cuddleme Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 I've been with my boyfriend now for a little more than 4 months and our relationship is great and everyone sees that. I've met most of his friends and they are all nice to me. But his best friend just seems like he doesn't like me. He never says anything to me and every time we are all together he gives me nasty looks. When he texts my boyfriend he refers me as his "bitch" or just simply "bitch" and not his girlfriend. I'm getting fed up and I've told my boyfriend and he's talked to his best friend but nothing has changed. He said that I'm stealing my boyfriend away from him even though my boyfriend chooses to spend time with me and he sees his best friend as much as he sees me. He even jokingly texts my boyfriend that he should break up with me I know he says "jk" but feels like deep inside there's a part of him that's wants my boyfriend to break up with me. Should I talk to his friend and just straight up tell him how I feel? He's only messaged me on Facebook once because my boyfriend was really upset and wanted me to calm him down and that's the only time we've talked and I made it clear to him that I care about my boyfriend a lot. It's hard to talk to him in person because I don't see him that often. Should I message him or just leave it alone? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 The friend's behaviour is beyond disrespectful and totally unacceptable. Why does you boyfriend allow him to speak about you that way? If one of my friends spoke about my significant other in such nasty terms, I wouldn't speak to her again unless and until she apologized to me and my boyfriend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cuddleme Posted January 28, 2014 Author Share Posted January 28, 2014 I think he's used to calling his friends that are girls "bitch" because that's how they talk to each other but I'm not one of his friends. My boyfriend told him to stop calling me that but he still calls me that when he texts him. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 This is not something you can fix. He is jealous of you and your relationship so he sees you as the enemy. This is something your bf needs to deal with. I would not under any circumstance kowtow to this guy because he sees you as the enemy. If you try to talk to him, he will just make fun of you when he is alone with his friends. You don't have to get his approval, but your bf does need to tell him that using the term bitch for his gf is unacceptable. I know I am a bit older than you so I called my nieces and nephews who are in high school and they said that was whack and for you not to put up with it. My nephew who is 17 suggested you figure out a way to stay away from him at all costs because he might actually try to sabotage your relationship if he wants his best friend back from you. The girls asked if it is possible his friend is gay and has a crush on him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 I think he's used to calling his friends that are girls "bitch" because that's how they talk to each other but I'm not one of his friends. My boyfriend told him to stop calling me that but he still calls me that when he texts him. Pardon? How old are these guys? Yuck. Your boyfriend needs a grow a pair and tell his friend to eff right off with that disrespectful garbage. Every time he responds to his friend when this clown uses that filth, he's tacitly accepting it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cuddleme Posted January 28, 2014 Author Share Posted January 28, 2014 This is not something you can fix. He is jealous of you and your relationship so he sees you as the enemy. This is something your bf needs to deal with. I would not under any circumstance kowtow to this guy because he sees you as the enemy. If you try to talk to him, he will just make fun of you when he is alone with his friends. You don't have to get his approval, but your bf does need to tell him that using the term bitch for his gf is unacceptable. I know I am a bit older than you so I called my nieces and nephews who are in high school and they said that was whack and for you not to put up with it. My nephew who is 17 suggested you figure out a way to stay away from him at all costs because he might actually try to sabotage your relationship if he wants his best friend back from you. The girls asked if it is possible his friend is gay and has a crush on him? No his friend is definitely not gay. He just doesn't like me for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 It's not your problem. If anything, it is your boyfriend's issue. There is nothing you could do (or should do). Getting upset about it and trying to get your BF involved in this feud will only force him to choose between the two of you. He's trying to keep a balance between his best friend and his girlfriend. It's a tough thing to do if one party does not like the other. Be warned, if you choose to pursue this, then this is where your relationship will end. "Bros before Hos," really. It's a 4month relationship vs a lifetime of friendship. Who do you think wins? Just like if the situation was reversed, you'd have "chicks before dicks," or whatever the galpal version of this is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cuddleme Posted January 28, 2014 Author Share Posted January 28, 2014 It's not your problem. If anything, it is your boyfriend's issue. There is nothing you could do (or should do). Getting upset about it and trying to get your BF involved in this feud will only force him to choose between the two of you. He's trying to keep a balance between his best friend and his girlfriend. It's a tough thing to do if one party does not like the other. Be warned, if you choose to pursue this, then this is where your relationship will end. "Bros before Hos," really. It's a 4month relationship vs a lifetime of friendship. Who do you think wins? Just like if the situation was reversed, you'd have "chicks before dicks," or whatever the galpal version of this is. His friend hasn't even got to know me. But with his other friends they all like me because they actually want to get to know their friends girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 His friend hasn't even got to know me. But with his other friends they all like me because they actually want to get to know their friends girlfriend. And that's fine. They don't all have to like you. You have to accept that and be cool with it. In fact, you look like a cooler girlfriend if you DON'T let this stuff bother you. Show that you're above that. Your boyfriend will be impressed. Besides, you don't have to spend time with them. It's not necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Conners Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I know how you feel. My ex had a friend who NEVER left his house. It was his families house too.. so it was strange. When I went over to my boyfriends house he would sulk and make snide comments if we were alone together. It's part of the reason I got fed up with the relationship because I was tired of feeling like I was doing something wrong when I wasn't. My ex claimed that he had spoken to him about it but nothing changed. I found out that the day we broke up he tried to get a whole bunch of girls over so my ex could hook up and apparently "find a girl who treats you properly" and my ex flipped out at him and said that he was partly the reason the relationship ended because he was rude to me and never gave us space. Maybe one day your boyfriend will do the same to your friend. I wouldn't put up with it either. Link to post Share on other sites
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