Tells me he loves me then goes cold

[fireworks]

I've been seeing a guy for 4 months exclusively. We've been mainly FWB (we have NOT had sex yet) because he has told me he has issues with commitment and is working through that and I'm moving VERY far away in about 2 months and am not sure if I want to pursue a long distance relationship. This guy has been hot and cold before, due to him pushing me away so much. The closer we get and the deeper things go... well he ends up needing a few days to a week to basically go cold on me. He'll respond to texts and see me actively during these cold moments, but he keeps himself emotionally at a distance while we are together (not being as attentive or conversational). About a few weeks ago I realized that I'm in love with this guy and it's been driving me crazy. He has no idea how I feel. As a result, I told him a few weeks ago (beginning of December) that I will NOT tolerate him going cold on me anymore, I don't want to get hurt and that every time he does this, I feel hurt. He thought about what I said, and has not went cold since. We've spent the last few weeks being extremely close with each other. He asked me to be his girlfriend 2 weeks ago and I told him no. Mainly because he's still not sure if he wants to pursue an LDR with me (I'd only be gone for a year and can visit) and because he's not consistent emotionally. He's mentioned issues with commitment and I know that's not fixed overnight and he needs to be 100% sure he wants to be with me. The hot and cold thing is something I can't sign up for and I'm very happy just being his friend. I explained that to him and he said he needs to work on fixing himself and being more consistent with me.

 

Before I left he took me on a very romantic date and we had a couple of really great nights together. We both went home for the holidays and he texted me a bunch on Christmas Eve, basically saying how when we are both back on the New Year's he wants to start over, be consistent with me, accepted that all the issues we are having is because he's too up and down, how he never wants me to not be in his life, and how no matter where I go, near or far he wants to be with me, and how he feels like he's been lying to himself to protect his feelings and he has to start honest about how he feels and what he wants with me. He has NEVER said anything like this to me before EVER. He sent me a gift for the holiday and he wrote me a card that said that he truly loves me and gave me a very meaningful gift (it included something from his childhood that is very important to him). Again, he has never said anything like this to me ever. I don't want to say "I love you" to him while not physically being there, so I just told him I felt the same way, asked how what he meant and then he went cold again. Granted this happened a couple of days ago but after such an emotional outburst, it seems strange he's suddenly not responding to me. I asked him about the love thing via text (I'm at home and have 0 privacy, and we have a time difference so a phone call was out of the question that night) and he basically avoided my question, said that he means everything he said to me, and basically ended the conversation by saying "We will just be cool about everything ok?"

 

I have NO IDEA what he's talking about but figured we should say the love conversation for in person anyway. After that I texted him a couple of times saying I'm thinking about him and hope he's happy and no response from him at all. Even his Mom sent me a message on Facebook asking about my holiday but I haven't heard from him since Christmas.

 

I'm not sure what to think at all. Maybe he got freaked out? It's just weird since he's the one who said he loved me and said all these things. I didn't bring it up at all. Should I lay off and give him space? I'm just disappointed since this was a really meaningful gesture and statement and now he's going back to not talking. This is also our first time being physically away from each other for so long so I'm not sure if this plays a part as well, especially since he knows I'm leaving in 2 months.

Edited December 28, 2013 by fireworks