Talking To a Shy Girl

[Skyraider829]

Hello everyone,

 

I'm totally new to this forum and this website. I came here because I need knowledge, lots of it - about women. Especially, shy women.

To tell you a little about myself, I am 20 years old, currently getting ready to start either college or flight school fairly soon, the reason I didn't start earlier like most do is because of very frequent relocation over the past couple of years that would have made it very, very difficult to do so (I've moved 23 times in 20 years) hence that's the cause of my little academic hiatus.

 

I have, never, I repeat - NEVER had a girlfriend before. I know its got to be pathetic, but I just never gave it any thought. I have had friends who were girls, gotten along with them very well and all but no actual, literal "girlfriend".

 

Firstly, I am sorry if this long and drawn-out, but I'm trying to give significant detail over my situation and what I should do about it. So here it goes...

 

I live in Florida, and have been here around six months so far. I live in a nice little neighborhood, and but don't really know anyone around here except for our neighbor across the street. Over the past month or so, I've noticed this girl who walks her dogs around the block every evening, and she's been here longer than that, but I've just never really paid any attention to her being here. My mother's boyfriend, whom we are living with, told me that she's relatively new around here, and would occasionally tease me, telling me that I should go "make a new friend", and "see if she wants to hook up", just little jokes like that since he knows I have no girlfriend. I would just blow it off, and joke back saying I'm not interested, which I really wasn't (but that has changed a bit) and nothing has come up since.

 

Over time though, after he pointed this out to me, and the fact that she's kind of new around here, I began wondering about her more often, getting curious about who she is, where she came from and so on. She's certainly a pretty gal, no doubt about it but she also seems like a kind, and nice person as well. For a while I'd see her stroll on by, but I would refrain from initiating any degree of contact, for uncertainty had me frozen in what I should say.

 

A side note: I really, really SUCK at initiating contact with a girl in person, I just do not have the skill down yet.

 

Eventually, as coincidence would have it - I was outdoors with my mother's boyfriend's two daughters, as we were looking at this kitten next door that appeared to be lost. I turned around and walked over to the mailbox to check and see if any mail had come, and as I was finishing up, I looked up and there she was, walking on by. I immediately looked over to see where his daughters went, and then glanced at her for a second and as I did, she looked at me and said "Hi" and smiled. I sort of cracked a little smile back at her, said "Hello.." and started to walk up the driveway. This was the first time I saw her up close and I must say, she was definitely striking, and very beautiful. I felt like my stomach fell to the ground when she smiled, LOL.

 

Okay, she said hi, no big deal. Just a casual greeting. That's all I thought of it.

 

But as she proceeds down the street, one of the dogs she's walking wanders off into the grass to sniff around so she stops. And then she looks back at me for a few seconds. I continued up the driveway, and she moved on some more, only to stop again as the other dog sniffed about, and she looked back again. I looked at her back for a second and then moved on. I still didn't think much of this, but as I mulled it over, it did seem a little perplexing. Now, I could tell by the way she said hi, that she is a little on the shy side. But I think that's quite common for some girls so I thought nothing significant about it.

 

I told Kirk (my mom's boyfriend), who is a good friend to me, about this and he suggested I ask her out. When I heard this I was slightly shocked because all that happened was just a brief exchange of "hi" and "hello" between us. I thought how could that justify asking her out? I would think that would be considered as coming on too hard or even rude, especially if its just saying hello to each other. Anyhow, three days later I saw her coming around the corner so I decided to head out, be brave and ask a little about her. And this I did. I asked her how her evening was going, in which she replied it "was going good" and she asked me how I was doing, in which I told her I was doing great. Then, with my brain in overdrive, I accidently said "How're you?" again which made me embarrassed as could be, and she looked at me and laughed kindly. I then was somehow able to beef up to the point to where I walked up to her and inquired about what breed of dogs she had (this wasn't just a lead-in, I was genuinely curious) and she told me about them, and their names and that one of them unfortunately had an ear infection. I then introduced myself, told her my name and she told me her name was Sarah. We talked for a couple of minutes about the dogs and her day, and then said bye and went about our day. She was really, really nice, which I greatly enjoyed, and not only that but I kept fighting the urge to blush because she is such a beautiful girl; platinum blonde hair, fair-skinned, gorgeous white smile and light green eyes and fit. The thing that bothers me, is that I am thinking that I gave away the fact that I do think she's attractive, from my occasional stammering and slight reluctance to stare her in the eyes for too long.

 

It was also from this meeting, that I confirmed that she is the shy-type.

