Not sure how first "date" went...

[DarkNoel]

Hey everyone!

 

So to make a long story short, here are the main details:

- I met some girl at a school networking event. She seemed nice.

- I had to leave quickly from this event, so I didn't get her contacts. I found her on facebook (due to mutual friends) the next day and followed up asking she'd like to go out for drinks sometime (we say this to most people we meet, so I wasn't really expecting anything). She said sure, and gave me her number and made an excuse about not liking to use Facebook.

- I texted her a few days later, asking if she had time. She gave a wishy-washy answer, and didn't reject or accept, or provide times when she was free.

- I asked her for a straight answer, and suggested that we should get dinner before going to a mutual friend's party over the weekend (that we both happened to be going to). She agreed.

- So we set up all the details over text. She always had long responses, laughed at my sarcasm, and was borderline flirty.

- So I wasn't sure if it was just going to be "hanging out" or a simple first "date". I saw it as a "getting-to-know-you" first date. But I wasn't sure how she felt.

- I showed up early to dinner and made sure I wasn't late. We ordered and I offered to pay (it was a pay first kind of casual diner). She asked if I was sure, and I said yes, since it was my idea to go out. She didn't really hesitate or put up a fight.

- So we talked for the next hour and a half. Barely touched our food, since we were so busy talking. Talked about everything from backgrounds, goals, careers, traits we like in people, our plans for the weekend, where we lived, where we grew up. It was going pretty well. I think we had a good spark. We maintained good interest and eye contact. Had a few laughs. She even mentioned her most recent relationship and talked about a guy who was trying to hit on her at work.

- It was fun, but we had to leave to go to this party.

- At the party (15 people or so house party), I didn't make any moves or anything. I just wanted to see how she would react. For example, I wanted to see if she would stand near me or talk to me. We both were mingling with all of the other people at this party.

- So during the 3 hour period that we were there. I would say that, we were only within arm's length of each other for like 10 minutes. We didn't really get to talk much, nor were we often in the same conversation with a group of people. We looked at each other occasionally. One time, I looked at her straight in the eye to see how she was doing. She stared back and slightly smiled and looked away.

- We left the party together with a group of people, so we didn't really get a chance to talk one on one. When we reached the subway station, we said a short goodbye and everyone went off on their own ways.

 

So now, I'm pretty puzzled and unsure of what to do next. I don't know what she thinks of me or if she has any interest. I don't know if she viewed the dinner as a date or hanging out. And I'm pretty dejected by how the events of this party played out.

 

Should I initiate contact with her again and tell her I had a good time and ask her out again sometime? Or is that making my ambitions too obvious?

 

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I'd appreciate it if you would let me know what your thoughts are. Thank you for your responses.

Edited December 14, 2013 by DarkNoel

[Dallers]

Sounds like a pretty perfect situation for a first date and leaves you wide open for a second date.

 

Not sure what you are asking here, from all of that I got that you two have obvious connection and there is potential here to go further. The party thing was best case scenario in the circumstances as nothing went wrong there and if it was going to it would.

 

It is up to you really, if you like her then you need to make contact and proceed for a 2nd date. She will be waiting,.... you won't hear from her first.

[DarkNoel]

Well, I'm not sure how she feels at all. I just have doubts and fear rejection like most guys. I'm in my early twenties so I'm not too experienced in this adult dating stuff. I just hope that I haven't been friend-zoned from the start. I have had experiences before where I think things are going well, but a girl sees me as a close friend that she can talk about anything to, and NOT a romantic interest.

[MrMeh]

You never know till you ask. That simple. People fear the short-run instead of thinking what they might gain in the long-run.

[DarkNoel]

So I took you all's advice and texted her last night, telling her I had a good time and asked her out again. So far no response...ugh. I hope she at least has the decency to respond with an answer, regardless of what it is.

[simplicity1]

I'm surprised to hear you haven't gotten a response. Sounds to me like she gave you pretty good indication that she was interested. Only thing might be that maybe she felt you were not making any effort to stand near her at the party either?