Another question for the women

[hpjunke]

I wanna say i can get lost here for hours reading... as other forums i learned a lot about general questions .. i have even posted a few things and got some great info however I'm a 34 year old male who as people say have "a lot going for me" . I have managed to buy my own home , i have a car hobby and own a few old cars and landed a great job 5 years ago working for a baseball team where i live . Most women i have encountered all same the same thing that i have a big heart and deserve way better then this current girl i struggle with at this point i have to let her go (but that's another long story)

 

Now my question is how important is having these qualities to a women at our age ?

 

Do you women see and take that into consideration?

 

If its more or less that what you have how does that make you feel?

[David87]

I'm not a woman. The thing is women are impressed by material possessions like a nice car ( cars) nice house good job but those are materialistic girls. If I were you I'd would try to find a woman who doesnt know that i'm rich. A woman who likes me for who I am not for what car I drive or for the amount of dollars in my account...

 

Of course being rich has plenty of advantages but if you're looking for a girl to settle down with.... it's tricky.

 

My success with women comes from the fact that I have a good life to and that got me single. I only attract the party kind of girl and it's sad. I know that other women from LS will disagree with me and will tel you that it's important to them( not all of them) that the man they date has a house, a job a car, a good life but where are those days when the princess falls in love with the poor man from the street? Wheres Rose and Jack?????

[OhThatGirl]

Those things are important. But the bigger question is.. Why are you asking if you already have them? It's one thing if you don't and you're trying to see if it will affect your ability to date. It's another thing to ask how important the things you already have are to potential dates. Are you going to use them as leverage in dating? If so, that's a mistake.

 

By 34 I expect men I date to have a good fulfilling job, a car, a home (though depending on the metropolitan area him owning it isn't a big deal.. In SoCal it's expensive and many people with their act together still rent)

 

I expect these things because at 34 you're an adult anyway you look at it. I'm an adult, not quite yet 30, and I have these things so I expect future partners to have them too. It doesn't mean you have the upper hand or some special feature to draw in women, it just means you're on target with your age group.

 

Unlike the other poster I'd say it has nothing to do with "being rich" and rather just speaks to the fact you make smart choices, have stable employment, and are a functioning member of society. These are essentially "must haves" to some women.. Like myself.

 

Now if you flaunt money, spend it frivolously, make it a defining feature of who you are (uh, like anyone who describes themselves as "rich") then yes, you are going to attract party girls who are impressed with money that easily flows from the hands of a man.

 

Do yourself a favor. Recognize that girls who have their act together themselves will not see a job, a home, a car, expensive hobbies as a really impressive thing. Instead find the girl that finds this to be standard for the men she is willing to get involved in.

 

It's the difference between girls and women.

[OhThatGirl]

I know that other women from LS will disagree with me and will tel you that it's important to them( not all of them) that the man they date has a house, a job a car, a good life but where are those days when the princess falls in love with the poor man from the street? Wheres Rose and Jack?????

 

Yes, it's important that the men we date are employed and have obtained the minimum necessary requirements for adulthood. There's no question about that.

 

Just as easily I could have said "where are those days I'm a hooker in LA and get picked up by an incredibly handsome owner of a large successful company that sends me shopping on Rodeo Drive, falls in love with me, rescues me from the mean street life of prostitutes, and lives happily ever after with me? Where's Vivian and whatever Richard Gere's character was named?"

 

See my point? Dream on.

[David87]

Yes, it's important that the men we date are employed and have obtained the minimum necessary requirements for adulthood. There's no question about that.

 

Just as easily I could have said "where are those days I'm a hooker in LA and get picked up by an incredibly handsome owner of a large successful company that sends me shopping on Rodeo Drive, falls in love with me, rescues me from the mean street life of prostitutes, and lives happily ever after with me? Where's Vivian and whatever Richard Gere's character was named?"

 

See my point? Dream on.

 

I'm not dreaming at all, just gave the op my sincere oppinion on this matter.

 

Of course it's importaint to have those things, but it would be nice if one day you see someone and fall in love with him without seeing his resume..

 

Got my point? I'm only talking about love and falling in love, not about dating who by the way got worse than a job interview these days..