 

I met her again yesterday, and found out where she moved here from which was Kentucky, and talked for a minute or so, then told her to have a cool and great evening (hot summers here in Florida as you know) to which she told me the same. She always greets me with a smile and stops to talk. But her shyness, it makes her hard to read. I like the fact that she is kind of shy, because she has this really sweet personality, she's soft-spoken and light-hearted and polite, this just makes her really cute.

 

I don't just find this girl to be attractive, but I really would like to know her, and if possible, befriend her. She just seems like a really great person on top of my attraction to her, and that is also what makes me so interested in her. I don't want to assume that she likes me in *that* way, as she is hard to read but then again, some signals are confusing. I'm just a little bamboolzed by her. Either way, I would like to know her casually first and foremost.

 

So with that all out of the way, how can I approach this situation in the most polite and correct way? I only want to make her to feel comfortable and at ease, so that maybe we could hang sometime. How do you get past the shyness barrier? Any stories, suggestions or facts would be very welcome.

 

Thanks for sticking with the story, I appreciate any help.

[Nick D1980]

Get her to open up. Ask questions.

 

Did you compliement her?

 

And it is not pathetic to be 20 and not have a gf. I'm in my 30's and haven't had a gf. I call myself pathetic at age 30 something and not have a gf, but it is what it is.

[Skyraider829]

Hey there, thanks for the response.

 

I did come across her again this evening whilst out on a ride, and began to chat with her. I actually did talk longer with her this time than before and we had quite a nice little conversation, and found what out school she's going to and so on, plus I added that I would catch her later sometime and she replied "okay", so I shall keep up on this and see where it may go.

 

I hope all goes well for you if you are seeking a GF.

[Skyraider829]

I haven't really "complimented" her in that way, just yet. I'm still waiting for a more evident oppurtunity.

[Nick D1980]

That's good man.

 

Yup I'm trying. Been on one date after beating around the bush for months back in 04.

Like I said, it is what it is and I got to be more confident.

 

The thing that bothers me, is that I am thinking that I gave away the fact that I do think she's attractive, from my occasional stammering and slight reluctance to stare her in the eyes for too long.

 

About that, us males love what we see. Sure you may think you revealed a little much but that is us being males.

[theloyalone1]

Nick D1980

 

Hi nick I see your in Torrance.

Have you heard of the inland empire?

[CM2009]

Wow Nick I'm right around the corner, I live in Carson. But anyways I use to be shy myself and from time to time I can be but as I've gotten older it started to become easier to initiate conversation with woman. Majority of them will talk with you and if play your cards right you might get her number. But it all begins with the approach, and just from reading your post on this thread I can tell that your a gentleman and won't make things awkward. Just be confident when you speak to her and I'm sure you'll do just fine.

[theloyalone1]

Cali in the house!

[Skyraider829]

Thanks for replying, I really do appreciate the comments. I'm just new to all of this.

 

I'm gradually speaking to her more and more, and its seeming to get easier. It was no simple feat walking up to her and talking, but I think I held my own quite well for the first time. You see, I'm a confident person, but when approaching some gal that I like, well...The confidence takes a little vacation.

 

Thanks for the nice compliment, I always act like a gentleman around women, its just the right thing to do.

 

Yesterday evening I came across her right when the sun was setting (perfect time to chat with a wonderful girl, right?) and spoke to her some more, and we had a longer chat, asking her about where she's going to school, and how she likes the area and Florida and all. I'm still not too sure, but it appears she may be warming up to me more. I have yet to really sit and down and talk with her for a decent period of time, but that is something that I'm going to work on next. I'm taking it one step at a time.

 

But holy cow, is she beautiful - especially in the sunset.

 

She really does have a wonderful personality, and I'm liking her more so now after these little conversations we've been having. I'll go with the flow and see it develops.

[Skyraider829]

LOL, yeah the confidence in the presence of females seems to somewhat dissipate now doesn't it? I wonder why. Something about the male psyche?

 

Man, she is one gorgeous person. I'm a sucker for nice smiles and well, she's just got that really fantastic smile.

[Nick D1980]

LOL, yeah the confidence in the presence of females seems to somewhat dissipate now doesn't it? I wonder why. Something about the male psyche?

 

Man, she is one gorgeous person. I'm a sucker for nice smiles and well, she's just got that really fantastic smile.

If she's that attractive the way you describe her, you better go in for the kill. Someone that attractive doesn't stay on the market for long. Trust me, all the attractive ones I liked had bfs already.

 

 

Yes I've heard of the IE.

 

Sometimes I need a good conversation starter, so you're lucky. And most of the time when I don't find the girl attractive, no problems talking to them.

