Mixed Signals from Him?

[brittneyfoster]

This guy that I have been dating for a few weeks is confusing me at this point. We have been intimate and told me after being intimate that he would like for me to leave clothes at his house, he didn't want to share me with anyone, and that he liked me even more. Then a few days later, his phone apparently got stolen one day and he had to go retrieve it the next morning. After that, I kind of took a step back because I just don't trust people. He contacted me the next morning asking me to come to his job so that we could talk, but I was working and I told him I couldn't. He proceeded to go into this long drawn out story about what happened to his phone, but I wasn't really buying it. We texted for a while during the day and he called me that night. I missed his call and then called him back but he said he was already sleeping by then. The next morning he called me at like 8:30 and I told him I was working and couldn't talk. I gave him my office number and told him I had to go to a briefing but I would let him know when I got back. He called me that afternoon and we spoke for a few minutes. I was a little distant as the entire "stolen phone" situation wasn't sitting well with me. However that night he texted me and just said "Hey" and I responded back with "Hey" and asked him if he got the pictures that I sent him of my friends and I about to go out. He said he did and that they were beautiful. Did I take them today? I responded and "Yeah, I did. I hope you have a good night" because my phone was dying.

 

The next day he texted me and said Good Morning. He hoped I had a good day and it seemed like I didn't want to talk to him the night before so he left me alone. I hope you have a good day." I explained to him that my phone was dying and I was out with my friends so that's why I said good night. I told him that maybe we needed to talk face to face and see each other to talk about things perhaps. I told him I knew that he was going to spend Fathers Day with his children but to let me know when he is free. He responded and said "I will definitely let you know when I am free because I would def like to see you again." and I said "Cool. I was like you know you didn't really say much last night to respond to." and he says "I didn't want to sound excited and get shut down by you." and I said "Well, I do have trust issues and I am not mad at all, but sometimes when things don't make sense to me then I like to sit back and chill until it starts to make sense to me." and he didn't respond but he did call me later that night and we talked for about 30 minutes until his family came in the house being loud and he asked was I going to be up and I said "Good night!" lol because I know he has a habit of calling back sometimes, so I didn't wanna promise to stay up if he wasn't going to call.

 

The next day was Fathers Day and I wished him Happy Fathers Day and he sent one text and that was it. I responded but he didn't. Of course yesterday he initiated a Good Morning text telling me that he hoped I had a great weekend with my father and he hoped I had a wonderful day. I responded and sent him another text but no response. I know he got my texts and I know he saw them because he posted a couple of times via Instagram.

 

What is his deal?

[undergroundlife13]

Youve only been dating a few weeks.

 

Sounds like he was into you, his phone could have gotten stolen you dont know it didnt for a fact.

 

You told him you were confused and at this point you dont seem too into him.

 

Id tell him you like him and go from there...dont let your trust issues interfere with him.

[brittneyfoster]

How do I not seem into him? And I sent him three texts yesterday...one even saying "Hey. I was thinking about you! I have been really busy with work and saw you didn't respond." and I texted him "Good night! Hope youre alright!" because I text him that every night.

 

At this point, he has not responded to ANY of my texts. I'm not even sure I should reach out anymore.

[undergroundlife13]

Prior to that you didnt seem interested, i would send a text explaining that you are into him and youre sorry for saying you were confused and leave it (or call him)

 

If he doesnt say anything then youll know where you stand

[brittneyfoster]

Well, I am confused on where I stand since he texted me yesterday morning to then only not respond to me.

[undergroundlife13]

He seemed very into you

 

then you told him you were confused about things, were distant on the phone, abd told him you like "to chill on things"

 

He probably took that as he needs to chill too.

[brittneyfoster]

Alright, so I guess I will try texting him. I feel like really needy for texting him again.

[undergroundlife13]

I would recommend calling him, and if he doesnt answer leave a voicemail.

 

Then leave it.

[brittneyfoster]

When I go on my lunch break, I will call. His behavior is really confusing. There was no real reason for him to text me Good Morning. Have a great day and hope you had a great weekend to only then ignore me altogether. That's the only reason I am hesitant to call him.

[amkxoxo]

Sounds like he definitely like you, but watch out. sometimes these guys can be playing games. He knows if he doesn't text you in a while you will wonder where he is and contact him. Feeding right into the lion's den. Since you have been dating a few weeks he is still playing trying to win you over. Play Harder. Don't text him back for a few days. Then just randomely call him and want to make plans. It shows you have a life for yourself and he will be sitting wondering where you are. Flirt. You can still flirt and date without fully trusting him. It sounds like he cares about your life and what you do everyday. Thats nice and sweet. See where it goes and don't get in your head, because it causes paranoid thoughts and you second guess it. Just see where it goes.

[brittneyfoster]

Alright undergroundlife. He and I talked that day. I told him that I was just calling for a second to make sure that he was alive and well, but that was it. He was like "No, no, no. I want to talk to you". We talked for about an hour and a half and I think I mentioned in the other thread that he talked about his children's mother, which turned me off a bit.

