I will not cry, I will not cry.

[myothernic2]

How was the first time crying in front of your partner? Rather it be from an argument, disagreement or over whelming moment?

 

Ladies, do you cry often? Is it easy to make you cry? Were you embarrassed the first time it happened when you tried your best not to cry and told yourself I WILL NOT CRY when I have this conversation, but...it happened anyway?

 

Fellas, does it bond you more with your lady when she cries? Does it annoy it? Does it make you feel awwwwkward?

[waiting4u]

I know it sounds awful, but I generally don't like seeing a man cry and feel like it makes them seem weak. But that's pretty much gendered bs. I think if anyone cries excessively, regardless of their gender, they need to get it together. Lol - this sounds ridiculous, but I'll leave it up anyway. No crying in baseball.

[myothernic2]

I know it sounds awful, but I generally don't like seeing a man cry and feel like it makes them seem weak. But that's pretty much gendered bs. I think if anyone cries excessively, regardless of their gender, they need to get it together. Lol - this sounds ridiculous, but I'll leave it up anyway. No crying in baseball.

 

What about yourself? Do you ever cry in front of your guy and if so, do you feel weak for doing it?

[AMusing]

Ugh, I hate crying in front of a boyfriend. My last serious ex used to get so angry at me for crying. His rationale: "My natural inclination when I'm upset is to say very mean things, to fight dirty, to raise my voice. I show you respect by not losing control in that way. The least you can do is show me the same respect by keeping your own emotions in check." For the record, these were not constant manipulative hissy fits he was getting upset over; I was crying over legitimately huge issues in our relationship. It happened 4 times in 2.5 years. I can understand his motivation, but him storming off or yelling when I was in tears... it hurt our relationship, and still deeply affects me.

 

With the current guy I try reasonably hard not to cry, but I have lost control a few times with this current guy (maybe once every 4 months or so). It's only a few tears, not sobbing, but I am quite embarrassed and angry at myself whenever I do.

 

I'm curious to see how other women respond....

[Fondue]

As a man, I was told to never cry. I never do. I just don't know how to. I also don't let emotions affect me in anyway. I try and be void of that.

 

WIth that said, seeing (or hearing) a lady cry really bothers me. It just makes me feel disturbed and sick. It also makes me feel incredibly awkward. I don't know what to do to make someone not cry, so not having a solution just makes me... feel icky. It is especially bad when you "hurt" her in someway (like breaking up) and she is there tearing up, it's really weird.

 

I was out with a girl the other day and we were riding the train, we saw a couple sitting across from us, talking in spanish. We dunno what was said, but the man starts to break down and cry. I felt so weird to see that. I also couldn't believe a man would cry like that. SO weird. THe girl I was with thought the opposite, she thought it was nice to see a man cry and thinks it is strange that I don't ever do that. She thought I was a little "selfish" for not "being able to cry," and that she feels that because she cries a lot, that it is a normal thing.

[Bito]

I cry durining sad movies when the music swells. Almost never at my own situations.

[Treasa]

I used to cry a lot, and I almost never cry anymore. It's sort of odd.

 

Anyway, I don't remember the first time I cried in front of my boyfriend, because it was 16 years ago. But he was very sweet, I'm sure.

[Babolat]

Fellas, does it bond you more with your lady when she cries? Does it annoy it? Does it make you feel awwwwkward?

 

It's situational and circumstantial...difficult question to generalize.

 

It has never annoyed me. I have never felt awkward. Bonded, maybe.

[d0nnivain]

First time I cried in front of DH we'd be dating for about 6 weeks. I found out earlier that day that my EX had died under horrible circumstances. I was so upset -- not because I wanted him back but because I wanted him to be alive. I forgot to call my then new BF & cancel our date. He showed up & found me in PJs at 6 p.m. bawling. I fell in love with him as he comforted me.

 

 

Since then, I cried at other funerals & a few times when all the BS surrounding wedding planning overwhelmed me. He always comforts me. When I cry at movies or weddings, he just rolls his eyes; if I'm lucky he'll hand me a tissue as he's laughing at me.

 

 

The only time I have seen DH cry was on our wedding day. He'll tell you he had something in his eye.

[Ruby Slippers]

I used to never let myself cry in front of anybody. I felt like it was a sign of weakness and I couldn't trust anybody enough to be that vulnerable around them.

