Jump to content

He is a mess


amythan

Recommended Posts

Hi,

 

I have posted about this guy before and I thought we were done for good.

You can check my last thread for details but in short, we met ten months ago and we were from the first day very attracted to each other. He had a g/f and they broke up beginning of this summer. I do not know the details but it was a very ugly one.

 

He kept in touch but he told me he needs to be alone for a while despite he really likes me. To be honest I always had a hard time accepting this. Probably because i think that if someone is into you everything else doesn't matter. I thought we could be friends though as we always have a blast and we get along so well together, but he stopped talking to me a few times. And then he always came back with one of those emotional emails saying how awesome I am and I am the whole package and what not ...

 

So two weeks ago he started emailing and calling again and finally he said he will be in town last week (working at my office building) for two days and he invited me for lunch. I said yes because I am stupid and because I really wanted to be friends and give him time without being nagging. And then he cancelled the same day and as I was not replying to his messages he came back gain and again saying he was really sorry. I told him that I understand he doesn't care and to leave me alone.

 

This weekend he texted me again (i guess he was drunk, another classic of him) saying "i saw you twice last week and you looked absolutely amazing. I do not know anyone like you. You think I am aloof and I don't care and I think my actions have no consequences. Nothing could be farther from the truth. But I had very grim experiences lately and I do not want to like anyone, even if I like them".

 

He is not interested. Fine. He wants to go on with his self pity party. Fine. But why is he coming back all the time, organizing things to finally let me down again ? This time he hurt me and he made me feel like a fool, he says he cares but in which culture treating someone like that means caring ??

 

I do like him but he crossed the line. I am not interested in even being friends, if he changes his mind about enjoying being miserable I would be happy to give him a chance but I do not need messy people around ...

 

What would you do ? Why he is always pushing me if he likes me ? Actually does he like me ?

 

Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

He wants something from you, but nothing that you've shared indicates a relationship. You have SO many questions and doubts, so why don't you let him go? You know him to be a drinker (drunk often?), you characterize him as a messy person and you're still considering giving him the chance to infiltrate your life with his ugly baggage?

 

WHY? Find and/or wait for someone healthier.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

soccerrprp: I do like him and I really enjoy talking to him. I hoped that if he sorted his life out we could worked out but his behaviour makes me think that he doesn't like me that much. I do not understand why he is always around if this is the case, because I just decided to let him go.

 

I told him I am done with this situation and to call me just when he knows what he wants. I am just disappointed because I thought that at least we could be friends.

He is not a drinker, but he is prone to text when he drinks (and this is not happening every day!!)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

After giving it some thought I realized that it doesn't matter if he is really not ready or not interested. Reality is that I am always confused and miserable and this situation is lasting way too long.

 

Finally I told him that I am done making all the effort and to give me a call if he changes his mind. No holding my breath though.

 

And then I went NC. It is now one week. I miss him around but I cannot wait around someone who clearly doesn't value my company that much.

Link to post
Share on other sites
After giving it some thought I realized that it doesn't matter if he is really not ready or not interested. Reality is that I am always confused and miserable and this situation is lasting way too long.

 

Finally I told him that I am done making all the effort and to give me a call if he changes his mind. No holding my breath though.

 

And then I went NC. It is now one week. I miss him around but I cannot wait around someone who clearly doesn't value my company that much.

 

I think that you are making a mistake giving him a chance to get back into your life only to disappoint you...again. You are ALWAYS confused and miserable...no contact for a week...he is not worth it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

What I meant is that if he clears his head he can call me. I do not expect him to do it any time soon (and probably never) so i will go on with my life. I have plans to go on holiday next week and some friends are visiting me so I am not waiting at home.

 

But you are probably right saying that he will probably disappoint me again. We stop talking for one month twice and he always comes back and freaks out. On the other hand he is decent, at least he doesn't try to sleep with me and take advantage of the situation.

 

Anyway I decide to move on and start being again the happy person I used to be :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...