[ExpatInItaly]

I'm not a woman. The thing is women are impressed by material possessions like a nice car ( cars) nice house good job but those are materialistic girls. If I were you I'd would try to find a woman who doesnt know that i'm rich. A woman who likes me for who I am not for what car I drive or for the amount of dollars in my account...

 

Of course being rich has plenty of advantages but if you're looking for a girl to settle down with.... it's tricky.

 

My success with women comes from the fact that I have a good life to and that got me single. I only attract the party kind of girl and it's sad. I know that other women from LS will disagree with me and will tel you that it's important to them( not all of them) that the man they date has a house, a job a car, a good life but where are those days when the princess falls in love with the poor man from the street? Wheres Rose and Jack?????

 

This is the problem. You're attracting the wrong kind of girl. I am a woman about the same age as the OP. I think what I look for a in a man is a sense of stability and security, which doesn't necessarily amount to a house/car. There are plenty of un-dateable men who have those things too. Having a stable job is important, though. To me that indicates a solid work ethic and responsibility, which are important in a mate. What the job is doesn't necessarily matter to me. I don't care if your hobby is old cars or painting ceramics. Just be who you are, be a dynamic and engaging person. Have a sense of humility. That, to me, makes an attractive man.

[hpjunke]

Those things are important. But the bigger question is.. Why are you asking if you already have them? It's one thing if you don't and you're trying to see if it will affect your ability to date. It's another thing to ask how important the things you already have are to potential dates. Are you going to use them as leverage in dating? If so, that's a mistake.

 

By 34 I expect men I date to have a good fulfilling job, a car, a home (though depending on the metropolitan area him owning it isn't a big deal.. In SoCal it's expensive and many people with their act together still rent)

 

I expect these things because at 34 you're an adult anyway you look at it. I'm an adult, not quite yet 30, and I have these things so I expect future partners to have them too. It doesn't mean you have the upper hand or some special feature to draw in women, it just means you're on target with your age group.

 

Unlike the other poster I'd say it has nothing to do with "being rich" and rather just speaks to the fact you make smart choices, have stable employment, and are a functioning member of society. These are essentially "must haves" to some women.. Like myself.

 

Now if you flaunt money, spend it frivolously, make it a defining feature of who you are (uh, like anyone who describes themselves as "rich") then yes, you are going to attract party girls who are impressed with money that easily flows from the hands of a man.

 

Do yourself a favor. Recognize that girls who have their act together themselves will not see a job, a home, a car, expensive hobbies as a really impressive thing. Instead find the girl that finds this to be standard for the men she is willing to get involved in.

 

It's the difference between girls and women.

 

 

Im not at all flaunting what i have here i was just asking in your opinion becaise when a girl has a home of her own , a good job and is consistent that's what attracts me to them so i wanted to know if its the same for the female side . My dad always says im a rare breed because the road i choose to work hard and accomplish these things all on my own however i don't see what i have done i look at it as its just who i am and how im wired . Everyone says that i should look at these things and make the best of it . I left 80% of my childhood friends because they are still doing the same thing drinking a beer on the corner and its something i didn't wanna do. Seems everyone of my guy friends doesn't have there stuff together im a pretty humble person because i know what it is to set goals and achieve them.

[OhThatGirl]

Im not at all flaunting what i have here i was just asking in your opinion becaise when a girl has a home of her own , a good job and is consistent that's what attracts me to them so i wanted to know if its the same for the female side . My dad always says im a rare breed because the road i choose to work hard and accomplish these things all on my own however i don't see what i have done i look at it as its just who i am and how im wired . Everyone says that i should look at these things and make the best of it . I left 80% of my childhood friends because they are still doing the same thing drinking a beer on the corner and its something i didn't wanna do. Seems everyone of my guy friends doesn't have there stuff together im a pretty humble person because i know what it is to set goals and achieve them.

 

You're not the exception to the rule or a rare breed; your beer drinking, bumming around, friends are the outliers. Good you chose a different path for yourself and appreciate hard work. All the guys worth dating do.

[GoreSP]

All those things are somewhat important, of course.

 

However, the kind of woman you want to date will be attracted to you for other reasons. A lot of women won't be attracted to you despite the stability that comes along with dating you. And that is normal...