33swf Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 give it time? I've been dating a great guy for almost 6 months now. The conversation is good, sex is good, common interests are there, intellectual equals. overall, very good beginning. last night I asked if he thought we should take a break (My mother is very ill and I've been out of town a lot). me: I thought maybe we should take a break, since I've been so distracted lately. him: ok me: well you don't have to agree so quickly (laugh) him: oh ok (laughs) me: I was just throwing it out there. what do you think? him: if it's something you need to do in order to get through this, then I understand. but I'd like to be there for you. me: I'd rather have you around than not have you around. him: I'd rather you keep me around too. him: I'm in the "like" stage right now, not in the "love" stage, but I'm weird like that, and it took me a year and a half to get there with my last girl friend. but I'm enjoying what we have. I think we should give it a reasonable amount of time and see what happens. I feel very comfortable with you which I haven't had before. most of my girlfriends have been drama and high maintenance and couldn't entertain themselves. that's one thing I like about you. you don't need constant entertaining. I'm not scared of settling down, but I'm terrified of having kids. I don't think I'd be ready for that for a couple years. there's too much I'd like to do first, like travel. so, I don't know how to take this. I wasn't thinking he'd say he was madly in love with me, because I'm not either, but I definitely see potential (which I've told him) and I do have strong feelings for him. Am I wasting my time?? Link to post Share on other sites
princess rose Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 Man, I wish every guy would be as honest as your friend is, but then we couldn't meet up here on LS! Anyway, from what you're posting, it seems that you two have your heads on pretty straight, and that you should enjoy each other's company without neccesarily giving it a label, or worrying too much what's gonna happen in the future. this is where that old cliche comes in, if it was meant to be, it will be. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted June 29, 2004 Share Posted June 29, 2004 It's not what every girl wants to hear, so I understand your disappointment. We often pretend to be more level-headed and less romantic than we feel. If he's being honest that he grows into love, and could see that possibly happening with you, then you're not necessarily wasting your time. Committed, marital love does take time. However, two things concern me. 1) He doesn't return your strong feelings at this point; he likes you. After six months, I'd hope for a more equal amount of affection on both sides. 2) He's not worried about settling down, but he's terrified of having kids. How important is that to you? I don't think you or he can anticipate he'll feel any less terrified in a couple of years. Hard to say. Would you be willing to bank on it? -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
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