[Freewill]

He's 16, it's illegal.

 

Sucks to find the only guy you clicked with turned out to be a minor..

 

I feel you, but don't invest in him.. He's still so young ...... Let him be.

 

Or you'll end up hurt emotionally and directly when a stranger find out; this really could get you in trouble.

 

I live in Canada where the legal age is 16. But I agree he is young, it's just that I'm basing it on his age. I don't know him as a person so I don't know what he's like. I don't know his maturity. Like I know this one guy who is 18 and he is way more mature than me.

 

I can't believe I just answered my own question.

[limbophase]

I'm curious as to how you meet a 16 year old? Aren't there places to meet guys who are around the same age as you? Nothing good can come from dating a minor (no matter how interesting he is or how much you to clicked).

[Shooter]

I don't think 4 years if very illegal, if its illegal at all. And basically it won't be a big deal if you do decide to date him. Someone would have to report you (like a mad parent) but most parents wont care if its their son dating a 20 year old girl. Only if it was their daughter.

 

I don't think its the legality you should be worried about. Its the difference in maturity levels that should be hindering you. I'm 20 now. And i've grown a ton and went through a lot of life changing experiences that I hadn't at 16. I'm a completely different person. More level headed and more experienced in how to prioritize and really live my life to the best of my ability.

 

At 16 I thought I knew everything and didn't know crap. Just remember that. Confidence =/= knowledge or life experience. So if you do end up dating this guy keep his age in mind. You kinda sound like an impressionable girl and I can see you being the type to hold your boyfriends in very high regard. But what he says isn't law no matter how confidently he says it lol. Hes only a kid after all.

 

And really look at WHY you want to date this 16 year old. Is it because you don't get asked out a lot and you feel he is more attractive then the guys your age who want to date you? If looks are your main reason for wanting to date this guy then save yourself the heartbreak. He will most likely dump you once he gets old enough to start partying with college girls.

 

If you are honest with yourself and find that you really just like him for him? I see no problem with it. Age is just a number. And as far as sexuality goes i think that 16 year old boys are at a stage where they can make informed decisions.

 

But be honest with yourself. Don't continue a relationship out of desperation for a good looking boy. If you don't mesh well see the signs and end it before you both get emotionally damaged. And please, please, please don't let him use you for cash. Lot of my friends used to do this type of thing when I was a youth. Go hit on older ladies at the mall in hopes of scoring some free clothes.

[kaylan]

I'm curious as to how you meet a 16 year old? Aren't there places to meet guys who are around the same age as you? Nothing good can come from dating a minor (no matter how interesting he is or how much you to clicked).

It happens ALL the time. When I was in highschool my group of friends was always within 1 to 4 years of each other. Yes upperclassmen made friends with underclassmen. Thats how these things happen. Or you meet the siblings of your friends who are around the same age. I dont think 16 and 20 is that big of a deal, though there will be differences.

 

I say OP should go for it if she likes him enough. Or maybe wait still hes 17 and stay friends for now if shes feeling weird about him being 16.

[ExpatInItaly]

I wouldn't bother with this one, OP. You're legally an adult; he, by definition, is still a child. (And yes, I am from Canada too. While he is considered to be the age of consent....He isn't legally an adult yet)

 

At your ages, 4 years is significant in my opinion. He is very young and will probably want to party and hang out with his friends; he can't accompany you to a bar or club for a night out. I think you'd likely want something more serious while he probably won't for a while yet. I think you're in two different stages and it will create obstacles.

[limbophase]

It happens ALL the time. When I was in highschool my group of friends was always within 1 to 4 years of each other. Yes upperclassmen made friends with underclassmen. Thats how these things happen. Or you meet the siblings of your friends who are around the same age. I dont think 16 and 20 is that big of a deal, though there will be differences.

 

I guess that makes sense. All I know is that if I were 16 again and a sexy 20 year old woman came on to me, I'd date her in a heartbeat.

 

To the OP, I say just let it go too. In one more year, you'll be 21 and able to try bars, clubs, etc. You'll meet a whole bunch of guys who will flirt with you left and right and wonder, "why am I dating a kid who has homework tonight?" You'll be more of a babysitter rather than a girlfriend.

[d0nnivain]

Leave him be until he turns at least 18.

 

I don't see a lot of potential for this to work now because for the next several years you two will be in different life places.

[Stay]

There's no way you're running out of guys. It might not seem like such a big gap but when you're 21 and he's only 17 you're going into a whole different part of yourself he won't understand at all. You'll enjoy other things that he won't get, etc.

[shvrk]

I don't think a 16 year old boy is mature enough to be with a 20 year old. I'm 19 and my cousin is 15 & his friends are 16... I just can't see myself being in a relationship with em...

 

Then again I've been dating guys 25-35 lately so that may be why... who knows...

[Armegoggon]

There's a lot of gap from 16 to 20. Think about it, from the day you turned 16 to today, how much has changed for you. If you can think about a lot of things then this age difference is not suited for you.

 

I highly suggest that you just be friends, nothing more. Hopefully when he is around 19 or so, the age difference would stabilize.

 

The reason behind this is because when you're 16 you're a high school student. At 20, you're at least close to finishing college or university. However, when you're 19, you're at least in the early days of adulthood and doing post-secondary. Well after graduation it shouldn't be too much maturity difference. Another thing is dealing with the adult border. Of course a 28 year old dating a 24 year old is little to no difference.

 

Well hope that helps a little.