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How would you react?


ShiningMoon

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There's this guy I met last Spring who recently got in touch with me out of the blue. I cut him off after he managed to cancel our first date multiple times. I'm kinda seeing someone at the moment but I was very attracted to the guy back then.

 

The thing is I sent him an apology for cutting him off and he never responded. Now, months later, he's trying to talk to me. He said it's because he was busy with work and realized he did not have time to see someone.

 

 

 

Why is he suddenly getting in touch? Should I give him a shot?

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I would say to let this guy go. He cancelled your first date multiple times. He ignored your letter of apology when you cut him off. Now, after giving no explanation for his repeated flaking at the time, he is telling you because he was busy with work? Nah, doesn't fly. The guy is rude and inconsiderate. Sounds like he's still making excuses for his poor behavior. Just tell him you are no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with him, and that ship has sailed.

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Hum. I really liked him back then. I'm the kind of person who holds a bit of a grudge, so I'm not sure I'll be able to "like" him again. However, I'm not really into the guy I'm currently dating, so I'm not sure what to think.

 

Is it possible to like someone again if they acted so rudely towards you?

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Don't give him a shot. He washed his hands of you while he was likely dating someone he liked better, but when it didn't work out, he's now coming back for you.

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It's not a matter of holding a grudge. It's a matter of knowing what character traits you are looking for in a man, and knowing that this guy doesn't seem to exhibit those traits. If being considerate is something that is important to have in a dating partner, in your opinion, then this guy doesn't seem to have that characteristic. He didn't then, and he likely still does not.

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This has happened to me. He most likely was dating someone else. It has ended and he is going back to you because it's faster/easier than trying to find someone altogether new. I would advise you to steer clear- just say you're not interested and then ignore him.

 

And go ahead and end things with the guy you're "not that into"- why drag it out if it's lukewarm?

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By contacting him and apologizing, you left the door open. Men know that women who don't care about their existence treat them like zero and the last thing one would expect to hear in a zero dynamic is an apology. That's about it.

 

How would I react? A lot of life would have gone under the bridge and I would have moved on. I learned this by many years of dating women. Great life lesson. Good luck.

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No, don't give it a shot. He could've acknowledged you before but he didn't want to. Don't let him make you play second fiddle.

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