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My picker is off!


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Old 6th May 2013, 12:07 AM   #1
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My picker is off!

[FONT=Calibri]I didn’t date much in high school, even though I was a cheerleader and popular. I was never “boy crazy”. My mother was pregnant and married at 17 and I never wanted to emulate that.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]So…I avoided boys and later met my ex-husband in college. We dated for six years and then married. We had a beautiful baby boy in 2003. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]By 2009, I realized I married the wrong man. I was too young to know what I wanted when I met him, but stuck it out as my parents did.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]In 2010 we were divorced. Good…right?[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Now, I don’t know how to search for what I’m looking for. I’m passive. All I attract are men with emotional, negative family issues who need a mother to take care of them. They also tend to be men with cheating pasts…this doesn’t mean they will cheat on me…but it does mean they require a great deal of attention.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Is there a forum, a place, a center, an organization…whatever…to help me?[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Clearly my “Picker” is OFF![/FONT]
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Old 6th May 2013, 11:46 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silly24 View Post
[FONT=Calibri]I didn’t date much in high school, even though I was a cheerleader and popular. I was never “boy crazy”. My mother was pregnant and married at 17 and I never wanted to emulate that.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]So…I avoided boys and later met my ex-husband in college. We dated for six years and then married. We had a beautiful baby boy in 2003. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]By 2009, I realized I married the wrong man. I was too young to know what I wanted when I met him, but stuck it out as my parents did.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]In 2010 we were divorced. Good…right?[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Now, I don’t know how to search for what I’m looking for. I’m passive. All I attract are men with emotional, negative family issues who need a mother to take care of them. They also tend to be men with cheating pasts…this doesn’t mean they will cheat on me…but it does mean they require a great deal of attention.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Is there a forum, a place, a center, an organization…whatever…to help me?[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Clearly my “Picker” is OFF![/FONT]
Hello Silly24,

So your picker is off, and you're attempting to recalibrate it . It seems as though most of your
experience was through your ex of 6 years. Who himself was probably conflicted with emotional, negative family issues? A child in the picture and now having to nurture two men has conditioned you. You may be consciously or subconsciously creating a place where men feel comfortable opening up or breaking down to be nurtured. Since you're passive you aren't taking control of who you meet, its' more or less filtering through the men that you attract.
I would suggest stepping a bit out of your comfort zone by taking on the aggressive role. With you now having to consider what is is you "want" compared to filtering with what you "don't want" in
a man.
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