matchmaking services?

[BluEyeL]

Since OLD seems to be more of a meat market, I was wondering if anyone has an opinion about matchmaking services. There is one I heard of, they have monthly events: dance lessons, happy hour, comedy club, parties, so it is like a "singles club" where you can go within a community basically. They also maintain a website where you can look at profiles like in OLD. The problem is: it costs about 6 or 7 THOUSAND dollars for 2yrs. Would that be money thrown down the drain? anyone heard anything of these?

[MidwestUSA]

There was one here in STL; it went under. It was nothing more than a glorified Match, sad to say. They acted as if there would be only quality people, as only "quality" people would have the money to join. Not true. It brought out some desparate people. What is the name? If it's affiliated with the group that set up shop here, STLSingles, save your money!

[clia]

One of my friends joined one and it turned out to be a total waste. Due to the cost, they had very few members, so rather than actually matchmaking, they set her up with anyone who was remotely near her age. She had some crazy dates! (It made for some good stories.) Now she has cancelled her membership, but they still call her and set her up on dates with men who are members because they don't have enough women. She always goes since part of the rules are that the guy has to pay, so at least she gets a dinner out of it.

 

I think you would be better off trying Meetup.com and finding groups that do the types of things you want to do. I know there are hundreds of groups here in Chicago that do all the things you mentioned -- singles events, dinners, comedy clubs, etc. I've found it to be a great way to meet new people -- both men and women.

[soccerrprp]

Yeah, I kept getting calls from one of these establishments and simply never made the move to even entertain the idea. The cost was the biggest reason and since I was doing fine OLD, it didn't make sense to do it. Besides, how much better would it be?

[BluEyeL]

It's called "Great Expectations"

[MidwestUSA]

It's called "Great Expectations"

Which reminds me of the skit on Saturday Night Live, "Lowered Expectations"! I remember them from years ago, along with Just Lunch. Don't hear of them around here anymore. I honestly believe they are all a waste of money. But that's me. Do I know people who have met online or thru a group like this and gotten married? Yes. Do I think it's the best option? No.

[outsidethebox]

So that's what that was. Periodically I will see somethingwhateversingles.com planted in the median near a stoplight at various places here in Jacksonville. I looked it up one time a few years ago and all I got was a page to send a registration, no other info. I didn't fill it out.

 

I knew it was for money and was a cheap outfit given the little planted signs, but never would have guessed six or seven thousand dollars. I can just imagine their sales pitch on that.

 

For that kind of money I've read of individual matchmakers in larger cities. Also some assistance from matchmaking agencies, no group stuff.

 

Don't hear those things these days like you match.com and the like.

[MidwestUSA]

Those signs were EVERYWHERE here about 5 years ago. Each municipality had it's own version (yourmunicipalityhere.singles.net) but it was all the same organization. Better business bureau will tell you all you need to know about them.

[MidwestUSA]

Patti Stanger. Used to watch her all the time for amusement. I heard she might be engaged!

[StanMusial]

Patti Stanger. Used to watch her all the time for amusement. I heard she might be engaged!

 

I actually thought about trying her service a couple of years ago.

[FitChick]

Some articles about that service at Ripoff Report.

 

I wonder if that is the same service that did video dating years ago. You'd sign up and pay to watch videos of members, pick one and the company would show the other person your video and if there was mutual interest, you would meet. Scandal ensued when it turned out one guy was a serial killer.

 

In another famous case a different serial killer appeared on the TV show The Dating Game.

 

Most of those expensive matchmaking services discourage women over forty from joining.

Edited May 8, 2013 by FitChick

[Disillusioned]

AVOID THEM.

 

Professional matchmakers put their own image above everything else. Yes, they are costly, and that's due to a combination of their high opinions of themselves & the fact that they get sued a lot.

 

As far as the people you can meet through professional matchmakers... they're just as messed up as the rest of us, but with bigger bank accounts.

[Cutiepie1976]

It's Just Lunch is still around although they were sued by the NY Attorney General five years ago and had to modify some of their practices in NY. Feedback remains in the toilet, as it does for Great Expectations.

 

If you're going the matchmaker route, make sure it's a reputable matchmaker who provides individualized one-on-one attention in matching you, personalized coaching, and feedback, not just some fly-by-night operation with lofty promises and nothing else. Anyone can put up a shingle. Most good matchmakers, do screen. Many have male clients pay. Women generally don't, but understand that you are then not her focus. Her focus is on her paying client and meeting her contractual obligations with him, not you. Prices are far north of that you listed. He's bringing a fair amount to the table, so you are expected to do the same or more, particularly in the looks department.

 

I would continue with OLD and meeting people IRL, in your shoes. This is meant as constructive feedback--if you did a better job of pre-screening who you date on OLD, you would have better experiences. Ditto if you cut guys off as soon as they seemed ambivalent or disinterested about wanting the same things you do.

[BluEyeL]

Got it, bad news with these.

 

Problem with It's Just Lunch is that it's blind dating, it can't really work, since men are visual and they don't get to see the woman before they meet. Also women don't get to screen. As for Great Expectations and the like, I was thinking that their events would be useful since they happen IRL, but too pricey, probably can get in such groups for free. Match.com has some stir events too.''

