Confusgrrl Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 Ever since my boyfriend said "I love you" to me a few weeks ago, I have been having problems with anxiety and mini-panic attacks. Strange, considering I said it first to him a few weeks prior... I can honestly admit this is the first guy since my one, first "puppy love" that i can say i really, truely care about with all my heart, and it scares me. I know I have some abandonment issues (my dad left when I was a kid, and the only person to dump me was my first love), and I know this is what the anxiety is stemming from, but I cant seem to talk it down. He is soooo wonderful to me, and is nothing but giving and loving with me. The only thing that sometimes bothers me is that he has a lot of female friends, and talks to them a lot (and tells me all about it). Most of them have kids and are involved, so i dont know why it should bother me, but i cant seem to help it... He is also quite the flirt, but never anything past innocent teasing. I have never dated someone who is such a flirt, and I cant figure out how to stop this irrational anxiety and fear of being left. I guess i figured before, if he left me or cheated, I could write him off as a jerk, but now, as we are getting closer, my anxiety is becoming worse. I don't know what to do - I don't think he deserves to have to deal with these issues, and I am trying my best to tell myself that i have nothing to worry about- and even if things did take a turn for the worse- life will go on.... but I just want this anxiety to go away so I can enjoy being with him.... any ideas, insights, or suggestions?? Link to post Share on other sites
Netprophet Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 I've dealt with this issue on the other side, and can only say this, Honesty is the best thing in a relationship, you have to talk things out, having someone you are close to, means you have someone that wants to hear what you have to say, and who will listen. You don't have to tell him you are freaking out, just talk to him, find out what he is feeling, and slowly build up the conversation to what you are feeling, it's not always easy to talk about how someone makes you feel inside, but it is worth it to share those feelings in order not have them build up and bring you heartbreak later. Honesty leads to Trust, and trusting someone is what a relationship builds on Hope this helps Link to post Share on other sites
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