Embarrassed by a crush on a male coworker

[nooney]

A few months ago, a male coworker that I have a crush on stopped to talk to me at the end of the day. I generally avoid him, which isn't weird at my workplace because there are so many people there. He made me so nervous that I had a hard time talking to him, so it was for the best. He is much younger than me, but he probably thinks I'm around his age because everyone else does. We're both adults, so this isn't a school girl crush. One of my male coworkers had asked him a month earlier if he was married or had a girlfriend, and he said no. They just happened to be talking next to me as I was working.

 

Anyway, he stops me out of the blue and tells me that someone talked to him about my department earlier. I asked him what it was for, and he sounded like he was completely making something up. I looked him right in the eyes for a moment, and he looked surprised. I asked who talked to him, and again he sounded like he was completely making something up. Either he is a REALLY bad liar or he really is that ditzy. Anyway, what he said actually reminded me of something I forgot to do, so I told him that and then walked away. The look on his face as I walked away showed that he thought I might like him. I think the eyes gave it away.

 

I actually changed to a new work area for a couple of months, which I thought would ease the awkwardness for me, but it didn't. I tried avoiding him, but he kept trying to make eye contact with me. It felt like he was trying to validate whether I was into him, since I hadn't looked him straight in the face for a few weeks. He started walking by where I work and giving me these kind of intense gazes, and I admit that I played along for several weeks. Cut to a week before Christmas and he comes up to talk to someone next to the person I'm talking to. I did a double-take, and as he started to walk away something caught my eye in the opposite direction. I noticed in my peripheral vision that he was trying to do the "intense eye contact" thing with me as he was walking away.

 

After Christmas, I am talking to someone who works with him about work stuff, and she mentions that he just got engaged to someone who lives out of state! What??? I just about died of embarrassment, even though no one knows anything about what's going on. I realized that he was just using me to feed his ego at work, which is even more embarrassing. He was probably feeling really desirable and smug about it.

 

The next time I saw him, I completely ignored him. We finally had a work encounter where I had to say a couple of words to him, but I was kind of a bitch to him. I guess I didn't want him to have any indication that I was into him at all so that he doesn't get his free ego boost anymore. He probably not attracted to me at all and thought it was funny to see if he could get me to show my crush.

 

I feel like I deserve a big told-you-so from everyone on the forums. Even though I wasn't imagining his behavior, I still should have known better than to go along with it at work. I really am old enough to know better, but crushes make you do stupid things. I am so embarrassed!

[Shashasha]

Really nothing to be embarrassed about. These kinda things happen and work relationships just usually end bad most of the time. Just relax and hopefully the crush will pass!

[nooney]

Thank you for the kind words, Shashasha. I guess I don't want the guy thinking like, "Ha, ha, ha, she totally wants me." I find it humiliating that someone would play with someone like that for their own enjoyment.

[Kingkaneda]

If you would have talked to him more, he might have asked you out. Now it seems you didn't show your interest enough for him to take it further and some other woman did.

[Shashasha]

Thank you for the kind words, Shashasha. I guess I don't want the guy thinking like, "Ha, ha, ha, she totally wants me." I find it humiliating that someone would play with someone like that for their own enjoyment.

 

That's understandable. If you don't want anything out of this, just stop giving him the attention he wants. Take it easy! Not a big deal...x

[nooney]

If you would have talked to him more, he might have asked you out. Now it seems you didn't show your interest enough for him to take it further and some other woman did.

This only started less than four months ago, so I know he didn't meet someone out of state, fall in love, and get engaged in three months! He already had the girlfriend and wanted to feed his ego.

 

That's understandable. If you don't want anything out of this, just stop giving him the attention he wants. Take it easy! Not a big deal...x

 

Yeah, I have stopped giving him any attention like that at all. It still irritates me, but I have to act like it never happened. He doesn't know that I know about the fiance, so thank God I found out or this could still be going on.