Caring about what the others think

[Dimension7]

Hello,

 

So, I'm officially in a relationship with this girl for two weeks. Before that, we spent almost two months seeing each other frequently, always having a wonderful time together.

 

Our starting place was a music festival - there we had the first conversation. And that "meeting" happened because we share a social circle - although our closest friends do not belong to it. That social circle is comprised by people who work in our local music business - guys who play in bands, who promote gigs, etc., an area where I also work.

 

So, whenever we went to the same gig or party, she was always reluctant to do intimate things in front of those people. For her, it was important to show that we were only friends - and we were, although we were already having sex.

 

Now, the thing is official, as I said above. But she said to me that even though she now has no problem kissing me or holding hands at some point while we're hanging out within that social circle, she is a person that doesn't feel well being always close to her boyfriend in public. She also doesn't update anything related to this in her facebook - no status, no photos.

 

I respect that and I know, from talking to her friends, that she has always been like this when in a relationship. The problem is that I have this urge to show that she's mine, it's like a territorial thing. Better saying: it's this self conscious, insecure attitude, that wants everybody to know that I'm not a loner.

 

I really want to get rid of this thing and just be in peace while hanging out with her. Because insecurity brings jealously and I don't want to screw everything up when seeing a guy talking to her, hitting on her, thinking that she's single. I just want to achieve this peace of mind, in order to enjoy what I have.

 

What others think have always bothered me so much and I'd love to get some tips to stop acting like this.

[c57dood]

Here's the bottom line, you have to consider that you are the ****ING MAN and that if she did cheat on you or break up with you, she will NEVER meet another guy like you ever again. The only time you should get territorial is if a guy is stepping over the bounds, and most of the time it's pretty obvious when this is happening. You don't need to smother her.