 

He and I spoke again the next day before bed. And then I texted him and I told him that maybe we should kinda fall back from one another because I wasn't sure how he felt about his children's mother. He was like "No, I'm sorry. It's not like that at all. I guess sometimes I am frustrated when I think about it, but it's not like that at all. I am really sorry. I won't talk about her to you anymore." and although I said I didn't think we should talk anymore, I don't think he took it that way. We didn't speak that night and we didn't speak until yesterday afternoon when he texted and said "Hi how are you doing?" and then I responded and NO response! And I texted him good night and still no response.

 

I texted him a little while ago and said "Hey, and I hope you're having a great day. I'm going to just put it out there but when you text me am I not supposed to respond? Because you continuously test me and then ignore any future responses. I try to give you space since you say you're busy so much but I am not quite sure how to respond."

 

Thoughts?!

[amkxoxo]

This is a game. He apologizes up a wall to you but he probably isn't going to change for you. I knwo its harsh but trust me, I dealiing with a similar situation. He isn't going to change for me and I have to accept him the way he is and his lifestyle, or I need to distace myself. You tried to distance yourself, to make your life less stressful, but he rails you in like a fish. He seems to have a lot of pent up issues in his life, especially between the mother of his children and he. There could be other things you don't know about yet too. He is using you to vent, which if you are okay with it then your his new shoulder to lean on, but it doesn't seem like you are. My guy talks about his ex girlfriends a lot to me and sometimes it gets me sad, but he explains its because he doesn't have a lot of friends so they were kind of it. I take it in stride most of the time. Be careful if you continue to pursue him. Seems like he neeeds to get his life together before he can be with you.

[brittneyfoster]

This is a game. He apologizes up a wall to you but he probably isn't going to change for you. I knwo its harsh but trust me, I dealiing with a similar situation. He isn't going to change for me and I have to accept him the way he is and his lifestyle, or I need to distace myself. You tried to distance yourself, to make your life less stressful, but he rails you in like a fish. He seems to have a lot of pent up issues in his life, especially between the mother of his children and he. There could be other things you don't know about yet too. He is using you to vent, which if you are okay with it then your his new shoulder to lean on, but it doesn't seem like you are. My guy talks about his ex girlfriends a lot to me and sometimes it gets me sad, but he explains its because he doesn't have a lot of friends so they were kind of it. I take it in stride most of the time. Be careful if you continue to pursue him. Seems like he neeeds to get his life together before he can be with you.

 

Thank you so much for giving me this input because I feel the same way. It's like why are you even texting me. He always initiates the contact, but then does this pull away or whatever it is he is doing. I am not really sure what the deal is, but I feel like that's the case for me as well. This is why I am pretty stand offish with guys because these types of issues.

[brittneyfoster]

This guy that I have been dating for a few weeks is confusing me at this point. We have been intimate and told me after being intimate that he would like for me to leave clothes at his house, he didn't want to share me with anyone, and that he liked me even more. Then a few days later, his phone apparently got stolen one day and he had to go retrieve it the next morning. After that, I kind of took a step back because I just don't trust people. He contacted me the next morning asking me to come to his job so that we could talk, but I was working and I told him I couldn't. He proceeded to go into this long drawn out story about what happened to his phone, but I wasn't really buying it. We texted for a while during the day and he called me that night. I missed his call and then called him back but he said he was already sleeping by then. The next morning he called me at like 8:30 and I told him I was working and couldn't talk. I gave him my office number and told him I had to go to a briefing but I would let him know when I got back. He called me that afternoon and we spoke for a few minutes. I was a little distant as the entire "stolen phone" situation wasn't sitting well with me. However that night he texted me and just said "Hey" and I responded back with "Hey" and asked him if he got the pictures that I sent him of my friends and I about to go out. He said he did and that they were beautiful. Did I take them today? I responded and "Yeah, I did. I hope you have a good night" because my phone was dying.

 

The next day he texted me and said Good Morning. He hoped I had a good day and it seemed like I didn't want to talk to him the night before so he left me alone. I hope you have a good day." I explained to him that my phone was dying and I was out with my friends so that's why I said good night. I told him that maybe we needed to talk face to face and see each other to talk about things perhaps. I told him I knew that he was going to spend Fathers Day with his children but to let me know when he is free. He responded and said "I will definitely let you know when I am free because I would def like to see you again." and I said "Cool. I was like you know you didn't really say much last night to respond to." and he says "I didn't want to sound excited and get shut down by you." and I said "Well, I do have trust issues and I am not mad at all, but sometimes when things don't make sense to me then I like to sit back and chill until it starts to make sense to me." and he didn't respond but he did call me later that night and we talked for about 30 minutes until his family came in the house being loud and he asked was I going to be up and I said "Good night!" lol because I know he has a habit of calling back sometimes, so I didn't wanna promise to stay up if he wasn't going to call.

 

I texted him on Fathers Day and he sends one response and nothing more. The next day he texted again, and I responded but nothing more from him.

