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How Aggressive Should I be?


stephy567

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A couple of weeks ago I posted about a first date with a coworker. The date went really well, but didn't end in a kiss, which disappointed me. Since then, we have gone on a second date and this time we did kiss. It took a while for him to make the move (I've been told I can be kind of stand offish...not because I'm not into it, I'm just shy and awkward, so maybe that's why). He seemed to take a long time to push things along physically that night, I ended up being the one slightly more aggressive to move things along. What I mean is, if it were completely up to him, we might have just kissed and groped a little, but because I pushed a little bit, we did a little more. We didn't sleep together and I'm not sure if my "aggressiveness" turned him off a little.

 

When that date ended (3 days ago), he said he'd like to take me out again and has mentioned going out again once over text since then.

 

Here's my question: It's Monday and because I have to arrange babysitting and all that, I usually like to figure out my week early on. Do I wait for him to ask when he can take me out (that's what he did when planning the second date)? Do I just ask him if he wants to go out Friday (the only day I'm available to go out)? I'm afraid that if I just ask him if he wants to go out Friday, that coupled with my physical aggressiveness, it will turn him off. But, I'm worried if I don't say something, he'll think I'm minimally interested because he's already told me twice he wants to go out again....leaving it open to me to tell him when I'm available, but I didn't. Obviously, no one can read his mind, but any opinions are appreciated.

Edited by stephy567
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Haha, thanks. I'm just gun shy because some people think strongly that the girl should never initiate anything or seem interested at all.

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tinderbox8888

First of all, why are you so insistent about gettin it in after a few dates? You barely know the guy. As a guy that has been in many relationships, if a girl is pushing to have sex that quickly, I will usually avoid them. If they are that frisky with me right out of the gate, that means they have done that with other guys. I usually wait about 3 weeks to a month before I decide to have sex at all.

 

Slow it down. Let the dates happen naturally and if after a couple weeks he still isn't moving anything forward, break it off. If he is tentative, he will continue to be tentative.

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