 

Cutiepie1976, as for the people I dated through OLD, I only dated people that seemed good on paper, contacted me first. Well maybe I could have refused to go out with some of them based on the approach, yes. I didn't have really bad experiences, it's just that even educated men want sex first, some divorced ones don't want to go into a LTR bc they are not ready, some were boring and/or disinterested, a couple too fat and didn't see it in pictures, few I wasn't interested, some dissapeared before meeting. But I didn't go out with any really disastrous guys, all had careers etc. I don't get any dates IRL, don't know even one single eligible man that I could target. I have my job, a kid, very few close friends, who are not single and don't know single men, and live in a cave like a guy said up here (small town) . Don't know what it means to go "out there". Where? Bars? Even if I wanted to (which I don't), I don't have anyone to go with. By friends, I was "offered" just one single guy, pathologically shy, tried, but he didn't make a move. At this point, I am ready to give up, try to work on letting go of this idea and not get invested into it like in a project (that's how I feel now), just enjoy life in general and don't think about dating, i don't know if I can or when I can. Perhaps I'll never let goo, and I'll keep going back to OLD. Also, one of my biggest problems is that I'm an impatient person, this requires patience.

Edited May 8, 2013 by BluEyeL

[BluEyeL]

I actually just found a meetup group for singles over 40, and they have an event tomorrow night. Maybe I should join and just go.

[FitChick]

Google solo travel. There are several services offered for singles to travel with other singles. A friend did this but I don't remember the exact name.

[BluEyeL]

Good idea, but I can't travel with singles because I have an 11 yo son and have sole, 100% custody. I only travel for professional meetings a few times a year, and then I pay 100$/night for a sitter. But he's at overnight camp today and tomorrow and I could go to that event tomorrow, huh. I noticed more men than women confirmed participation. I'll try to use meetup more, forget the matchmaking scams.

[Cutiepie1976]

Good luck at the singles event tomorrow. Hope you meet some interesting people.

 

You also mentioned Match Stir events, and I've heard good things about those from both men and women. Even gender mix and each event promoted to a specific age range. Might be worth a try if you can work it out with a sitter. Can your son do sleepovers sometimes? That might give you a few extra nights as well to meet other singles and date.

 

Give it a little time, and you'll meet someone special.

[BluEyeL]

Good luck at the singles event tomorrow. Hope you meet some interesting people.

 

You also mentioned Match Stir events, and I've heard good things about those from both men and women. Even gender mix and each event promoted to a specific age range. Might be worth a try if you can work it out with a sitter. Can your son do sleepovers sometimes? That might give you a few extra nights as well to meet other singles and date.

 

Give it a little time, and you'll meet someone special.

 

Hehehe, done that two, once. No problem getting a sitter, I have one, how do you think I go on dates? Trips are more difficult. I've been at one match.com singles event. It was a latin dance lesson. The situation was like this: 4 men, all younger than me, and like 7 women. Granted, the women were younger than me, but FAT, one normal, older than me. It was fun though, but no dates or friends

 

I've been to one other singles event. Sat at a table and one guy stuck to me all night, I was trying to move around the room and talk to other people, but when I stood up, he was following right behind me, and didn't let anyone else talk to me. I went to the bathroom, trying to get rid of him and tried to leave, but when I returned he was waiting right at the entrance, blocking my way, asked for my number, we went on one date, but discovered we had nothing in common. He worked at UPS, and was nice, but really nothing to talk about. I was a bit annoyed that he kept me from others lol

[Sith Apprentice]

"It's just lunch???"

 

For all that money you could call up some hot escorts and go on a few "It's just sex" dates instead.

[outsidethebox]

I actually just found a meetup group for singles over 40, and they have an event tomorrow night. Maybe I should join and just go.

 

I joined the one here for over 45 and went to one event, a dance. I'm not even remotely interested in dance steps of any kind, I would rather claw my eyes out, but it seems to be the only universal way to meet women in an activity.

 

Still not enough to keep me from clawing my eyes out.

 

They do have some other random activies, the organizers try hard, they just created it a year or so ago, and I should try to be more social.

[BluEyeL]

I joined the one here for over 45 and went to one event, a dance. I'm not even remotely interested in dance steps of any kind, I would rather claw my eyes out, but it seems to be the only universal way to meet women in an activity.

 

Still not enough to keep me from clawing my eyes out.

 

They do have some other random activies, the organizers try hard, they just created it a year or so ago, and I should try to be more social.

 

Made me laugh with clawing your eyes out lol Yes, it's a bit awkward to go to those, we need to get out more though, make an effort.

[Cutiepie1976]

Interesting. The Stir events my friends went to were all in the 50-100 person range. It made it worthwhile to attend. Maybe it had to do with the size of the city.?

 

That UPS guy sounds like a total creeper if he stood guard and waited while you were in the restroom...and got in the way of you speaking with anyone else. Yikes! There are always one or two in any group. You'll learn to manage them politely off you. You paid and you're there to meet guys who interest you, not guys you don't really care for who decide they can prevent you from meeting any other guys, like bullies on a playground.

[FitChick]

Interesting. The Stir events my friends went to were all in the 50-100 person range.

 

Do you mean 50-100 years old?

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Since OLD seems to be more of a meat market, I was wondering if anyone has an opinion about matchmaking services. There is one I heard of, they have monthly events: dance lessons, happy hour, comedy club, parties, so it is like a "singles club" where you can go within a community basically. They also maintain a website where you can look at profiles like in OLD. The problem is: it costs about 6 or 7 THOUSAND dollars for 2yrs. Would that be money thrown down the drain? anyone heard anything of these?

 

I usually agree with your posts, Blu, but come on now.

 

As a woman, there is no shortage of options for you on OLD. You don't need a matchmaker.