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My Girlfriend Was invited to play. I was not.


Kwilliams14

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Both my girlfriend and are athletic people. We play other sports though, so she is good at soccer, and I'm good at golf/tennis. I have absolutely no issues with her being better than me at soccer, and I actually find it quite attractive that she is.

 

The problem is that she was invited to play on a co-ed team with a bunch of guys... and I was not. I absolutely love to play soccer, and wish to get better. Having my girlfriend play on the same team as me is always a sweet bonus. But here she is now on a team without me. I feel a bit.. rejected? I am unsure how I feel.

 

I don't know if it is jealousy that she is playing without me.. or if its because I know that she will be getting closer to these guys that I barely even know... I don't know. I don't want to come out and say to her "hey you can't play without me". that is not fair. I am more looking for advice on how to ... cope with the situation?

 

I honestly feel that its not so much the jealousy of there being other guys (maybe a little) but I think the larger issue is that I didn't feel good enough to play as well. So i feel rejected from them, and a little bit from her... But I do not want to deny her from having fun! Advice?

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aussietigerwolf

me and my boyfriend both belonged to the same guild in wow, (cutting a long story short) they went out of their way to invite me to a raid but kept on ignoring my boyfriend when he asked to go as well. I wasn't going to play without my boyfriend so I turned them down.

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well you two were prob of similar levels.

 

my girlfriend is much better at soccer. and the league they'd be joining would probably be too advanced for me. but i love to play. i know its silly of me to feel rejected about it... but i do. this is something she has a passion for and wants to do it as much as possible. i don't want her to give that up just because I'm feeling left out.

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ConstantVoyager

Honestly? Tell your girlfriend to have a great time and work on your skills in another league.

 

It's good for couples to do things separately sometimes.

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This is exactly what I need to do. And I know that. But for some reason its hard to put into action haha. I guess its just something I will have to get over. Ideas on how to do that?

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aussietigerwolf

There's a lot more to why I refused to go without him but... Maybe she feels the same? Has she accepted their invite?

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This is exactly what I need to do. And I know that. But for some reason its hard to put into action haha. I guess its just something I will have to get over. Ideas on how to do that?

 

You sound like a really nice bf. I would just think of it as an opportunity for her that you support just because you care for her happiness. I would not expect her to turn it down as that will breed contempt and will make her resent you. Life is about pushing down jealousy and fear and rising above that to do the right thing even if it is hard and makes you feel uncomfortable.

 

You don't just get over it. You make a conscious decision to be a good person and you do it anyway even if it is hard. She will appreciate that you are secure in yourself and you will come off looking pretty steady.

 

Good luck,

Grumps

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todreaminblue

if i am with a guy i want him to be on the team fro me if they reject him they freakin reject me i would politely tell them to jump off a cliff and join a team where we could play together against the team that rejected him and make them rue th eday in compettiion.....smilin....kick their butt......the only guy i would want on my team would be first front and center my guy at my back ....deb

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IMO being invited into a competitive soccer league and WOW can't be compared at all.

 

Don't expect her to turn down this invitation. Don't try to make her feel guilty about it. She has a love for soccer support her and get over it.

 

Jog for three miles with a ball everyday. You'll get better.

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This is what, an hour long game a week and maybe one practice? I honestly don't see the issue at all. If you don't regularly play soccer and your gf does why would it even cross their mind to invite you? Does your gf know you'd like to be on a soccer team? If not why would she assume you want to be on it when you are a golf/tennis guy? Please try to think logically rather than emotionally, maybe that'll help you get over it.

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Just let her play, and don't feel bad about about not being good enough. There's also no reason you should be jealous either because at the end of the day who is she going home with? - Make sure you go support her games though and cheer for her.

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Be honest with her about how it makes you feel... but let her play! You readily admit the league is above your skill level. What if you were invited to play in a golf league above her skill level? Would you want to have her on your team "dragging you down"? Not saying you're dragging anyone down, but in sports, it's important to have everyone at the same skill level. But let her know you support her, and will support her at games, but you're feeling a little jealous you aren't invited... you're not doing anything negative by doing that, you're just being honest!

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I'd cheer her on, but you can say you really like playing too and while you know that team is too good for you, maybe she knows someone with a more social team you can join? Then you get to be cheerleader at her games and run around and have fun at your own

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See im a football captain.......or soccer if that's what im going to have to call it for the purpose of this thread, lol!

 

So my perspective is.......its all about who's going to bring home the win!!

 

To me its not just a game, its not just about having fun....have a friendly kick about with your girlfriend by all means but as hard as I might seem by saying it - in a team in a league, you cant have a spot if you don't deserve it!

You only get 11 people out on that pitch, if you get one who cant keep pace then it instantly gives the other team an advantage and puts more workload on the other players.

 

I know I might be being a bit brutal but I've played football all my life - theres only a set about of spots on the team and only 11 on the pitch!

 

 

 

 

I think its great that you enjoy playing sport with your girlfriend but you don't want to get onto any team through her right?

Train up till you can earn a spot (easily possible - look a Beckham, he'll say himself he's far from the most naturally talented player, he got where he got through practice) or just let it go - go cheer her on on the side lines!

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