The last number I got, I texted her and never got a response...Oh well and she lived in Fullerton and she seemed like a shy person herself.

Edited July 28, 2013 by Nick D1980

[theloyalone1]

Nick-

Glad u know about the IE. Lol

Most LA veterans aren't familiar

With it. Don't knw why. Lol.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Carson here as well. I'd say make a move. Not everyone likes shy girls though, so you do have to consider the possibility she may not open up.

[Nick D1980]

Nick-

Glad u know about the IE. Lol

Most LA veterans aren't familiar

With it. Don't knw why. Lol.

I mean who hasn't heard of the IE? lol

I mean Coachella is out there who likes to rock out to music.

The only close to a Coachella music fest i went to was the Kroq Weenie Roast.

 

I bet she will open up. It takes me a minute to open up too and get comfortable.

[Skyraider829]

Yeah, hopefully she will. I kind of found out that we have something in common, apparently she wants to become a nurse, and for quite a while when I was little, I had a profound interest in cardiology. So I'm gonna try to kickstart a little chat about medicine and possible other interests with her hopefully this evening.

 

You all have a swell evening!

Edited July 28, 2013 by Skyraider829

[theloyalone1]

Southern cali-

Welcome carson!!!

What's wrong with shy girls. Lol

I'm a little shy especially if we just

Met. To be honest, If a guy were to

Ask me out on a first date doing

A challenge like game of pool,

Golf, etc my shyness would diminish

B/c I'm focused on winning but if

I'm at a "dinner date" , I'm a little

Nervous *blush*

 

Nick-

Lol. I remember telling people

In LA have they heard of ontario

And did u know I got a reply

Like "oh you mean in canada?"

Haahahaa. I just had a blank stare lol

[callingyouuu]

Born and raised in Central Florida and spent the last few years in the Bay Area, so I guess I bridge the geographic gap in this thread.

 

I also feel like the time might be about right to set up a date. More because I think these surreptitious run-ins can only go so far and might seem stale after a while. Awesome about the common interest in medicine, though I might save it for the date itself.

[Skyraider829]

Yeah, I'm planning on asking her what got her interested in going to school to become a nurse, that ought to be a somewhat decent conversation I hope. I'm still working on reaching that point when I will ask her out, but I feel I need to know her better. I'm just approaching this as a gentlemen first and foremost.

[Moe'sTavern]

Yeah, I'm planning on asking her what got her interested in going to school to become a nurse, that ought to be a somewhat decent conversation I hope. I'm still working on reaching that point when I will ask her out, but I feel I need to know her better. I'm just approaching this as a gentlemen first and foremost.

Just don't get stuck on being the gentleman and forget to ask her out.

[Skyraider829]

Really? It doesn't quite seem that way, I have been around the non-shy type and she differs somewhat from them, in the fact that she's shy. Not like, complete introvert, as in she doesn't talk at all, never initiates a greeting or other things. She's just kind of shy, but in a cute way.

[Skyraider829]

No, no not at all. Just because I'm a gentleman doesn't imply that I will not ask her out. I'm just in the process of feeling it out, and I really prefer to take the approach of getting to know her, get completely comfortable talking to her and then push it up to asking about a possible date, a casual one obviously - and then go from that point on.

[Skyraider829]

LOL, yeah will this isn't gonna be some dinner date - just a casual outing maybe for coffee or lunch, something like that.

[bubbaganoosh]

I think the problem here is that both of you are shy so it comes down to something like this. One of you are going to have to take the plunge and go from "Hi, hello, how are ya, how about this day and just ask her if she would like to go out to lunch with you and talk? She's either going to say yes, no, or when. If she says yes, make plans for lunch and take her to a place where she feels comfortable and you can find out more about her and she, about you, rather than talking with a bunch of dogs on the side walk. If there's a connection, well then make plans for another day. Ask for her number and give her a call. Times a wasting friend. You just might find your first girlfriend and if she's everything that your telling us that she is, don't wait too long or she might be gone. Balls in your corner friend. Good luck.

[callingyouuu]

I really prefer to take the approach of getting to know her, get completely comfortable talking to her and then push it up to asking about a possible date, a casual one obviously - and then go from that point on.

 

I would argue that the casual date should be a part of getting comfortable in talking to her and getting to know her, so it should come earlier.

[Skyraider829]

I don't think the casual date will be coming to fruition anytime soon. She's starting school sometime after August, down in Fort Myers (about 90 minutes south of where I am) and I haven't seen her lately. I'm presuming she must've already left although I'm not too sure as I don't know when her classes actually begin this month. The last I saw her was on Saturday I believe.