How do your FWB arrangements work?

[kaylan]

Just curious to see how others handle this. How do your friends with benefits arrangements work if youve ever had them or intend to have one?

 

Because of STD risks and pregnancy risks, Ive always only been sexual with one woman at a time. Despite using condoms, STDs and pregnancy are always a risk, so I choose to minimize that risk by not getting around. And usually the topic comes up and the women are on the same page as I am. Theres no commitment, but its usually known that if we are to get sexual with someone else, we cut things off with each other.

 

Plus one woman is generally all my schedule would ever allow for anyways

 

So what about the rest of you?

[Tayken]

Just curious to see how others handle this. How do your friends with benefits arrangements work if youve ever had them or intend to have one?

 

Because of STD risks and pregnancy risks, Ive always only been sexual with one woman at a time. Despite using condoms, STDs and pregnancy are always a risk, so I choose to minimize that risk by not getting around. And usually the topic comes up and the women are on the same page as I am. Theres no commitment, but its usually known that if we are to get sexual with someone else, we cut things off with each other.

 

Plus one woman is generally all my schedule would ever allow for anyways

 

So what about the rest of you?

 

Am not sure I understand what you are asking here? But for me, the chances of "pregnancy by someone" is zero as my Urologist just called me on Thursday to tell me that the Vasectomy was a success base don the latest semen sample provided.

 

It's not like am going to go round telling women this, so if someone has a hidden agenda, they are going to be disappointed. I recently dumped one FWB because she had a "friend" come stay with her for a week. She didn't tell me and all she could say when I found out was that....I could have just said it was a female friend.

 

So you can see that with that said....I didn't feel like I wanted to be in some 3 way nonsense.

[Leigh 87]

The only fwb that I was ever into and I would ever consider again was with a guy who I liked enough to date yet couldn't for reasons.

 

 

 

We liked each other enough to date. We just didn't (for legit reasons. It was just after Andrew and he also had a girl he only just separated from and was still stewing over what to do with her).

 

It was particularly good that we were both very attracted to each other. Had great sexual chemistry.

 

He initiated contact every day. I helped him out when his good friend died.

 

The key thing for me is to find guys who like and respect me..... I cannot bring self to open my legs for a guy who just isn't into me in the slightest and doesn't consider me worthy of dating.

 

I think that is important personally. ..... to not choose women who you consider below your league or just not "good enough" to date yet could for sex and a little company.

 

 

 

This method worked for me. Other methods didn't.

 

 

 

 

Oh. We didn't get tested prior to our arrangement. I did get tested after though.

Edited March 23, 2014 by Leigh 87

[Tayken]

The only fwb that I was ever into and I would ever consider again was with a guy who I liked enough to date yet couldn't for reasons.

 

 

 

We liked each other enough to date. We just didn't (for legit reasons. It was just after Andrew and he also had a girl he only just separated from and was still stewing over what to do with her).

 

It was particularly good that we were both very attracted to each other. Had great sexual chemistry.

 

He initiated contact every day. I helped him out when his good friend died.

 

The key thing for me is to find guys who like and respect me..... I cannot bring self to open my legs for a guy who just isn't into me in the slightest and doesn't consider me worthy of dating.

 

I think that is important personally. ..... to not choose women who you consider below your league or just not "good enough" to date yet could for sex and a little company.

 

 

 

This method worked for me. Other methods didn't.

 

 

 

 

Oh. We didn't get tested prior to our arrangement. I did get tested after though.

 

Well said...I can hug you right now Though you and I don't usually see eye 2 eye.....must have something to do with you being a Kiwi

[Gaeta]

My fwb was a man that I previously dated for 1 year. We were great together but he could not commit. We turned our relationship into a fwb in which the friend part was very important. We spoke each day, he'd help me out with things, I'd assist him in his dilemmas. We know everything about each other. While we were fwb it was clear we were not having sex with other people. When I met my boyfriend my fwb and I stopped the benefits, it was understood it would be like that as soon as I'd meet someone.

[Leigh 87]

Well said...I can hug you right now Though you and I don't usually see eye 2 eye.....must have something to do with you being a Kiwi

 

 

 

I'm from Tasmania. Proud Aussie here never been to new Zealand. Yet.

[Leigh 87]

My fwb was a man that I previously dated for 1 year. We were great together but he could not commit. We turned our relationship into a fwb in which the friend part was very important. We spoke each day, he'd help me out with things, I'd assist him in his dilemmas. We know everything about each other. While we were fwb it was clear we were not having sex with other people. When I met my boyfriend my fwb and I stopped the benefits, it was understood it would be like that as soon as I'd meet someone.

 

 

 

 

That also sounds ideal. I wish I had just done that with my ex all along as we weren't a romantic match yet he was so much fun to hang out with. I sadly developed too much emotions in him though for me to have been cool with him meeting a girl he did like enough to commit to.

[georgecostanza]

I'm seeing someone now but when I've had FWB:

 

I don't ask and neither do they. I call them up if and when I want to see them and they'll make time for me. A drink and a little chat first, a cigarette after, never stay the night. Always used condoms. Ended the arrangements when they wanted more than I could give.

[Gaeta]

That also sounds ideal. I wish I had just done that with my ex all along as we weren't a romantic match yet he was so much fun to hang out with. I sadly developed too much emotions in him though for me to have been cool with him meeting a girl he did like enough to commit to.

It's a big risk. When I met someone my fwb had a hard time letting go. He would call regularly for 4-5 months asking if I was still in love with the new dude.

[Leigh 87]

It's a big risk. When I met someone my fwb had a hard time letting go. He would call regularly for 4-5 months asking if I was still in love with the new dude.

 

 

 

FWB can always lead to slightly hurt feelings even when you do it right.

 

I didn't think my FWB would care since he was successful and very sought after my women. Like come on he can get hotter gals than me.

 

Yet when I found a guy who WAS available to me he was like " oh gee I just felt I was sort of flavour of the month" since I moved on from him so fast.

 

Truth is, we got slightly attached albeit not enough to make a big deal of, it didn't hurt his feelings that much.

 

I still helped him when his best friend died, the day of the funeral I saw him and slept in his bed with him the night prior.

 

Never underestimate the level of care you can feel for a mere FWB.

 

He was a nice guy and I really like him as a person, I would date him in a heartbeat if we both met when we were available and our heads were clear.

 

He had actually met a girl overseas, which is where I met him... He had a tour, met a girl, spent the month with her daily yet lived at too far away to see each other often when they concluded the tour and flew back to Australia.

 

So after his trip he and I agreed to see one another since he was still obviously unsure as to what to do with that girl and I was fresh out of a break up.

 

We loved the company and the sex was great but yeah, we were sad for it to end but not THAT sad, if you catch my drift.