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Two questions regarding a girl I'm hanging out with


Mark1

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I met a girl a month or so a go at a bar, she was with her boyfriend at the time. Last week we started chatting on Facebook, and turns out they broke up because he was an *******. Later that week we got a drink after work together, flirted a bit, conversation got sexual, and kissed on the cheek.

 

Tonight we hung out again, and she said she really likes me, but just got out of a relationship and wants to get her life in order before we hang out more than friends. I said, "that's cool, i'll respect that. but i dig you, just so you know." And she replied, "that is exactly what I wanted to hear, thank you. i like you too."

 

We hung out and she touched me a few times, and laughed, let me kiss her on the cheek again. She made a joke about us having kids, too.

 

My question is two fold:

 

1) How should I play this? Keep hanging out with her, and let her sort herself out, but be respectful?

 

2) Why does she always try to justify herself to me? She might have 2 or 3 drinks and say, "hey just so you know I'm not a drunk" or "I'm not sloppy." Or, "I just have to text me friend, please don't think I'm being rude, okay?" etc. ALWAYS justifying herself to me. Thoughts?

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1) Yeah, hang around. It might not end up as anything serious though, depending on how broken she is from her last relationship. Whatever you do, don't listen to her talking about her ex. Tell her you won't talk about him with her if she tries.

 

2) Because her ex was a major ass, and probably got up her about stuff like that. Tell her she doesn't need to justify herself to you, ever. If she continues, just brush it off.

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Thanks to you both. She tried to mention him tonight, actually. But I quickly said, "I don't want to hear about him" and that was that, no mention of him again.

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todreaminblue

you should always be respectful to any woman or girl...thats a given so yes be respectful and take it slow...as far as justifying herself to you...its insecurity 101 ,about how you perceive her before really knowing her, it should settle once she loses that feeling of being judged she is not totally comfortable with you yet...so yes take it slow.......good luck.............. deb.......

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Is one of the reasons she may justify herself around me, because she likes me and wants me to think highly of her, or am I reading into it too much?

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bubbaganoosh

She hasn't had enough time to remove herself from her last relationship. No doubt she has a lot of "coulda, woulda, shoulda, things going on from her old boyfriend. all in all, she's only fooling herself if she thinks that she's ready to move on.

 

It takes time to separate from a previous relationship and to jump into another so soon can cause problems. My advice is to let her clear her head. If she's bringing up her old boyfriend, maybe you should listen and that can help you not make the same mistakes that he made. Still, I would take it one small step at a time. Try to take a giant step can ruin it.

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