 

Now I will let down my guard and let the emotions out with people I'm close to and trust. I've only gotten sweet reactions when I've cried in front of lovers - sympathy, hugs, sweetness, and a softening of their tone.

 

I'm touched and become very sweet and sympathetic when a lover cries in front of me. It shows me that he cares and trusts me, and I handle that with care.

[bentleychic]

BF HATES to see me cry. He's a big strong man and I swear it makes him feel so helpless and upset, especially when/if there's nothing that he can do about it. I'm afraid that I do cry more than I'd like to, but a lot of it is due to my stupid birth control making me extra emotional/hormonal.

 

BF has cried in front of me a couple of times, normally due to us/our relationship. I think he said he's cried 3x in the past few years and 2 of them were b/c of me.

[hotpotato]

My previous ex and I had our share of problems.

 

I bursted into tears during several arguments. That was the only time he seemed concerned about how I felt.

 

Im not very emotionally expressive. I was raised more like a man when it comes to showing emotions. If a man cried in front of me, or really anyone who wasnt a child, id run!

 

Ive been through some stuff, and I still dont go around crying about it. I cried in front of people for a few minutes when my dog was put to sleep. Thats about it.

 

Disney movies maks me cry, but I watch those alone.

[NJtoDC]

I am a crier, sadly. I also hate doing it, especially early on. It's a distressing and losing battle!

 

My BF, especially in person (not on the phone), is pretty good about my tears. If he can tell I'm crying because I am upset with him he will pester me til I talk it out. Sometimes I cry cause I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm frustrated, overwhelmed. He chalks it up to 'that's just the way women are'. LOL Well, at least I am.

 

Sometimes he is obtuse and doesn't know how to comfort me and I have to tell him, like I need reassurance or a hug. I wish he just knew what to do, but as long as I know what I need from him (which sometime takes me a while to figure out myself-surprisingly) he will give it to me.

 

My BF? Hasn't cried since he was a teen and his father died. This man is so even keeled emotionally that he's hard to read. A lot of early issues was my assumptions about him based on his lack of emotional response- incorrectly equating it with not caring. He doesn't get worked up often. OTOH, he likes to piss me off (tickling me, annoy me) and see me get mad...lol. He thinks it's cute and funny. Oy vay. Men.

 

I told him I expect him to cry at our wedding and when/if our children are born. He was ok with that. We shall see. lol

Edited November 22, 2013 by NJtoDC

[Grumpybutfun]

myothernic2:

Well, my wife cries when she is happy, when she is mad and when she is sad and I have differing emotions about all of that. When she is sad, I want to fix everything for her. When she is mad, I want to fix everything for her including me if I was the cause. When she is happy, I am flummoxed by that reaction but have gotten used to it. She also cries when she feel emotionally bonded during sex and that was a real eye opener. She isn't weak, she is extremely independent and strong, she just has a tender heart and is very expressive. In fact, she is very comfortable with who she is and feel very strongly about things. I like that she feels safe enough to do whatever she feels.

I have felt tears come to my eyes over the years, but I never really let them progress to falling down my face like my wife can. I don't try to control them but I usually will refocus my attention and they just go away. My go to for sadness is physical activity. I usually will go for a run ( I have ran in some crazy shoes in some crazy places before) and handle sadness the same way I handle anger. My sad and mad do not seem that different. I am a doer so instead of crying, I will act my sadness out through movement or I will try to fix my sadness. My wife says it is a release for her. I don't really see that logically, but we are different in how we express ourselves. Running/ boxing/ Tae Kwon Do is a release for me.

I don't think men are weak for crying, and I have never known men who cry over everything. It usually has to be very disturbing and or frustrating for most men to cry. Men feel just as deeply as women regardless of beliefs. We shouldn't be emasculated for expressing fear, sadness, anger or loss.

Best,

Grumps

[AHaze]

Once.

 

I got a phone call from a friend who told me the news that my other friend had been in a car crash and didn't survive, I thought it was a sick joke at first... then I heard the tone in her voice, and just broke down into tears.

 

My ex was in the same room.

 

 

If a girl thinks it's a sign of weakness for a man to cry, then I think it's a sign of weakness that she has her head shoved up her own ass, it's a natural emotion... almost a reaction, some situations just feel like taking an emotion bullet to the psyche and it's uncontrollable.

 

 

That being said, it should definitely take something quite serious to reduce a man to tears, if you're a man crying because you stumped your toe or because somebody "said something mean"... you need to toughen up.

Edited November 22, 2013 by AHaze