Wesker Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Well somewhat. I've been unsubscribed, and hidden on Match for a few months now. Back in February, I had messaged a girl. Unlike most knobs on those sites, I actually read their profiles, and ask a question/comment with something about it. I also don't do the whole email bomb to several women at once either. But back on to topic. I sent the message, and of course no response. Subscription ends, and I move on. Flash forward to last night. I'm out with a buddy at a club. These 2 girls actually come up to us. One of them looked vaguely familiar, yet I couldn't recall where. Naturally we start talking, buying some drinks, etc. Even a little grinding on the dance floor. Maybe it was the lighting, but I suddenly remembered where I saw this chick. Not only was it on Match, but it was actually the chick I had messaged which of course I got no response. And here she is now talking, dancing, and having some kind of interest in me. She obviously didn't recognize me, or at least didn't let on she had seen me before. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get any digits at the end of the night. However, the point of the story is that this pretty much proves how chicks online are way more choosy, picky, call it what you will, than in face to face situations. I couldn't get a simple response online, yet she was more than willing to have a conversation with me in person. I suppose OLD does have it's perks for some people, but this has given me a new perspective if I ever decide to plunk down another $25 for a month of no responses, or chicks just up and disappearing. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Yes, this is why OLD sucks for guys. The same thing happened to me multiple times. In fact, I messaged my current girlfriend on OLD, only to not have her reply. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
apple OR orange Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 how i read this is... no response from her online no number in real life see the pattern here, shes a user, she wont get anything from you online, she got a drink from you in real life, meaning she opened her mouth and talked. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 This makes sense to me. In my experience I come across way better in real life social situations than online. In real life people get to see all of me and that overall I am a pretty decent looking, decent acting person. Online one is reduced to a few pictures, text, and stereotypes. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 how i read this is... no response from her online no number in real life see the pattern here, shes a user, she wont get anything from you online, she got a drink from you in real life, meaning she opened her mouth and talked. Well, I mean we don't know all of the details of their interaction, just bits and pieces. But it is a good illustration of why one shouldn't buy drinks for women at bars/clubs. I've never done it once in my life (well, once after getting a handjob from the girl in the back of the club ) and I've had TONS of success in that arena. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Well somewhat. I've been unsubscribed, and hidden on Match for a few months now. Back in February, I had messaged a girl. Unlike most knobs on those sites, I actually read their profiles, and ask a question/comment with something about it. I also don't do the whole email bomb to several women at once either. But back on to topic. I sent the message, and of course no response. Subscription ends, and I move on. Flash forward to last night. I'm out with a buddy at a club. These 2 girls actually come up to us. One of them looked vaguely familiar, yet I couldn't recall where. Naturally we start talking, buying some drinks, etc. Even a little grinding on the dance floor. Maybe it was the lighting, but I suddenly remembered where I saw this chick. Not only was it on Match, but it was actually the chick I had messaged which of course I got no response. And here she is now talking, dancing, and having some kind of interest in me. She obviously didn't recognize me, or at least didn't let on she had seen me before. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get any digits at the end of the night. However, the point of the story is that this pretty much proves how chicks online are way more choosy, picky, call it what you will, than in face to face situations. I couldn't get a simple response online, yet she was more than willing to have a conversation with me in person. I suppose OLD does have it's perks for some people, but this has given me a new perspective if I ever decide to plunk down another $25 for a month of no responses, or chicks just up and disappearing. Old is different to meeting someone in person I much prefer to meet in person than from old....old makes me insecure..i am still on it tryign it out....and i do get jumpy even though i am ready to date...i watch too many horror flicks i think........also because i have had some not so good experiences on there......who knows why she didn't message you back...sometimes writing mail, can come across flat even though you as a person are not so.......just goes to show you dont need old i agree...best wishes ..deb Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 She may have also been drinking while you saw her in person, whereas she probably wasnt while checking you out online. She probably just had her beer goggles on at the club. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wesker Posted May 12, 2013 Author Share Posted May 12, 2013 Well, I mean we don't know all of the details of their interaction, just bits and pieces. But it is a good illustration of why one shouldn't buy drinks for women at bars/clubs. I've never done it once in my life (well, once after getting a handjob from the girl in the back of the club ) and I've had TONS of success in that arena. I hear ya. Luckily for me, I only paid for 1 round. My buddy must have gotten a different vibe from them since he was more than willing to buy at least 2. They did order up a round of shots if that says anything.. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 She obviously didn't recognize me, or at least didn't let on she had seen me before. It sounds like you didn't let on, either. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get any digits at the end of the night. Not even with the benefit of a genuine "Don't I know you from somewhere?" line? Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 I hear ya. Luckily for me, I only paid for 1 round. My buddy must have gotten a different vibe from them since he was more than willing to buy at least 2. They did order up a round of shots if that says anything.. Next time, say something like "You get the first round. I'll get the second." Either the girls will get really pissed or will actually do it. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Again, for me OLD has been very good. I have had dates on all of the major sites. No flaky (not too...) women as far as I could tell. Just not the right time, my own issues, other things... For me, a single father, extremely busy, OLD is the only optimal option. I don't go to bars, babysitting is a bear, other social groups options is attractive, but again, very close to my kids and put their happiness ahead of my social needs, so OLD is it. Once I get interaction, I go for the kill as they say. I then date, meet face-to-face and that is that. Eh, I don't know. It's worked for me. I have so much going on, so little time and getting more and more independent, that dating is becoming a chore whether OLD or RL. Meeting face-to-face likely does have advantages away from GIGS issues and the meeting is more personable. But that happens in OLD, too. After you've decided to meet. Again, GIGS is a problem with the convenience of OLD. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SweetLikeCinnamon Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 As a girl this is why I try and stay away from OLD. Because I'm aware of how picky it makes me. Out of all the real life guys that I've ever had an interest in it is likely that I would never have messaged any of them back if they approached me in OLD. It's impossible for me to successfully gauge whether I'm going to be interested in someone based on a few 2 dimensional photos and some facts about them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 As a girl this is why I try and stay away from OLD. Because I'm aware of how picky it makes me. Out of all the real life guys that I've ever had an interest in it is likely that I would never have messaged any of them back if they approached me in OLD. It's impossible for me to successfully gauge whether I'm going to be interested in someone based on a few 2 dimensional photos and some facts about them. SLC, I admire you for this. Wisdom. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Well I haven't had success online or offline. The majority of my dates have been from online dating. So, I don't know whether it makes women more or less picky... Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Meeting face-to-face likely does have advantages away from GIGS issues and the meeting is more personable. But that happens in OLD, too. After you've decided to meet. Again, GIGS is a problem with the convenience of OLD. What is GIGS? Thoughs on OLD. I'm not surprised that you could have more success IRL with the same person who didn't message back on an OLD site. However, the success here was still up to a point. The difference is that IME, people always look better in person than in those pictures. I had very few instances where that wasn't the case and I've been on many first dates. That's why I don't go by the pictures, I only screen for obesity, bare chested pictures and/or some complete weirdness. Second, when you see someone at a club, you just see how they look, but don't know if they are a match for you in other areas that matter to people (e.g. education, profession, interests, the way they express themselves in writing etc.) so you could just go by one criteria, the one of how they look, maybe how they move, maybe if they said 3 words you have that information too, but that's about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wesker Posted May 12, 2013 Author Share Posted May 12, 2013 It sounds like you didn't let on, either. Not even with the benefit of a genuine "Don't I know you from somewhere?" line? I played it off like I've never seen her before. Honestly though, I was tempted to lay a couple hints, and see if she would bite. I guess I didn't want to create anything awkward if she didn't react too well, even though most likely they would just walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
straightshooter82 Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 Interesting thread so far. I'm a guy and have had limited success using OLD. I've gotten dates from OLD but wasn't really attracted to any of the women in person. I belong to one OLD site that hosts live events in my metro area, and I've had success attending the events and actually talking to the women in person. These women would have almost certainly ignored me on the site. Instead of being random internet dude #847 sending her some witty, interesting message about her profile, I'm <insert name> who she knows has solid interpersonal communication skills, owns a house, has a good job, etc. as I'm talking to her in person and had the balls to approach her in person. My assumption is most women would rather meet a guy in person rather than through an online dating site so I do what I can to put myself around the women I'm interested in when I have free time. Of course, you can always do both OLD and in person things to meet women. I think it's like most things in life in that the more time and energy you put into it, the more results you'll get. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 My first ever post on this forum. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/336060-consolidated-discussion-online-dating-24.html#post4517135 I wouldn't be surprised if this sort of thing happens often in smaller and mid-sized cities. The people who might be single and on the prowl would congregate in certain places on Friday and Saturday nights. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 12, 2013 Share Posted May 12, 2013 What is GIGS? Grass Is Greener on the other Side.... always looking for the next best thing/option. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 this pretty much proves how chicks online are way more choosy, picky, call it what you will, than in face to face situations. This makes little to no sense, for it ignores the obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
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