kariina Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 I've been away for vacations and won't see the guy I've been dating until 2 more weeks. We have 5 months Dating and we are not official. Yesterday I was chatting with my friend and she told me that she found the guy I've been dating in a website called "Badoo". It's like a place where girls and guys meet kinda like a dating website but not so much. Anyways she sent me the link to his profile. To my surprise when I went in, it said he was ONLINE NOW! Not only that but I went down and it said his Facebook was connected to his account but it said only "2 friends". I have him on facebook and know that he has like 180 friends, not 2. So I went into facebook and searched by his nickname and boom he came out. He only had 2 friends that were girls which had been added really recently. I don't really know what to think of this. I'm surprised he is still talking to more girls when he has been dating me 5 months! We are not official and I understand we can talk to other people but its been 5 months already and this really surprised me. I need advice Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Have you slept with him? I'm old school, I believe that once you've slept with someone you're dating, there should be a presumption of fidelity. Others disagree. As such I'd be telling him to sling his hook, and if he tried to trot out the "but we never said we were official" line, I'd be saying that I hope that thought keeps him warm at night. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 If you're not official and haven't talked about exclusivity, then he's free to date other women, right? But this clearly bothers you. I think the problem isn't that he's thinking about dating others (or already dating others), it's that you haven't defined the parameters of your relationship. I think you need to talk to him about this asap... if you're exclusive and he's not, that's a recipe for disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Have you slept with him? I'm old school, I believe that once you've slept with someone you're dating, there should be a presumption of fidelity. Others disagree. As such I'd be telling him to sling his hook, and if he tried to trot out the "but we never said we were official" line, I'd be saying that I hope that thought keeps him warm at night. I also believe that if I'm sleeping with someone, it's in an exclusive arrangement. BUT- I don't sleep with someone without having "the talk" about said exclusivity first. Also +1 that if he says he's not ready for exclusivity, I'd walk. Plenty of fish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 - I don't sleep with someone without having "the talk" about said exclusivity first. . Me too. I definitely think though that after 5 months, her assumption isn't unrealistic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kariina Posted August 12, 2013 Author Share Posted August 12, 2013 No we haven't had sex Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Then have the discussion with him, pronto. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Five months of dating...not official...no sex...he's still on dating sites? This doesn't look good. How old are you two, and how often do you see each other when you are not on vacation? How often does he contact you? Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Are you showing him that you're interested in him and interested in something more? Like, are you giving him the impression that you'd like a relationship with him, or is it strictly hanging out? If you're not having sex after 5 months and no parameters were ever established, he's probably looking for a girl that'll give him these things. Maybe he thinks you're not interested (or not interested ENOUGH), so he's looking elsewhere until he figures out where your relationship is headed? EDIT: Also, you're away for 2 more weeks. He probably getting lonely, or is losing interest. Again, especially if there isn't much of a relationship there, he doesn't have much to look forward too-- even more so when sex isn't involved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woop1337 Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 5 months of dating, not bf/gf, and no sex? So you guys are...friends. How many dates have you guys had? Do you even live in the same city? By now, someone should've asked someone for exclusivity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kariina Posted August 12, 2013 Author Share Posted August 12, 2013 Five months of dating...not official...no sex...he's still on dating sites? This doesn't look good. How old are you two, and how often do you see each other when you are not on vacation? How often does he contact you? We are both 20 and have only had 1 bf/gf in the past. He texts me everyday and when I'm back in the same city as him for the university we hang out every weekend. We are both virgins. Link to post Share on other sites
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