When a guy messes up...accept the apology or insisting that it is not ok?

[Cfb770099]

I´m loosely seeing this guys, mainly for sex, but he also seems very caring and gentlemanly. Today he was supposed to be at my place at a certain hour in the evening, but did not show up. He calls me around 20 minutes later apologizing. He seemed really sorry and sincere and told me he felt very bad for being so late bla bla bla.

 

He asked if he could still come over but I said no because I had figured he was not coming and had therefore decided to wear my PJs and get on with my school stuff instead (which is actually true!). I didn´t get mad at him although I was quite pissed inside, I just played it cool, let him apologize and gave him a bit of "yea-well-what-do-you-want-me-to-say"s.

He said he hoped we could do it another day soon and I should call him when I have time.

 

What should I do now to show him he can´t behave like that with me, but without acting like I´m really very offended and care too much?

Should I invite him over tomorrow since that´s when I have time, or wait a few days? I´ll be quite busy the rest of the week though so he might end up thinking I m very very mad at him because I won´t have time to see him.

[pteromom]

What should I do now to show him he can´t behave like that with me, but without acting like I´m really very offended and care too much?

Should I invite him over tomorrow since that´s when I have time, or wait a few days? I´ll be quite busy the rest of the week though so he might end up thinking I m very very mad at him because I won´t have time to see him.

 

Wait for him to call you, and don't say anything else at all about him being late the first time.

 

Who cares if he thinks you are mad at him? Let him wonder.

[BikerAccnt]

What was his reason for being late? That should play a part in deciding how to respond

[Eternal Sunshine]

Wait for him to contact you. Don't be overly accepting.

[Cfb770099]

Wait for him to call you, and don't say anything else at all about him being late the first time.

 

Who cares if he thinks you are mad at him? Let him wonder.

 

But he said I should call him when I have time. Like honestly, he almost says yes to meeting up whenever I tell him I´m free. So if I don´t call him he´ll just think I´m incredibly pissed at him and that I´m making a huge deal of this. I don´t want to give him that impression!

 

What was his reason for being late? That should play a part in deciding how to respond

 

He was supposed to only attend the first half of his practice because he´s injured, but then kept going because his shoulder was not hurting and...I don´t really remember the last part...I guess he lost track of time? Or his coach insisted on him staying a bit longer.

[Cfb770099]

Wait for him to contact you. Don't be overly accepting.

 

He did already contact me, apologized, and said I should contact him again when I want to meet up.

[clia]

But he said I should call him when I have time. Like honestly, he almost says yes to meeting up whenever I tell him I´m free. So if I don´t call him he´ll just think I´m incredibly pissed at him and that I´m making a huge deal of this. I don´t want to give him that impression!

 

Well, if you're not incredibly pissed, then just call him when you have time. What is the real issue here? You let him know you were upset and he apologized. Why worry about it anymore?

 

He was supposed to only attend the first half of his practice because he´s injured, but then kept going because his shoulder was not hurting and...I don´t really remember the last part...I guess he lost track of time? Or his coach insisted on him staying a bit longer.

 

Huh, sounds like a valid excuse to me. In my opinion, you overreacted. Being 20 minutes late one time is no big deal. I find it hard to believe that in 20 minutes you gave up on him, put on your PJs, and changed your plans for the entire night. It honestly sounds really passive aggressive.

[Cfb770099]

Well, if you're not incredibly pissed, then just call him when you have time. What is the real issue here? You let him know you were upset and he apologized. Why worry about it anymore?

 

 

 

Huh, sounds like a valid excuse to me. In my opinion, you overreacted. Being 20 minutes late one time is no big deal. I find it hard to believe that in 20 minutes you gave up on him, put on your PJs, and changed your plans for the entire night. It honestly sounds really passive aggressive.

 

Yeah ok, but the important detail here is that we´re talking about 10 pm at night. I don´t want to give the message he can just come over whenever he likes. I mean he was still at his place at 10.20pm so he would probably have been at mine not before 10:40 pm. At that point I´d say it´s ok to say I´m going to bed because 10:40 or even 10.30 pm is quite different from the 9:50-ish pm I had in my mind.

[Phantom888]

I´m loosely seeing this guys, mainly for sex,

 

If it's mainly for sex, WHO CARES how he behaves! It's not like it matters.

[phineas]

If it's mainly for sex, WHO CARES how he behaves! It's not like it matters.

 

This.

 

Also, if I screw up a woman can either accept my apology or fug off.

I wouldn't kiss ass for something as minor as being late.

 

 

I think after reading OP's posts i'd rather jerk off than deal with that kind of attitude.

seriously?

Princess much?

[crederer]

Yah it is for sex....20 minutes late's not a big deal if it's just a hook up session.

 

I think you might want more out of it than that.....

 

20 minutes late for a date is a different story than a booty call.

[Woop1337]

If the sex was great, he'd be there early. I guess he would rather practice with a hurt shoulder.

[Phantom888]

If it's a no-strings fwb booty call, you should tread carefully. We men do not appreciate drama in a no-string situation. If we wanted drama, we would opt for a real relationship.