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Do some dating partners brush you off until you call it off?


Dude420

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I'm in a bit of a dilemma here. I've been dating this girl for over 3 months and I also work with her. Everything had been going well, great chemistry, share many things in common and are physically intimate (haven't had sex yet). Each time we hang out, we always enjoy each other's company and have a lot of fun. She is a shy and introverted (like me) girl that has grown to be very comfortable with me... or so I thought.

 

One day I decided to come up with the topic about us being together and I thought maybe we could get into something serious. Basically I asked if she wanted to be with me, because I wanted to be with her. She casually said "yes". Then I said "I suppose we can make this official", she said "Ok". She also agreed that we were on the same page.

 

Here's where it starts...

 

A couple of days later, I see her at work, but she was ignoring me the whole time and it wasn't because she was being discrete. As a couple of days go by, I figured out what was wrong and when I saw her at work, I wanted to speak with her and she said "ok, we can arrange something" I said "ok, let me know". She never called or sent a text, I saw her again at work, then she basically said "sorry, we can arrange something on this day", still never did but her excuse was that she woke up late.

 

Five days later, I sent a text basically saying that I really need to speak with you, she replied "Sure, not this weekend because so and so blah blah..." I decided to go no contact for a week to see if she would arrange something, nope, nothing.

 

So I decided to send one final message basically saying "Look, I wanted to speak with you about us being together, and perhaps you weren't ready, so I'll understand if you just want to just continue the dating phase, be friends and/or see other people".

 

She immediately responded saying that she was so sorry for brushing me off the past couple of weeks and that she was sick, worried about restarting school (which just started) and dealing with relationships at the same time. Maybe we can be friends for now, or we'll talk about it. She also said she's very awkward at getting feelings out one on one. We've agreed to meet up this week during school but she has to check her schedule first at work since it's not fixed.

 

Part of me feels that I should stick with her because we share such a deep connection and I should give her the benefit of the doubt since she's not very experienced with relationships. Everything started fantastic until the relationship talk.

 

Part of me also feels that if she actually cared about me she would at least contact me to do something during the couple of weeks of silence and not brush me off each time I initiated something. She might be purposely brushing me off so that she doesn't have to make the effort to call it off and hurt my feelings. I think a couple of weeks is enough time to give her some space.

 

One thing's for sure, if she doesn't contact me this week, I'm definitely calling it off and bring us to friend status, but I'm going to ease it so we don't end up having emotional conflicts and at least stay friendly.

 

What do you guys think?

Edited by Dude420
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Sometimes it is really hard to analyse a situation because you speak of her so highly and make her sound like such a good person. Which pushes my opinion away from you being played and her not actually liking you. I think she is just very insecure and as you say shy. If you really like this girl there is no simple answer here really you are going to have to invest some serious time into this girl to get her to trust you enough to reach what you are looking for. There is also no guarantee this will happen.

 

I say keep things going with this girl as sometimes the ones who are hard to get end up worth it, but do no let it jeopardise a chance with someone else should it arise. Get clarification from her that you are friends nothing more.

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Yeah dude, she's def not interested. Even her responses to you asking to make it official were brief, "yes" and "OK." How boring. Sounds like she just wanted to be friends and isn't feeling you like that. iI would def stop trying to talk to her. End communication now. It does not take several weeks to respond to anyone. No one is ever THAT busy. She was brushing you off because she was too embarrassed to tell you she doesn't want you pursuing her.

 

You better stop before she reports you to the HR department and you'll find yourself without a job and a sexual harassment case lol.

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