buzzie2 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I remember reading once that a relationship will not last if your boyfriend cares less about you, or is not as invested in the relationship as you are. Do you believe this to be true, or is it possible for the girl to care more and still have the relationship work? The reason is said that it would not work if the girl cared more is because usually she would be taken for granted and not appreciated as much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Yeah, it can work.......for a while. I sure don't want to be in any relationship where I care more. Great recipe for getting hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 At different times one partner will care more than the other, it's just human nature. The dynamic is hard when one always cares more than the other. Oftentimes it does lead to a lot of resentment and negativly impacts the relationship. “You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.” 8 Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 agree that most R's ebb and flow...not a push/pull negative way, but just in a natural cycle. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 I 100% agree with this. where did it come from? I've heard it before as well and really believe that a guy who loves a girl more will treat her like gold. It's better imo to be with someone who loves you/likes you far more because you will get treated much better. I watched the finale of the bachelorette (don't judge!) and she eventually did pick the guy who loved her far more than she loves him. it'll work if she gives it a chance because ultimately it's better for her because her emotional needs have a better chance of being met. a girl who 'dates down' will always be the prize. and women want to be the prize. we want compliments and gifts and romance the good stuff, don't we? you'll get that when the guy loves you more and is willing to please (within reason of course). sadly, I've always been the one to love more so i'm still waiting for the reverse... Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 I believe it is perfectly possible to find a guy who is crazy about you, and who you feel the same way about. I am not going to settle for a guy that really, sort of likes me, and who I am crazy about. I am not going to settle for a guy who is crazy about me and who I only like a lot. I do, however, pick guys that are far less good looking than I am; I am still attracted to them a lot, but they tend to have less options and I am the greatest girl they have met. If you go for a super hot guy who is at or above your level, and if the guy has a lot of options, he will have higher standards as to what he considers to be amazing, and in turn, falls hard for. Link to post Share on other sites
GI_Joy Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 At different times one partner will care more than the other, it's just human nature. The dynamic is hard when one always cares more than the other. Oftentimes it does lead to a lot of resentment and negativly impacts the relationship. “You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.” This is exactly how I'd view what a good relationship would realistically be like--a sort of dynamic equilibrium. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 It's doomed if it's a power struggle. Link to post Share on other sites
007 Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 (edited) The reason is said that it would not work if the girl cared more is because usually she would be taken for granted and not appreciated as much. I Kind of agree that the relationship is doomed if the girl cares more than the guy. I was in a relationship where i cared more for my boyfriend than he did for me. At first i thought it was equal but the longer i was with him. The more obvious it was that i cared much more than he did. I did ALOT, I also put up with alot and tried extremely hard to make it work while he just did whatever he wanted. It was also an emotionally abusive relationship and he was always the one in control. Majority of the times. It was his way or the high way. He knew i cared more so he took advantage of it. It really scarred me from love because I really loved this man alot and wanted to make it work so bad and he just took advantage of it. Edited August 16, 2013 by 007 Link to post Share on other sites
crude Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 At different times one partner will care more than the other, it's just human nature. Apparently it's not human nature. Eternal Sunshine isn't going to be in a relationship where she cares more, other females in this thread are looking for a man who cares more. It seems that women are calculating and determined to care less. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 Apparently it's not human nature. Eternal Sunshine isn't going to be in a relationship where she cares more, other females in this thread are looking for a man who cares more. It seems that women are calculating and determined to care less. Being hurt in the past will do that to a person, and many will go into a relationship well guarded because of it. When both people let their guard down and open up they fall into the natural ebb and flow as referenced above. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 I remember reading once that a relationship will not last if your boyfriend cares less about you, or is not as invested in the relationship as you are. Do you believe this to be true, or is it possible for the girl to care more and still have the relationship work? The reason is said that it would not work if the girl cared more is because usually she would be taken for granted and not appreciated as much. I guess it depends on your relationship dynamics and what you are willing to put up with. Some context might help as well. If you are hopelessly involved with some guy who doesn't want to commit then you are wasting your time. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 It seems that the ideal relationship for women is one where the man cares and loves her more than vice versa. Perhaps for the woman. Then she can go out and do whatever she wants and Mr. Chump will still be there. A true relationship should be on an even keel and there shouldn't be any push-pull or trust issues. Link to post Share on other sites
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