 

So I decided to give him a call, and he and I talked that day. I told him that I was just calling for a second to make sure that he was alive and well, but that was it. He was like "No, no, no. I want to talk to you". We talked for about an hour and a half and I think I mentioned in the other thread that he talked about his children's mother, which turned me off a bit.

 

He and I spoke again the next day before bed. And then I texted him and I told him that maybe we should kinda fall back from one another because I wasn't sure how he felt about his children's mother. He was like "No, I'm sorry. It's not like that at all. I guess sometimes I am frustrated when I think about it, but it's not like that at all. I am really sorry. I won't talk about her to you anymore." and although I said I didn't think we should talk anymore, I don't think he took it that way. We didn't speak that night and we didn't speak until yesterday afternoon when he texted and said "Hi how are you doing?" and then I responded and NO response! And I texted him good night and still no response.

 

I texted him a little while ago and said "Hey, and I hope you're having a great day. I'm going to just put it out there but when you text me am I not supposed to respond? Because you continuously test me and then ignore any future responses. I try to give you space since you say you're busy so much but I am not quite sure how to respond." He has still not responded.

[Keke1]

Did his phone get stolen? Crap he already used that excuse.

[brittneyfoster]

Did his phone get stolen? Crap he already used that excuse.

 

LMBO!!! Right!? I am so hella frustrated.

[Keke1]

I'm guessing so take it with a grain. Your clothes aren't the only female clothes at his house.

[brittneyfoster]

I'm guessing so take it with a grain. Your clothes aren't the only female clothes at his house.

 

I think what confuses me the most is that I don't reach out to him; he reaches out to me, so why play the games? It's not like he's having to shake off this super annoying girl...not at all...it's just the opposite.

[Keke1]

I think what confuses me the most is that I don't reach out to him; he reaches out to me, so why play the games? It's not like he's having to shake off this super annoying girl...not at all...it's just the opposite.

 

I'm not sure. Why don't you reach out to him? Some men like that. He probably thinks you may have other things going on. He doesn't sound trustworthy to me.

[brittneyfoster]

I'm not sure. Why don't you reach out to him? Some men like that. He probably thinks you may have other things going on. He doesn't sound trustworthy to me.

 

Why doesn't he sound trustworthy?

 

I don't reach out for this very reason. I like to give a man his space to be himself, live his life, and not be crowded by a needy woman. Men can be very fickle creatures, and I have been treated the way he is doing me right now in the past but I was always calling and texting. Now, I believe that a man who is interested will call when he has the time to talk or cares to be bothered. I guess it's a lesson that I really took to heart from the past, so I never try to bother guys. I am more likely to send a text and let them know I am thinking of them than call.

[Keke1]

Losing his phone and now not responding. Perhaps he has moved on before he gets toooooo emotionally involved. You just met a couple of weeks ago right?

Wait until he contacts you. He may have an even better excuse than losing his phone for you to fall for.

[brittneyfoster]

Losing his phone and now not responding. Perhaps he has moved on before he gets toooooo emotionally involved. You just met a couple of weeks ago right?

Wait until he contacts you. He may have an even better excuse than losing his phone for you to fall for.

 

Yep, we just met a couple of weeks ago.

 

That's the thing. I never fell for the stolen phone story. I told him it didn't make a lot of sense to me, and I typically take a seat back until things start to make sense to me.

[Keke1]

Yep, we just met a couple of weeks ago.

 

That's the thing. I never fell for the stolen phone story. I told him it didn't make a lot of sense to me, and I typically take a seat back until things start to make sense to me.

 

Well he's put you in a bad spot. That's all you can do is wait. Do you have other dating options? I wouldn't wait around for the run around. Could be in the hospital or something like that though so hear him out but IMO he's already told you a bogus story. Be wary and keep your antennas up. If you forgive him again you're setting up failure later on down the road

[amkxoxo]

I hate to admit it because I am having a hard with this in my own situation, but if a guy likes you they will make you theirs. He is holding you close, but not giving you what you deserve. Don't settle and wait around. It will hurt you. Trust me. Good Luck.

[brittneyfoster]

Well he's put you in a bad spot. That's all you can do is wait. Do you have other dating options? I wouldn't wait around for the run around. Could be in the hospital or something like that though so hear him out but IMO he's already told you a bogus story. Be wary and keep your antennas up. If you forgive him again you're setting up failure later on down the road

 

Of course! I'm talking to several different guys, but I was most interested in this guy. He even asked on our first date how many guys I was talking to, and I told him a few. It caught me off guard because I didn't think that was his business so soon.

 

LOL @ being in the hospital. It's always something it seems. This is why when he was trying to talk relationships and talk serious stuff so soon...I didn't really respond because I didn't want to fall victim to the "Player Talk". I have been admittingly standoffish because I like to watch what a man does. Some people say I may have pushed him away because he was showing a lot of interest initially, and I just don't get it because I don't want to rush anything with anyone at this point...so if you take that as me not being interested or w/e the case is...then there is nothing I can do about that...