mammasita Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Last night we went out to dinner and went to a movie after. At dinner, while waiting for the bill: Me: So, would you like me to pay for dinner or buy the movie tickets? Him: Honey, you don't have to pay for anything. Me: I know I don't have to, but I would like to pay for something.... Him: nope. Is it too soon to be in love 5 Link to post Share on other sites
mutualove Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Break his heart and the next time he'll think twice before saying the same thing to another person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Last night we went out to dinner and went to a movie after. At dinner, while waiting for the bill: Me: So, would you like me to pay for dinner or buy the movie tickets? Him: Honey, you don't have to pay for anything. Me: I know I don't have to, but I would like to pay for something.... Him: nope. Is it too soon to be in love This should be standard dating. It is nice you offered to pay which shows him you aren't the misandrist gold digger LSers keep talking about. I hope he continues to be a gentleman. Good luck, Grumps 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Kate9292 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Last night we went out to dinner and went to a movie after. At dinner, while waiting for the bill: Me: So, would you like me to pay for dinner or buy the movie tickets? Him: Honey, you don't have to pay for anything. Me: I know I don't have to, but I would like to pay for something.... Him: nope. Is it too soon to be in love I wish more guys here read this and took notes Unless they already know and do it. Then way to go, you know how to treat a lady 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 (edited) I wish more guys here read this and took notes Unless they already know and do it. Then way to go, you know how to treat a lady I wish more girls were this easily impressed. Offer to pay and they fall in love? By the way, where I'm from, it's pretty common guys pay for the dates. But it's also nice when a girl treats sometimes when the relationship is progressing. Edited November 18, 2013 by Valen 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I wish more guys here read this and took notes Unless they already know and do it. Then way to go, you know how to treat a lady I think there a good portion of guys out there that know how to treat a lady. Speaking for the under 35 age group though, it can often be hard for a guy to find a lady. Plenty of women to choose from, sometimes not a lady among them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mammasita Posted November 18, 2013 Author Share Posted November 18, 2013 Sounds like an idiot. No reason why women can't pay for themselves. I actually pay him to have sex with me because I'm ugly so it evens out. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
emva07 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I actually pay him to have sex with me because I'm ugly so it evens out. what? you pay him to have sex with you so when he pays for dinner he is technically giving you back the money? or did you mean you are even because you are paying him back in sex? Either way, ugly has nothing to do with it. You don't need to be hot to have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I actually pay him to have sex with me because I'm ugly so it evens out. So, some nights he gets fast food, and others it's a long, drawn out, seven course meal! With dessert! Link to post Share on other sites
Kate9292 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 what? you pay him to have sex with you so when he pays for dinner he is technically giving you back the money? or did you mean you are even because you are paying him back in sex? Either way, ugly has nothing to do with it. You don't need to be hot to have sex. I think it was a joke:) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
emva07 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I think it was a joke:) ohhhhhhhhhhhh that's what I though, but wasn't sure. Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I wish more girls were this easily impressed. Offer to pay and they fall in love? By the way, where I'm from, it's pretty common guys pay for the dates. But it's also nice when a girl treats sometimes when the relationship is progressing. this ^ .............. Link to post Share on other sites
Kate9292 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I wish more girls were this easily impressed. Offer to pay and they fall in love? Nah. Just facilitates the process If someone I didn't like already pay for me, would have made no difference, though gesture would still be noted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TB Rhine Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Me: So, would you like me to pay for dinner or buy the movie tickets? Him: Honey, you don't have to pay for anything. Me: I know I don't have to, but I would like to pay for something.... Him: nope. Is it too soon to be in love Feminism, ladies and gentlemen. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 What this says about you: - You tell a man one thing and mean another - To you money = love Link to post Share on other sites
MalachiX Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Interesting how a thread like this means different things to different people. I'm a guy and I always insist on paying (unless we're deep in a relationship). I've never been annoyed about it or had any issue. That said, I can't help but find it a little odd/sad that apparently that's what is making you fall in love. Kinda odd that you didn't come on and talk about how smart, charming, or considerate he was. I think guys can be feminists and I'd like to consider myself one. I think it's kinda a shame when any gender seems to want the parts of old gender roles that benefit them but not the others. I know I've got some female friends who actually get annoyed at this. I remember I once watched two of them bicker when one came late to a meeting and said, "come on guys, give your seats up to the ladies." Several of us were happy to only to have the other one say, "hey. I don't a seat just because i have a vagina" to which the first replied, "it's not sexist. Our wombs are heavy." I'm not trying to be combative as far as gender is concerned but I do think that posts like this raise a fairly interesting question. Do people who ask for equality really want it? I, along with a lot of guys, certainly like chivalry and see a value to it but I think some of us find it odd when it's demanded. Maybe a better analogy would be this. How would everyone react if a man made this post. How I tried to do my own laundry and she told me to go watch football and scratch myself: Last night I realized I hadn't done any laundry and I was hungry. Me: So, shall I do my laundry? Her: You never have to do laundry again. Or clean. That's woman's work. Me: I know I don't have to, but I would like to contribute Her: Nope. You go watch the game while I go make you a sandwich. Is it too soon to be in love 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Okay gentlemen, Here's the thing: it isn't about "feminism" or "money." It's about what a guy is "obligated" to do vs. what he actually does. When a guy goes past "obligation" into a more giving or rewarding zone, it lights our fire. In this instance it was about paying. She offered to pay, he basically said "I'm obligated to pay for half/or my share (whatever) but instead I am going to invest a little more here to show you in a symbolic way that I care. In a way that isn't as popular in mainstream society these days and some guys would even call me a chump for it." Points. Same as when a guy does nice small things that show he's thinking of his lady or is willing to go the extra mile for her. Seriously, A LOT of women have been socially and traditionally trained to go the extra mile for guys (especially domestically) so we recognize and value it when it happens to us. This generation of young men and women seem to be a mixed bag of people that DO NOT wish to cross personal responsibility lines and those who want a more "traditional in the modern world" sense of romance. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 How I tried to do my own laundry and she told me to go watch football and scratch myself: Last night I realized I hadn't done any laundry and I was hungry. Me: So, shall I do my laundry? Her: You never have to do laundry again. Or clean. That's woman's work. Me: I know I don't have to, but I would like to contribute Her: Nope. You go watch the game while I go make you a sandwich. Is it too soon to be in love I think if the woman hadn't said the bit about "I'll do laundry forever, it's woman's work" it would not only be less offensive but it would be a more apt analogy. If the situation were more like: "Hey Sweetheart, I notice you had a load ready to be washed so I did it and its folded on the bed. I didn't know where you want your dress shirts. And since you're coming in late I made you a sandwich. I know that you don't want to miss the game. Don't worry about it." What guy wouldn't be in love after that LOL? Is it because she's a 'woman doing woman's work?' Or is it because your partner would've anticipated a need that you had and went the extra mile for you? The extra mile isn't owned by one particular gender. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Kate9292 Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Okay gentlemen, Here's the thing: it isn't about "feminism" or "money." It's about what a guy is "obligated" to do vs. what he actually does. When a guy goes past "obligation" into a more giving or rewarding zone, it lights our fire. In this instance it was about paying. She offered to pay, he basically said "I'm obligated to pay for half/or my share (whatever) but instead I am going to invest a little more here to show you in a symbolic way that I care. In a way that isn't as popular in mainstream society these days and some guys would even call me a chump for it." Points. Same as when a guy does nice small things that show he's thinking of his lady or is willing to go the extra mile for her. Seriously, A LOT of women have been socially and traditionally trained to go the extra mile for guys (especially domestically) so we recognize and value it when it happens to us. This generation of young men and women seem to be a mixed bag of people that DO NOT wish to cross personal responsibility lines and those who want a more "traditional in the modern world" sense of romance. Exactly! It's not what you are "supposed" or "obligated" to do, but how you make other person feel. If a guy pays for me, I'd rather he did it because he liked me and wanted to treat me - knowing that feels good. Doesn't everyone like to be treated every once in a while? But if he begrudgingly paid and made some snide remarks about "feminism" or "gold diggers", I wouldn't feel good about it and would not go with such guy ever again 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Exactly! It's not what you are "supposed" or "obligated" to do, but how you make other person feel. If a guy pays for me, I'd rather he did it because he liked me and wanted to treat me - knowing that feels good. Doesn't everyone like to be treated every once in a while? But if he begrudgingly paid and made some snide remarks about "feminism" or "gold diggers", I wouldn't feel good about it and would not go with such guy ever again Even if he said, "I'm the GUY and the GUY pays" Then it would blot out the good-naturedness of his action because he's not doing it to show that he likes "us" or wants "us" to feel good. He would be doing it out of his own obligation or ego. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 The OP wasn't on a first date. This is practically her boyfriend. It's pretty much the same as if I was seeing someone and wanted to cook him a meal. If he came in, tired from work and offered to help, I'd say "go and sit down with a beer, you don't have to do a thing". If he loved that and said to his friends how great it was, it doesn't make him a misogynist. Couples enjoy doing things that make each other feel special and wanted. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mammasita Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 The OP wasn't on a first date. This is practically her boyfriend. It's pretty much the same as if I was seeing someone and wanted to cook him a meal. If he came in, tired from work and offered to help, I'd say "go and sit down with a beer, you don't have to do a thing". If he loved that and said to his friends how great it was, it doesn't make him a misogynist. Couples enjoy doing things that make each other feel special and wanted. Exactly.......we are in a relationship at this point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Last night we went out to dinner and went to a movie after. At dinner, while waiting for the bill: Me: So, would you like me to pay for dinner or buy the movie tickets? Him: Honey, you don't have to pay for anything. Me: I know I don't have to, but I would like to pay for something.... Him: nope. Is it too soon to be in love Oh the stupid matter of who pays the bill. I'm soo bored of it. Women think they have to volunteer to pay so they don't seem that they want the guy for the money but what they actually do is test the guy. If he insists on paying he passes the test, if not he can go to hell. Men think they have to insist on paying cause their fathers taught them like this, but what they actually want is show that they can pass the test the woman will make them take. They actually think that paying for a woman's food or shoes etc is really manipulation, but they can't express this cause they know they'll be sent to hell. What I do: pay for my food, ask him to pay for his. The stupid matter of money never comes between me and my date. I consider these tests really fake and I clear this up at the beginning. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Not to minimize his gesture, but asking "do you want me to pay for this?" was kind of a set up. Who can say yes to that without feeling awkward? Or-- Her: I'll take care of the check this time Him: No, please, I want to get it. Her: Ok Even that is an invitation for objection. The real indication would be if, without saying anything, she were to take the check & open her wallet. In that case, his objection would have greater validity. Of course, whether or not he would choose to insist on paying wouldn't necessarily indicate his feelings as he may be showing respect by allowing her to pay or responding to his own social mores by refusing to allow her to. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 OP never mentioned if this was a first date or if she was already banging the dude. That is important info i'm sure she left out on purpose in order to generate what will be an epic 20 page thread on who pays. Isn't there a sticky for this type of trollish subject? Leave the horse alone. It's dead and already beaten. Now you want it to look like road kill also? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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